The Pieces
by KiwiPants
Summary: She had never let anyone in for a very long time. She was stubborn and righteous and hard. She had plans and control. But he stripped all of that away and remade her. A Jared and Kim story. Canon.
1. So Contagious

**A/N: Welcome to the first installment of my wolf universe. I will probably do three stories, right now they're Jared and Kim; Embry and my own character Kayleigh; and Seth and Kim's only cousin Lily, again my own character. The names might change or I might be inspired to write something else, etc. but that's my plan right now.**

**My chapters are based off of songs that correlate with where Jared and Kim are; the names themselves might not make sense but the lyrics that I choose from them definitely will. I can't decide who's point of view is going to be present more, I have a feeling it's going to be Kim but Jared is easy to write too. So, without further au du, Kimberly Ann Morgan and Jared Michael Taylor :) Read and review, por favor. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does, but I like to play with her characters :) **

**P.S.- This is the first time I'm actually publishing anything I've ever written so, be nice, please. These are SM's characters the way I see them. And sorry this was so long, but it's the first chapter of a new story so I kind of have to explain a little :)**

Chapter 1-So Contagious

"Cause I believe in loving you with first sight. I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to…to take a hold of you." -Acceptance, So Contagious

JPOV

In through the nose, out though the mouth. Count to ten. Stretch my arms above my head, out in front, and down. Roll my shoulders, roll my neck. Rinse and repeat. Relax. "Whoosh," I breathed. Much better. It felt good to be back in my semi-structured life and a semi-routine. I could smell the chocolate-chip pancakes from the kitchen where my mom was cooking. Dad had probably left for work about an hour ago. I slipped on the first pair of jeans from my draw and threw on a tee-shirt. I was going back to school today which I am not a fan of, and now that I have supercool werewolf abilities, superpowers if you will, there was really no incentive to go. I was smart, don't get me wrong, but not like competitively smart. I was in two AP classes and honors the rest but I had only a couple A's and mostly of B+'s. It's not like I had any plan for the future. Mom said I didn't have to have one; I was perfect just the way I was.

... Which brings me to my next point: I'm a self proclaimed momma's boy. I played football - very well, mind you - and I could take apart a car and put it back together, and I was a _beast_ at GTA **(Grand Theft Auto, the video game, in case you didn't know).** But I could also bake a mean pineapple upside-down cake and I knew how to do my own laundry. How many seventeen year-old boys do you know that can do that? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I walked into the kitchen, savoring the lovely smell of chocolate-chip pancakes in the morning. "Ah, you, Mother, are the best." I said to my mom, Linda Ann Hall-Taylor. She was _the coolest_ mom ever. One of the strongest people I know, emotionally stable yet capable of sympathizing. She was a nurse at Forks Community Hospital, a 40-minute commute without traffic, but she got up everyday and went to work because she loved to help people and she loved her job. She really is a great mom. Even better, she knew I was a werewolf. I had exploded into my inner fur-ball when she told me that Dad wasn't coming home from New York because he had to stay another day for work. I cannot even tell you how it made me mad enough to phase, but it did, and right in front of my mother, no less. She freaked, I freaked; I'm pretty sure the dog freaked too because he still won't come near me. After she made sure she wasn't hallucinating (which was difficult), she called Billy Black, a well respected member of The Council, and told him that there was a slight problem in our living room.

I had destroyed the couch, the reason that set off my second phase, four hours later. I really loved that couch and I mourn its demise. It took me three days to calm down enough after exploding for the second time to actually become a human. My mother refused to leave my side (Momma's boy, remember?) after I had finally returned from a crash course in werewolves, and was the one who calmed me enough to phase. I forgot that I was going to be naked.... awkward, much? Sam took me out of school for two weeks to show me the basics and set up patrols. What a grueling two weeks. But I was going back now, so I needed to control myself.

My clothes felt restricting as I sat down and started shoveling food in my mouth, my mom watching disgustedly before shaking her head and looking away. I downed a half-gallon of milk and kissed her goodbye before running out of the house and into my truck. I was under strict orders from Sam to go to school and then come right back home for the next two weeks. I also had to quit football and any other sport. That sucked, football was fun. There was just no time to do anything but be a werewolf and go to school. Whatever, being a supercool, super powerful, super awesome werewolf was cooler... even if no one knew about it. I was only allowed to eat with Paul, who had phased just a week before me. Poor Sam, he had to deal with both of us at basically the same time.

Paul took a while to calm down; he was a wolf for a whole week. It was tough sharing his mind; he was my best friend but I had never realized the extent of his anger. His dad left when he was five, his two-year-old sister and his other sister not even born yet. I didn't know how much it had penetrated his thoughts. I could see the nights of sitting at his mother's door through the years, hearing her crying. I could see him holding a six-year old Tessa and a four-year-old Laura in his arms during a thunderstorm - holding them close because there was no one else to. I knew he hated that I had seen all of this, but it made us more like brothers, which I knew he was subconsciously thankful for.

Paul was leaning against his car when I pulled into The Quileute Tribal School. He had his eyes closed, a deep wrinkle in his brow. He had been off from school for three weeks due to his temper, and I could tell he was trying really hard not to be stressed. Like me, he was a pretty good student and had missed a lot of work, which meant twice the effort to learn....

Why am I here again? Stupid Sam and his stupid orders going all alpha on me. That's why I was here.

We walked to homeroom (AP Chemistry, I know you're jealous) and sat in our normal seats. I could hear the voices in the hall; I could see the looks, even Mrs. Atera did a double take (Yes, Quil Atera's mom teaches Chemistry and Biology at QTS). They all thought we were on steroids. I wanted to tell them the truth, that we were protecting them from something that could kill them in a nanosecond, that we were supposed to be respected as warriors. Instead I thought of the waves on First Beach and the steady sound of rain. I could feel Paul concentrating as well. I opened my eyes and nudged Paul out of his revere as the bell rang and Mrs. Atera started class.

"Welcome Back Mr. Taylor and Mr. Rivers. You have much to catch up on, see me after class, please." We both nodded in her direction. It was going to be a _long_ double period.

After Chem. I had Trig. Now _that_ was awkward; my football friends were in that class and I had to tell them that their starting quarterback was quitting. I was shunned. There goes, like, half of my friends. I didn't think it was going to bother me that much. I mean, I had Paul right? I forgot that I only have four periods with him. Fantastic. Fuck friends, who needs a social life, right?

Next was English with all of my lacrosse friends. I had to tell them that their goalie was quitting. There goes the other half. Excellent. Finally, Spanish, I could just sit there and listen in the back of the room and do absolutely nothing. I had really never had an aversion to school because of the social bologna that goes on but now that I was on the other side I can absolutely say it sucked.

Whatever; apparently all high school is based on is how well you can play. Thank God Paul and I had the next half of the day together. Lunch was fifth period, I wasn't even hungry, which was good because Paul ate all of my food anyway. I had free sixth. I considered just leaving and going to convince Sam that school was no longer necessary but decided against it. Paul met me in the lobby, looking considerably more happy than he did this morning; food does that to him... well, food does that to every man with a stomach. He sat down on the bench with an, "Oomph".

"This blows," I said, stating the obvious.

"I was a good running-back," Paul sighed.

"Yeah, I was a kick-ass quarterback."

"This blows."

"Said that already."

"We should protest. Can an alpha be overruled?"

"Don't think so."

"This blows."

And this really did blow. I was all happy this morning, thinking my stupid friends were going to be all sympathetic. I guess it was hard since all I told them was "Doctor's Orders, no sports"...yeah, that was pretty lame.

"We could leave."

"Sam would castrate us."

"True."

_Stupid_ Alpha and his _stupid_ rules that say I can't have any _stupid_ friends outside of the _stupid_ pack because I'm a super cool _stupid_ werewolf and I can burst into a _stupid_ ball of fur. Whatever...I feel like I've said 'whatever' a thousand times; I just want this day to be over. Paul and I headed off to Psychology to sit through yet another forty-five minutes of stuff that I'm not going to need to know anymore. Who the fuck cares about the stages of life when my very being defies science and reason, when I can live forever if I wanted to?

Finally, last period of the day, AP US History. More stuff that I don't need to know, that I had three-hundred years to learn if I wanted. Paul and I were first in the room, Psych. was right next door.

"Hello Mr. Taylor, Mr. Rivers! How good to have you back! You've missed a lot, but I'm sure you'll both catch up..." Yada yada yada, I'd heard the same thing all day. Mr. Kelly was a cool teacher but it was eighth period, a Monday, and I haven't had to get up at 6:30 for over two weeks, so I tuned him out. I usually sat at a table (yes, we have tables instead of desks in half of the classrooms because 'QTS is not only a highly academic environment but also a social one as well'... yeah, and the school board was cheap) with the rest of the guys but Paul and I were obviously no longer allowed to sit with them. Assholes. I wonder if they know that I could break every fucking bone in their bodies. Whatever...There's that word again.

Paul and I sat at a table in the back. The class started to file in and I glared at my former friends; Ashton, Evan, Mike, Chris, and Matt. They ignored me. I folded my arms on the desk and put my head down. Paul had done that the minute we sat down, not bothering with the idiots; smart boy. I felt a chair scrape against the tile and looked up. A petite (well, everyone was petite to me) girl was putting -well, slamming was a better word for it - her books on the table, glaring murderously at the wood in front of me. Another girl walked over and was immediately talking "...And Louisa just texted me and asked if I could ride Orion but I already have Mac and Ace to ride on top of whatever three school horses Monica wants me to ride and I have a Psych. test tomorrow that I _really_ need to study for -"

"Yes, Mina, I can ride Orion for you and anyone else if you need." The girl's back was turned to me so I couldn't make out who it was yet, but her voice sounded amused. The other girl, Mina, plopped her books down inconsiderately in front of Paul, I could see his hands ball into fists but he didn't lift his head. I put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, letting him know I was here and to just relax. She looked from Paul's figure to mine, back to Paul and then to the girl. The girl shrugged and turned around.

I was hit by a truck. My chest compressed tightly, like it was trying to cave in on itself, making it very hard to breathe. Her scent hit me first. Something I can't describe; it smelled like elegance, like she was made of the finest diamonds. It smelled like the sun (not that I know what the sun smells like), it smelled like vanilla and ice and mangos. I suddenly loved diamonds and the sun and vanilla and ice and mangos. I looked into her eyes, deep pools of black with the occasional speck of gold that would probably take a werewolf's eyes to see. I memorized her face in less than half a second, from the curve of her perfect lips to her proud Native American cheek bones, her jet black shimmering hair to the eyelashes that would have a supermodel jealous. My heart was pounding so hard I bet the entire class could hear. Heat was radiating off of her along with the overpowering scent.

It wasn't like everything else faded away, rather, she became the only thing that held color and depth; she was the one changing, right before my eyes. It was almost painful the way she had just annihilated anything and everything that mattered and placed herself below my collar bone, to the left, right next to my heart; no, not next to, inside. Yes, she had just opened up my chest and was now writing her name in permanent ink on my heart. She was imprinting herself on me, and there was nothing I could do about it... not that I wanted to. It only took me a few seconds of openly staring before I mentally slapped myself and pulled it together.

"Hey, sorry we hijacked your table but we've been shunned from ours." I told her, breathless from all of the room she was taking up inside of me so that my lungs couldn't expand. She seemed surprised at my apologetic tone. "Oh, no, it's okay, we'll just go sit at the other one." Her voice was perfect, exactly the way it should be. Light but strong. I stopped her before she could even pick up her books again. "Wait! No! Stay here, this is Paul." I said, and then nudged Paul a littler harder than necessary. He let out a growl that only I could hear.

"Yeah, sorry. Like he said, we've been shunned. We don't want you to leave, though," Paul said smiling at the girl Mina. Mina raised an eyebrow at the exact same time my imprint did and they both looked at each other questioningly.

"Yeah, sit, sit. I don't think he has any work planned for us anyway." I said, referring to Mr. Kelly. The girl looked at Mina and nodded.

"Alright," she said hesitantly. She put her book bag down and I could see her name written in neat curvy letters on a binder. _Kimberly Morgan. _Kim_. _Kimmy_. _Kimberly Morgan. What a name. She pulled the sleeves back of her long-sleeved shirt and revealed three leather gold plated bracelets, one reading _Supernova_, the other _Adrenaline Rush_, and the last _Pensé Bonne De_. Her copper skin looked like silk, her hands strong yet feminine. I couldn't even think straight, I just kept looking at Kimberly. I was already measuring her heart rate and her breathing pattern. I could stare at her for hours, just to see everything there was to her.

"So, are you going to tell us why you were shunned?"

"Because we're not playing football next year and I quit lacrosse so everyone hates us now."

"Oh...well... aren't you guys a big deal on the football team?"

"We were," Paul answered sourly.

"I see. Well, they're stupid and are just pissed because you won't be there to save their asses at counties next year," Kimberly smiled at me, her grin was infectious and I could feel my whole body warming even more than the normal 108_°. _

"Damn straight," Paul answered. I'm sure he could hear my accelerated heartbeat and erratic breathing, even if I was playing it cool on the outside.

Class proceeded much like that, a small amount of banter, a little flirting, a lot of just talking. It was easy for us all to talk like we had known each other already. Kim seemed to know a lot about my lacrosse and football positions, she hated being called anything but Kim, the three golden bracelets were of her horses names (Mina had the same kind), They rode at a farm near First Beach, Kim hated the color yellow, Mina loved the color yellow, and other fun facts.

I like Mina, she had spunk. Kim was, well, Kim. She was gorgeous; I couldn't take my eyes off of her and she radiated 'too good for you'. Paul was struggling to repress his laughter the whole time yet was pretty enthralled with Mina. They openly flirted while Kim and I just rolled our eyes. She smiled the whole time. Whether it was mocking or grinning or really smiling at something funny. She was witty and cool; she lit up when she smiled, her whole face glowing. She blushed a little, just a slight red tint when Mina said something embarrassing. They told us stories about stupid things they did when they rode horses. We told them stories about football disasters and pranks. It was perfect; the exact way a couple of kids sitting in eighth period AP US History should act, keeping our text books closed as we laughed together. I knew why it was perfect, Kim was my imprint. Of course we fit together perfectly.


	2. Change Your Mind

**A/N: I hate when authors repeat a chapter in other characters' point of view, unless it's really good and we need to understand what's going on inside their heads. So I think, in order to set the stage, I have to do that. Just hang in there, it's important for the story:)**

**I disclaim, by the way. **

_Kim's ring tone is Distraction by Angels & Airwaves_

"And when the sky is falling, don't look outside the window." -The All-American Rejects, Change Your Mind

KPOV

I was dreaming, I knew it, but it was a nice dream so I stayed where I was. Jared and I were walking hand in hand along First Beach, just walking. He would smile down at me or he would squeeze my hand every so often. That's all, we just walked. Sometimes I would pick up a nice rock or a piece of beach glass but other than that, it was just the two of us walking lazily on the beach. It was blurry, I couldn't see where on the beach we were or hear anything except the lapping waves which were only so clear because my mind was pulling them from experience. It was nice though, having some type of human contact. It was peaceful, even if only for a few hours unconsciously.

_"I'll be your distraction; I'll be your distraction. There's a film nearby, the words written in stone..." _my phone blared from the bedside table. I groaned loudly before pulling the covers off of my body. I knew that once I was just a little cold there would be some incentive to get into the warm shower. I had exactly five minutes to lie in my bed before I would have to get up. It was 4:30... on a Monday. Shoot. Me. Now.

I heaved myself out of bed and stretched out my back, flexing and contracting my muscles. My body was not happy to be so abruptly awakened. I yawned a few times before walking into the hallway and into the bathroom. I turned the shower on hot and slipped out of my clothes, turning them right-side out and tossing them into the hamper. I absolutely hate Mondays. It was my day off at the barn but I did the bills on Mondays on top of whatever homework I had, so there was really no 'day off' so to speak. I washed quickly and stepped out, going as fast as I could, trying to keep myself awake and on task. I dressed in a lavender long-sleeved shirt, skinny jeans and a pair of black converse. I added a small white vest because it was getting colder. I blew my hair out quickly, adding some no-frizz serum because God knows the air is always saturated in La Push. I brushed on some light make-up; nothing too over the top, always moderate, as per usual.

It was 5:10 now, right on schedule. Like always. I crept down the stairs, not that there was anyone in the house but it was early in the morning and It just feels like you shouldn't make a lot of noise. I turned the TV on, just something for background, and made myself a bowl of cereal; Raisin Bran with skim milk and a glass of orange juice. Exciting, I know. I grabbed my laptop from the counter and checked my e-mail while I ate. There was a message from my dad,

_Hey Kiddo, _

_I missed your schedule for this week. Did you forget to send it, or did it get lost? Write me back later and tell me what's going on. _

_Love you, _

_Dad _

God, my dad was oblivious. He worked hard so that he could live in Seattle and I could stay in La Push but the man had no idea what was going on. He was lucky I am the way I am... I eat freaking Raisin Bran for breakfast, and do the bills on Monday's, and I turn my clothes right-side out before I throw them in the hamper... I was sixteen going on, like, forty. Like I said, my dad is a lucky man. He works in Seattle for some big firm that I don't care to remember the name of. He used to work from home but my mom died three years ago and he couldn't handle being in the same house. I refused to move to Seattle with him; this house reminded me of Mom and if he couldn't handle it, then he could move by himself. I was a very stubborn thirteen-year-old... I'm a _very_ stubborn sixteen-year-old. Dad was too tired and sad to argue so I stayed in La Push and he moved to Seattle. No one knew, we lived on the outskirts of town and Dad made a _very_ generous donation to the council every year so no one said anything. I've been living by myself for three years and no one needs to know. I'm just fine.

My mom died three years ago of Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. She was diagnosed on April 9th and passed on the 30th. It was a hard blow but my rational self reasoned that people die, whether it was of old age, a heart attack, or Leukemia; our bodies only have so much time. I missed my mom like crazy, don't get me wrong, and I think about her everyday, I just find it easier to ignore it and not let anyone see how it affected me. I wasn't very open about it, I went back to school on Monday and when people said they were sorry for my loss, I smiled and said 'thank you'. No one pitied me anymore, which I was thankful for. No one whispered about why I was so quiet or why I had turned every boy down (nine in total) when they asked me to the Eighth Grade Dance; they just accepted the way I was and forgot about me the next year when the news hit that Tammy Forrest had given Evan Woods a blow job. That's the way High School is.

I e-mailed my Dad back telling him that my schedule must have gotten lost, since I _never_ forgot to send it to him, and that I would re-send it. I asked how his new case was going and how Uncle George was etc. That was the way Dad and I talked... via e-mail. He drove up to La Push every other Sunday to have dinner with me and talk about my plans for the next week (not that he would listen because I sent him a written copy) and he would come down to the barn for fifteen minutes and see the horses he bought me. And then he would leave. I e-mailed him on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. That was it. It was easier that way. We were polite but didn't make small talk. He knew I was responsible, I have never betrayed that trust, and in turn he lets me take care of myself.

I still can't tell if it's a blessing or a sacrifice on my end, though. I'm horrible at socializing, I like to keep to myself and I'm a neat freak, so on one hand it's relieving to live in my own house and have everything the way I like it. But I don't have anybody here when I need to talk. I haven't cried in my dad's arms since my mom died. I haven't had a real hug in a very long time. I'm cold almost all of the time. I haven't had to be anyone but myself, though. Just me, I don't have to come home and keep pretending that I'm happy, like I did at school; like I did when my Dad came every other Sunday for dinner.

It was 5:45, now, and I had about an hour to do anything I forgot to or didn't feel like doing last night. I finished an AP Chem. Lab that wasn't due until next week, downloaded a few new songs, re-organized the silverware drawer, added milk and OJ to the grocery list, threw the clothes that were in the washing machine into the dryer, and did a few pages of my AP US History review book. I shut all the lights off and double checked the doors, the stove, and any other electrical/gas appliance that could destroy my house.

The last thing I always did in the mornings was go up to Mom's studio. She was a painter; an excellent artist. I opened the white washed door and slipped inside. I kept this room immaculate, never moving anything from its place. The pallet that she last used had dried paint on it and the canvas she was painting on was only half-finished on the easel. I inhaled once and shut the door. It still smelled like her, even after all this time. I knew it was my imagination, but if I could still smell her, just in that one small room, it gave me a little peace of mind.

I ran out of the house and into my truck, my baby. My dad had bought it for me right after my sixteenth birthday, a Black Ford F-350 with a black interior. I christened her The Beast. And a beast she was, she could make it through any type of weather and could pull a six-horse trailer no-problem.

I drove down my long driveway and onto the street my best friend, Mina Weller, lived on. Our mothers had met at an art convention in Tacoma and hit it off. They were surprised when they were from the same rez. My mom had grown up in Olympia but was a full-blooded Quileute. She went to college at University of Washington, Seattle where she met my dad who was studying Law. They met, badabing-badaboom, married, pregnant, and then me. My Dad was part Quileute and part Irish but they were allowed to move into the house that my great-grandmother had willed my mother anyway. Tom and Annette Weller moved in after Mrs. Weller met my mother at the convention, wanting to return to her ancestors from Portland. Mina and I have been best friends ever since. Our mothers took us horseback riding at the local farm and we never looked back. Mina was the one who knew the most about me, and I was the one who knew the most about her. We fit together like two puzzle pieces.

Mina was waiting for me at the door and sprinted into the drizzle when she saw me in the driveway. "Hey," she said, breathlessly, "You won't _believe_ what happened Saturday night. I mean, really Kim, it's going to blow your mind. So you know how Mike Nocero was going out with Nina Foster?" I shook my head 'yes' even though I really didn't, "Well I saw him making out with Mel Lowes and..." I tuned her out after that, not that I didn't care that she had to say, but Mina was friends with everybody in school, even though I was her _best_ friend. Mina was the type of person who you really wanted to know, bubbly and happy, always offering a helping hand. She was cute and small, spunky and funny, and ridiculously nice. I don't know how we've stayed together all of this time but we have, like glue.

Mina babbled on for a few more minutes before we made it into the parking lot. She jumped out and walked with me to my locker and then we hit hers, still talking the whole time.

I couldn't help but glance discreetly at Jared's locker as we passed it. I knew he had first period free, like me, but I thought since he's been absent for almost three weeks that when he did show up, he would want to use his free time to find his missing work. I knew his schedule well, it was almost the same as mine. I knew he had been absent for a really long time and I kind of missed him. He had a great personality, even when it was clouded by his friends' stupidity. He's extremely athletic, constantly covering the pages of the school paper. I thought he was the best looking out of the entire school, even when he woke up late and didn't have time to do anything special with his hair.

Mina knew about my little crush on him... to an extent. She didn't realize I had his name all over my journal. _Mrs. Kimberly Taylor._ I like the way it sounded. He was the one who I always envisioned my self with. Maybe we would go to the same college and he'd have no one who knew him except for me and then we'd fall in love because he was so used to being with all of his friends that he needed someone to understand him. Or maybe we would meet up after college and just hit it off. Maybe he would come back to school tomorrow and finally realize that I've been sitting behind him in almost every class we have together. Too many maybes for my liking.

It was just a fantasy. Not even really; he was just the face and the body. I made up the conversations between us and the wedding and our children. He was the one I dreamed about. I considered it my one immaturity besides my stubbornness. Having a full out crush on someone who I've barely said more than ten words to. I knew the exact moment it started, too.

_There was black everywhere; my mother would have hated it. She lay there; asleep it looked like, in her casket. She was gaunt and fragile looking. Nothing like the mother I had known, strong, beautiful, and fearless. Nearly everyone on the reservation had come, even some of the kids in my school with their parents. We had the ceremony at our house in the back garden, a place where Mom would have chosen. She was in a cream silk evening dress that made her skin glow like she was still alive. Her thick black hair was done in curled ringlets, parted to the side. Her makeup was light, just how she would have wanted it, I made sure of it. Dad was next to me, and then Uncle George, Aunt Tory, and Lily, my cousin. That was all of the family I had. No grandparents, no other Aunts or Uncles in the state. _

_I was standing by her head and shaking people's hands that came by, saying 'Thank you for coming'. Jared's mom, Mrs. Hall-Taylor, whom I just called Mrs. Taylor, had worked with my mother and Mrs. Weller at the little Art gallery on the weekends in Forks. It seemed that everyone who was at the funeral had known my Mother in some way. It was hard not to know her, she was a social butterfly, so unlike myself. Mrs. Taylor shook my hand and pulled me for a small hug. I said 'Thank you for coming' and she squeezed my shoulder. Instead of smiling sadly at me like the other kids who had come with their parents, most likely forced, Jared pulled me into a bone crushing hug and kissed me on the cheek before following his mother. _

_He didn't know me that well, we had only seen each other a few times outside of school when our mothers brought us to the shop for the day, but he had hugged me so tight that even when he walked away, it felt like he had pulled me together with superglue and set me to dry. I was shocked by his level of compassion that it made my heart hurt even worse than it was. I almost lost my composure at his sincerity. Jared had a place in my heart from that moment on. _

I dreamed about that moment often, trying to get back some of the heat of Jared's arms. It worked sometimes. It made me dream of happy moments, like the one last night on the beach, instead of just memories and images thrown together. When I thought the sky was falling on me, I would think of Jared and how well he held it together. I tried to imitate his cool demeanor though I didn't have his natural charm or charisma. I tried to be the type of girl he would want to be, just so I could relive that moment when he hugged me and I felt warm, without changing myself. I wished he would think about that moment once and come into school the next day and ask me how I was doing. I wish the hug had meant something more to him than just a one time hug at my mother's funeral.

Before I knew it, I was in AP Chem. with Mrs. Atera fifteen minutes early, asking her some questions. She was a great teacher, always helpful and available for anything I needed. Sometimes she would look at me pityingly when she thought I wasn't looking, but I overlooked it because she was a nice lady.

"... Yes, see, so you have to make sure all of the charges add up so that the equation is neutral, understand?" She finished explaining.

"Yes, thank you." I smiled up at her.

"Good." She smiled back.

I finished putting my books away and raised my head when the bell rang only to be met with a huge figure in front of me. That seat, and the one in front of it, had been vacant for the past two weeks. I could tell by the birthmark right under Jared's right ear that it was him. He had grown at least a foot and I could see through his shirt the shoulder muscles. He was huge. I could barely see over his head. He had his eyes shut and was breathing heavily. Paul was doing the same in front of him. I went to the front of the room, taking the long way so I could see their faces, and almost gasped at the change in their expression. They looked ten years older and even more impossibly gorgeous than they had. "Welcome Back Mr. Taylor and Mr. Rivers. You have much to catch up on, see me after class, please," Mrs. Atera started class. Jared nodded his head. How was I supposed to concentrate on electrochemistry with Jared sitting right in front of me in all of his newly acquired beauty? It was going to be a _long_ double period.

I barely made it through the rest of the day. Hearing Mina babble about how gorgeous Paul was at lunch was tough. I tried to stare discreetly at them from a few tables down. I was sitting with Mina and the rest of her crew on the end of the table. Paul and Jared usually sat near the other end with their jock friends but they were alone today. Jared's face switched from angry to sad and back while Paul shoved as much food down his throat as possible. Jared ate nothing. I wanted him to smile, eat, drink, _do_ something. I tried to look away, tried to pay attention to Mina talking and what everyone else was saying but I just couldn't observe Jared for a few minutes and then throw him to the back of my head like I used to.

Thank God I had a few classes without him; he was becoming a serious distraction. I didn't see him for the next few periods; he had free sixth, I had Studio Art III. I had Italian seventh, he had Spanish. We had psychology and AP US History together at the end of the day but I had Mina in those classes as well.

I finished lunch and headed to Art. I was working on an oil pastel piece for my mother. It was from a picture taken a while ago. She was sitting in the living room on her favorite couch, a book in hand. I wanted to portray all that was her in this piece- I wanted to feel her vibe coming off of this picture in waves. The art teacher, Mrs. Sanders, almost cried when she came in on an early Monday morning to see me perched at a table working on the canvas feverishly. I told her I didn't want anyone to see and she set me up in the back room to work on it. Mina hadn't even seen it. Mrs. Sanders hasn't looked at it since I had shown her just the picture that Monday morning a couple of weeks ago.

I was just finishing the negative space around the couch, a mixture of the dark hardwood floors and light sage walls. I was taking my time. I wanted this to be perfect. I didn't know what I was going to do with it when I was finished, but I wanted to have something that really said _Mom_ to me. Like her studio, like her favorite coffee mug, like her clothes that still remain in the dresser in the master bedroom. I went in there sometimes just to look at her beautiful dresses and shoes.

The bell rang and I covered the canvas with a piece of tarp and made my way to Italian. I don't know why I took the class. I wanted to visit Italy but by the time I probably get there, I won't remember a word. I passed Jared in the hall but refused to look at him. I was not going to let his sudden appearance as a Native American Adonis change what he was to me: a face, someone to picture myself with, someone to imagine as a security blanket because I was currently without. I concentrated hard on conjugating irregular verbs into the present indicative and finishing my homework on double time.

The bell rang again and I hurried off to AP US History, my last class, with Jared. Mina would meet me here in a minute and I had no doubt that she had even _more_ gossip about Paul and Jared. I walked into the classroom and smiled at Mr. Kelly, who smiled back, clearly excited to be teaching us today. He was a cheerful one, that one. I looked over to the table that Mina and I shared to see Jared and Paul sitting there. Both had his head buried in his arms atop the table. _Why_ was he sitting here, for the love of all that is holy? Do the great Gods want me to fail out of school with these stupid seating arrangements? I walked over to the table, and put my books down roughly as I glared at the wood in front of me, mentally cursing Jared. I was not leaving my table because Jared and Paul had been kicked out of theirs. Mina wasn't paying attention as she walked in and started talking to me immediately.

"So I just talked to Monica and Louisa just texted me and asked if I could ride Orion but I already have Mac and Ace to ride on top of whatever three school horses Monica wants me to ride and I have a Psych test tomorrow that I _really_ need to study for-"

"Yes, Mina, I can ride Orion and whoever else you need me to." I smiled at her. That girl had too much on her plate. It meant more ride time for me, though, so I'm not complaining. Mina plopped her bags down in front of Paul who proceeded to curl his hands into fists, obviously upset about the loud interruption of his thoughts, not that Mina meant to do it. I saw Jared squeeze Paul's shoulder and Paul immediately relaxed. Mina looked at the table now, her eyes landing on Paul, then Jared, and then me. I shrugged, not knowing why they were there either. I turned around then, facing Jared, who looked like he just got slapped in the face. He snapped out of it quickly though.

"Hey, sorry we hijacked your table but we've been shunned from ours." He said, nodding toward his former table. He sounded genuinely sorry, why I wasn't sure, but he honestly seemed apologetic. I decided to be agreeable "Oh, no, it's okay; we'll just go sit at the other one." I didn't even get a chance to pick my books back up before he very nearly shouted, "Wait! No! Stay here, this is Paul."

"Yeah, sorry. Like he said, we've been shunned. We don't want you to leave, though," Paul said smiling at Mina. I could already tell what was going on inside o Mina's head- the epitome of _sa-woon_. She was keeping it cool on the outside though as she raised an eyebrow at the exact same time I did. We couldn't have planned that one if we wanted to.

"Yeah, sit, sit. I don't think he has any work planned for us anyway." Jared said, referring to Mr. Kelly. I looked at Mina and she nodded eagerly. "Alright," I said a little hesitantly.

"So, are you going to tell us why you were shunned?" I asked, trying to make conversation as I sat down next to Jared.

"Because we're not playing football next year and I quit lacrosse so everyone hates us now," he said a little sadly.

"Oh... well... aren't you guys a big deal on the football team?"

"We were," Paul answered sourly.

"I see. Well, they're stupid and are just pissed because you won't be there to save their asses at counties next year," I said confidently, smiling at them both.

"Damn straight," Paul answered and Mina and I laughed.

I felt at ease with Jared and Paul. Mina was openly flirting with Paul but Jared and I just rolled our eyes, smiling. I could get used this. I had wanted something like it for so long, it almost seemed unreal. My dream Jared seemed to be modeled after the real thing, which got me hoping beyond hope. I was going to dream again tonight. I was going to dream of Jared's smile, and his eyes, and his hair, and his charming tales of football pranks. This was not good for my heart. This was just a coincidence that my ideal guy was a carbon-copy of Jared. I was hoping, against my own advice- against my own will, really- that Jared was really what he seemed to be today... perfect.

**A/N: Okay, I got a little messed up with the school schedules. Jared and Kim are supposed to have almost the whole day together: **

**per.1- Free**

**per.2- AP Chemistry **

**per.3- Lab/Gym **

**per.4-Jared English, Kim AP lang. **

**per.5- Lunch**

**per.6- Jared Free, Kim Art**

**per.7- Psychology**

**per.8- AP US History **


	3. The Elephant Love Medley

**A/N: Holy pancakes! I didn't expect anyone to review/subscribe/add to favorites! Thanks to all of you who did, you totally made me day. I haven't figured out how to reply to reviews or anything but when I do, I promise to. Like I said, thanks for the early support! Maybe if you want to kinda a little check out my other story (The Imprint Chronicles)? But if you don't that's fine too :) **

**On to business, this chapter is both from Kim AND Jared's point of view. But it's not a repeat, so don't worry. Read and Review. Thanks, you're awesome** :)

"Love is a many splendid thing! Love lifts us up where we belong; all you need is love!" – Ewan McGregor, Moulin Rouge

JPOV

I was on cloud nine, totally and completely elated. I felt like I was going to burst with happiness. I couldn't get Kim's face out of my mind. It was ridiculous; she had annexed myself as part of her, it felt. I had no choices to make anymore. Kim was like a beacon, reminding me where I was headed and what my goals were at all times.

It felt nothing like what I had imagined, nothing the way I had seen it in Sam's mind. His type of imprint was more of a reinvention of himself. Like he was never what Emily had in mind and when the imprint took over he suddenly became whatever she wanted in a man. With me it felt like who I am is exactly who she wants and she just took me, like I was on display and once she had her hands on me it was like I was part of her.

I wanted to scream and jump and throw myself off of a cliff. It felt like my body had been dead before, like a battery, and now I was recharged. I was quivering from head to toe and I _needed_ to get rid of some of this energy. As soon as the bell rang I said goodbye to Kim reluctantly and made a mad dash for the woods. If I stayed with her I was going to want to stare at her and then that would lead to wondering how soft her silky hair would feel through my fingers or how smooth the skin on her cheeks was. And that was not good for my heart right now, which still felt like it was going to burst into a million pieces. I barely got my clothes off and into my mouth as Paul and I phased, taking off in the direction of the highest cliff in La Push. I was pushing my legs as hard as I could. I felt more powerful with Kim inside of me; I was bouncing off of the walls.

I phased back when we hit a break in the woods and barley got my boxers on before I was hurtling off the cliff. When I hit the edge I launched myself into the air and flipped as hard as I could. It felt like flying, like falling and soaring at the same time. Adrenaline was rushing through my body, coursing through my veins. I straitened out before I hit the water and I let myself sink a little before kicking myself back up. Paul had already jumped and hit the water after I came up. Paul and I laughed- him laughing at me more than at the excitement of it all as we swam toward the shore.

We collected our clothes back at the top of the cliff and headed for Sam's. I was starving, having not eaten at lunch. I was coming off of my high and my legs suddenly felt wobbly. I was emotionally exhausted and hardly made it through Sam's front door before collapsing on his sofa. Paul went immediately to the kitchen in search of food. I could hear Emily humming from the garden out back and the shower was running upstairs. She walked in and jumped when she saw me lounged across the couch.

"Jeez Jared, you scared me half to death!"

"Why, hello Emily dear! How are you this lovely afternoon," I smiled at her. Okay, so maybe my Kim high was not totally gone yet. She looked at me skeptically, assessing my grin and absolute disinterest in the small fruit basket filled with bananas, my favorite fruit, on the coffee table.

"...Sam...something's wrong with Jared." She called up the stairs. Sam came down the stairs in a hurry, buttoning his pants as came down the last step.

"What? What's wrong with Jared?" He asked in a flurry, looking between Emily and me immediately.

"He's not eating... and he looks like the cat that got the canary." She said looking up at him, the skepticism still written clearly on her face.

"Oh. I thought something was really wrong," he said, glaring at me like I was the one to call him down here for nothing instead of Emily.

"The moron imprinted," Paul said, his mouth full so it really sounded like "gra mowon inrfinted" but Sam understood immediately, his face softening. Emily squealed and ran over to hug me; Paul just rolled his eyes and mumbled something along the lines of two-to-three odds. I was congratulated and given a run through of the rules... which sucked. Rule #1- No sex. Might as well say no oxygen... not that I had lost my virginity. Well, I was a half virgin according to Regina George of _Mean Girls _(I throughly enjoyed that movie). But still. No sex at first so I don't screw up the relationship. Rule #2- No stalking, because that's creepy. That rule was Emily's idea. Rule #3- Think before you speak. That was agreed upon by both Sam and Emily… I had a tendency to just kind of say whatever came to mind and we couldn't have me going up to Kim and saying "Hey, I'm a werewolf and you're my genetically/magically designed mate!" That would be bad. The other rules were stupid so I stopped paying attention…

I was definitely coming back to 'normal' Jared from 'crazy, psycho, in need of sedation' Jared. I felt tired again, leaden with content. I wanted to see Kim again, though.

I already knew her scent like the back of my hand; all I needed to do was retrace the old trail from school. I phased and doubled back toward the main road, catching the sharp scent almost immediately. I followed it past Sam's house and toward the upper part of the rez. I crossed the street at a dirt road and followed it until the end where an immaculate, manicured house sat. I could almost _feel_ the Kim coming off of it. There was a wraparound porch with some chairs and lounges scattered about and _tons_ of flowers and plants set neatly around rock gardens and trees. It was beautiful. I followed the woods back but couldn't circle the house; there was a cliff where the wood had been cut away and you could see the water and the sunset. I didn't want to risk getting seen so I went back into the front and down a little, crossing to the other side of the yard and moved up again until I was right outside the kitchen window.

Kim was sitting at the dining room table with organized piles of papers and books across from her. There was soft music playing from the stereo and her laptop was open to a desktop calculator. She stretched up all of a sudden and brought her head down on the table with a bang, groaning on impact. _She just hurt herself_. I wanted to run to her and touch her some how, make sure she was alright and ask her why she was going around_ banging her head into tables_, but that hardly seemed appropriate so I sat by the window and watched.

She lifted her head again and got out of the chair at the head of the table, stretching her legs out this time. I hoped she wasn't planning on causing bodily harm to them. She closed her laptop and sighed, putting the piles of papers into folders and placing them neatly into the oak file cabinet on her way out.

She grabbed a box of raisin bran (gross) and some skim milk and made herself some cereal. What kind of dinner was that? She needed some meat... and potatoes... and something green. I was instantly concerned about her iron levels. She walked through the kitchen and into a small den and then out the sliding glass doors. She sat on a small chair cross-legged and watched the receding sun. She was going to get cold if she didn't put a jacket on soon.

_Jesus_, I knew the imprint thing was strong and I had felt its impact but now I was living in the aftershock. All I could think about was Kim, Kim, and Kim. Kim's Iron levels, the small bump forming on Kim's forehead, Kim getting cold. I watched her for a little while more; I wanted to stay there all night and watch, make sure she was safe, not that I could do anything if she hurt herself again. It's not like I could just pop out of her bushes, half-naked and say "Hey! Would you stop hurting yourself because what hurts you is killing me?" Yeah, that would go over well. When she turned off all of the lights down-stairs and ascended the steps I took off for my house.

I phased quickly and headed into the house. Mom was standing against the table waiting for me.

"Jared Michael Taylor, you better have been doing something for Sam or Emily because your father and I have been waiting since 6:30 for you, young man!" She threatened me. Mom was scary when she got angry. I couldn't keep the smile off of my face though. I picked her up and pulled her into a not-so-gentle hug. "Can't. Breathe. Jared!" She gasped. I set her back down and dusted off her shoulders.

"You are the best mom ever!" The Kim high was renewed once again.

"I don't even want to know. Dinner's in the microwave." I didn't even care that my mother was totally unenthusiastic about why I was dancing around the kitchen humming to myself. Mom kissed me on the cheek lightly and went into her room. Dad had already gone to bed, even though it was only 9:30. I ate quickly, barely tasting the food, showered and collapsed into bed, the exhaustion overwhelming me again. I yawned loudly before falling into the soft clouds of sleep.

My subconscious mind was looking for images of Kim. It used the ones from today, analyzed them, and then started looking for more. I saw her answer a question that had the whole class stumped in AP Chem. I saw last year when I asked her for a pen in Geometry-little snippets of things. I could see that she had sat at the same lunch table as me only on the opposite end. Even from times when she wasn't the imprint she was beautiful. I was flashing through these images when suddenly I was pulled into a memory so clear and vivid I don't know how it didn't make itself present until the middle of my reflective dreams.

_I was in a tight, constricting black suite, my mother next to me in a black dress. Black everywhere. Mom said a girl in my class had lost her mom, the lady that she worked with at the gallery on the weekends. I couldn't put faces to the names but I knew if I had lost my mother so quickly I wouldn't be able to stand at her casket and shake hands and say 'Thank you for coming'. I wouldn't be able to hold it together. I felt horrible for the girl, whoever she was. She was turned to the side so I wasn't getting a great view of her face. She was small and her posture was bent under the weight of grief. She looked fragile, so when it was my turn, I automatically pulled her for a hug. I didn't know her, no, but I know that I would need as many people as possible to hold me together. She went rigid for a second and then squeezed back enough to let me know that I had done the right thing. I kissed her temple lightly, trying to exude that someone felt for her. I mean, we all did, but a handshake and a smile wasn't a sufficient way to hold someone together in a time of need. I didn't look back, afraid that I would cry if I saw the pain her eyes felt. _

_I caught up to my mom and grabbed her hand. I wanted her to know that I wouldn't be able to make it if she wasn't here. She squeezed my hand, letting me know it was understood. My dad caught up to us and put his arm around my shoulder and we walked out of the backyard where the service was being held. I knew that backyard; it hadn't changed one bit. As we walked around I took one more look at the girl and she was easily recognizable this time._

I woke with a start, my heart clenching so painfully I thought it was trying to kill me. I had tears running down my face almost immediately. The pain Kim had felt on that day was directly correlated with what I was feeling now. The affect of the imprint carried over to the memory. I buried my face in my hands and tried hard to stop the flow of tears. I needed to see Kim, I wouldn't be able to comfort her but hopefully just seeing her would put me at ease. I was out of my window in a matter of seconds, grabbing a pair of pants that were tied up in some string under the window (mom's idea). I phased midair and took off running.

I could hear her deep, even breathing from the window and I instantly felt warm again. I climbed the tree that was right next to her room, the only room with sound coming out of it. Where was her dad? I threw that thought aside when I reached the top and looked into the window. Her small frame was curled into fetal position and she was shivering, trembling from cold. I opened the window without thinking and entered her room. It was moderately sized with lavender walls and a dark hardwood floor. I sniffed the air, looking for some type of blanket material. I opened the door leading out of her room and walked down the hallway. There was a linen closet right before the bathroom and I looked for something warm. I came back with three blankets and laid them over Kim's restless form, one on top of the other, quietly. I watched her from her desk chair until she stopped shivering and then left reluctantly. It was 3:00 am and I only had another three hours to sleep so I hauled myself back home and into my bed as fast as possible. I was asleep in a matter of seconds, content now that Kim was warm.

I know it's creepy, me going to see a girl that I really only met today in the middle of the night and then breaking into her house, but I equated me being Jared and her being Kim with making it okay. It was acceptable because I had good intentions… it wasn't stalking… yet.

KPOV

I woke up sweating. I was drenched, covered in what felt like hundreds of blankets. I threw them off and immediately got up. It was 4:25. An extra ten minutes! How exciting. I descended the stairs quickly and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, gulping it down in a matter of seconds. My head was spinning with the heat and my body was struggling to keep up with my fast pace. I leaned against the counter and rubbed my head. My stomach was churning and I made a dash for the bathroom, almost missing the toilet. I hate a lot of things like peanut-butter and crying and dirty socks but I _absolutely hate_ throwing-up. I groaned and laid myself down on the cool tile.

I felt better, still hot, but the head spinning was going away. I jumped into the shower and nearly screamed when my overheated skin was hit with the freezing water. I didn't even wash my hair or anything, just cooled myself off and decided to go back to bed. It was too early in the morning to be dealing with this.

I put my clothes back on and walked back to my room, throwing the blankets off and opening my window wide. I had the chills now. I obviously can't seem to keep my body regulated and I groaned again at the cold. I pulled a blanket back up and promptly fell asleep. I was exhausted and I haven't even been awake for more than a half-hour. I didn't even care how I ended up with fifty blankets on, I just fell right back asleep and put my phone on silent. I had the same repeat of dreams I'd had last night. Jared, Jared, and more Jared. I wasn't complaining.

I slept till nine and then went to barn, rode a gazillion horses and went home exhausted. I wasn't paying attention so when Jared said "Hey, Kim," from a chair on the porch I nearly screamed. "Don't do that Jared!"

"Sorry," he said apologetically, "but I have your work for today. You didn't miss much though."

"Oh... thanks," I said, grabbing the folder he handed me. I unlocked the door and flicked the lights. "Want to come in?" I asked, unsure if that was an okay thing to ask to someone that just started taking to me.

"Sure!" He exclaimed exuberantly. I smiled at his enthusiasm, dropped my stuff in the foyer and went into the kitchen.

"Iced Tea?"

"Yes, please." Wow... polite. I grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and poured even amounts in both. I could feel his eyes on me. I turned around and saw him eyeing my apparel. Boots, half-chaps, frayed pants, and a long-sleeved shirt. I was a wreck and I probably smelled like horse manure. He didn't wrinkle his nose at the smell or look at my clothes with disdain. Just curiosity.

"I look like a mess, I know," I smiled at him.

"No, you look cute." Then he gave me the 'Jared Smile'. _Sa-woon_. Cue heart stutter. We sat at the small table and sipped our drinks slowly.

"So, how are your horses?"

"They're good." What did he want me to say? I wasn't about to go into elaborate detail on Nova's inability to keep himself in a frame over a fence or how Fiona refused to use any impulsion no matter how hard I jabbed her with my spurs. I could go on for days about my horses but I'm pretty sure Jared would not want to listen to me ramble on and on about things he wouldn't understand.

"Come on, Kim. I know you can talk about those horses for hours, I've seen you do it with Mina. I want to learn; I want to talk about all that cool stuff and all of those cool words that use too." I was shocked. He wanted to learn about things that held no appeal unless you could apply them.

"No, you really don't. I really _could_ talk for hours, Jared. I don't want to subject you to that kind of torture." He laughed.

"No really, come on, teach me." His eagerness was irresistible. The puppy eyes were killing me.

"Okay, you asked for it. Well I have three horses, _'Supernova'_ a.k.a. Nova, '_Pensé Bonne De' _a.k.a. Fiona, and _'Adrenaline Rush'_ a.k.a. Jazz."

"Why do they have two different names?"

"Because they're supposed to have a barn name that sticks with them forever and a show name that can change and is based on what type of horse or discipline they are." He looked thoroughly confused now. So I went into an elaborate explanation of horse-shows. He looked completely ruptured with all of this boring horse stuff.

It was ridiculous; no one besides my barn friends even cared a little about my horses. They were such a big part of me and to have Jared freaking Taylor sitting at my kitchen table, drinking iced tea and listen to my stories and facts was invigorating. I knew he was paying attention because he asked a lot of questions and would add his input the more I explained. He laughed when I told him I was fearless on a horse. He looked horrified when I told him that I had three broken hands, five concussions, a bruised spleen, and an unaligned spine to prove it.

When I was done talking my brains out I asked him about football. I had the gist of the game but didn't know the specifics. I payed attention but I also watched his lips forming around words and the wild hand gestures that he made. I smiled when he became frantic at recalling near impossible plays that him and Paul had pulled off. They were quite the team, apparently.

We talked for nearly three hours and it was around 9:30 by the time he left. I was filled with happiness, skipping around my house doing this and that with a smile on my face. It was a Tuesday and I was smiling. It's the freaking apocalypse! How was it that just talking with Jared put me on cloud nine?


	4. Hands Down

**A/N: Hi guys! Thank you, again, for all of the reviews. But I can't reply to you if you're anonymous! Log in or sign up! I used to not have an account and just add the stories I liked to my favorites but then I got an account and realized how nice it is! Do it! Please? No? Pretty Please? Alright! Thanks!**

**Important Chapter! Hope you like it!**

"Breathe in for luck. Breathe in so deep. This air is blessed, you share with me. This night is wild, so calm and dull. These hearts, they race, from self-control." -Dashboard Confessional, Hands Down

KPOV

"So there's this thing tonight that I have to go to…" Jared trailed off. We were sitting in AP US at the back table doing partner work and I happened to be conveniently partnered with Jared.

"And…" I kind of thought I knew where he was going with this.

"And…I want you to come with me." I wanted to say yes almost immediately; the girl that was in love with Jared Taylor was _screaming_ yes. The rational side of me wasn't having any of that.

"Well, where is it you would like me to go with you?" I asked reasonably.

"It's a bonfire on first beach and it's mandatory for some of us. I don't really feel like going but if you're with me it'll be better," he smiled at me. I couldn't resist. It was just a bonfire; we'd be going as friends. And, really, who _could_ resist when he asked like that.

He looked anxious as I thought it over. "Yeah, I'll go with you. What time?"

"I'll pick you up at seven."

"Okay, I'll see you at seven," I said just as the bell rang, effectively ending our conversation. He left with a final wave and disappeared into the hallway, although his six-foot-something form was easy to spot retreating out of the side doors.

I was going to a bonfire with Jared Taylor. _What was I going to wear_…why did I care what I wore to a bonfire? Dear God he's turning me into one of _those_ girls. I hate those girls. You know _those_ girls, don't act like you don't.

I _refuse_ to be one of those girls. I stopped at my locker quickly and headed to the barn. I had three to ride for Monica and my three. It was twenty to three now and I had to be home by six…that was six horses in three hours. There was _no_ way that was happening. I picked up the phone and called Mina but there was no answer. She had been researching in the library with Paul…yeah, researching the inside of his mouth.

I was in a serious tight spot but I would be damned if I let Jared and his impossibly gorgeous smile disturb my perfectly attuned schedule. I called everyone and anyone who would be willing to ride Fiona and Jazz so I could ride whoever Monica had me scheduled for but _no one_ could do it. I just needed them to go! This was incredibly frustrating; I was torn between wanting to call Jared and telling him we'd have to reschedule and skipping out on riding. I had never _not_ ridden due to something other than being sick or indisposed.

I flew towards Split Tree, pushing my luck with the always wet roads. I pulled into the parking lot and sprinted into the tack room, people giving me questioning looks as I passed. I changed quickly in the locker room and ran to the whiteboard with our assigned horses on it.

But there was nothing written next to my name. _Nothing_.

I didn't want to get my hopes up yet so I hurried down East Barn and into Monica's office. She was sitting at her desk looking over some papers when I barged in.

"What's wrong?" Was her immediate response.

"I have no one to ride?"

"Nope, Corey and Finn are getting new shoes put on so I needed to use Niko and Twister in their lessons and I have someone here to try out Fiona so you don't have to ride her. Oh! I almost forgot! There's someone who's here to try Jazz!" I honestly could not believe my luck. I wasn't going to start asking questions, though.

"Do you have someone to take care of him?" I asked hurriedly.

"Yeah, I was going to do it," Monica replied while standing up. I nearly knocked her over I hugged her so hard.

"Thank you, thank you, _thank you_! You are the best barn manager ever! Remind me I have to take you out to dinner soon because I really, _really_ need to thank you! Okay, gotta go, bye!" I still couldn't believe this! I could ride two horses in three hours no problem.

"You're welcome?" Was Monica's confused reply but I was out the door running down the aisles already.

I was fidgety and nervous. It was 7:03 already and I was dressed and ready, trying not to act like this was a big deal. Because going to a bonfire with a really gorgeous guy that I've _really_ liked for the past four years is not a big deal at all…nope, not at all. I had changed my outfit three times and I know I'm going to wish I had kept the first one on later.

I was happy though. I had found a flow-y white tank top and a pair of white wash jeans in the back of my closet that gave off a laid back yet pretty aura. I had done my nails in a light pink and my hair was down. I put a small amount of make up on and searched for a pair of acceptable flip-flops.

It was 7:08 now as I looked myself up and down in the mirror, assessing and analyzing my posture and mannerisms. I didn't want to be too laid back but I didn't want it to look like I was going to one of those dinners my father always went to with his law firm. I wanted to be just right and no matter how hard I tried to find excuses, I wanted to be just right for Jared.

And then I heard it. The door bell. It never sounded so foreboding. The full weight of apprehension fell onto my chest and I felt those clichéd butterflies. My butterflies weren't fluttering though, mine were freaking cage fighting.

I grabbed a blue sweater from the hook in the foyer and opened the door slowly. I couldn't think of anything to say except for "Hey."

"Hey, you look…just, wow," Jared smiled at me. I glanced quickly over him as he did me and I smiled at him wearing my favorite light ones that hung low on his hips and he only wore when he went to a party. I loved those jeans; mostly because when he would play football on the beach at some summer festivity that Mina had invited me to, he would throw off his shirt and I got to see the gorgeous 'V' that led down from his abs to the…nether regions. But I was getting ahead of myself. He was also wearing this tight white tee-shirt that showed off his pecks gloriously.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself," I smiled back.

"Come on, I'm late, and Sam might kill me…or worse." He took my hand and we headed towards his old black truck. He opened the door for me like a true gentleman and I could almost feel myself beginning to swoon. I held it in though and buckled myself in as Jared hopped in the driver's side.

"I'm really happy you came with me. It's going to be boring, the elders just tell old stories and we make burnt food but if I have to suffer through that, at least I have company."

"Sure, sure, make your innocent friend suffer through that with you, real nice Jared," I joked with him.

"Alright so maybe I'm exaggerating a little but I make no promises. There might not be anything actually edible and I'd rather not poison you just yet."

"Yeah, you're right; you're going to have to save that stuff for next week. This week you can just bore me to death." He laughed and we were nearly to the beach so I just smiled and let a comfortable silence hang.

"Now I must warn you, you might meet some scary people but don't worry, I'll protect you."

"Yeah, okay, Macho Man. I think I can handle it. You should probably save the scary people for after the food poisoning, though." He laughed and took my hand again. I couldn't help but smile at the feeling of his ridiculously warm hand enveloping mine.

We walked a ways down the wooded path that led to the beach and finally reached a break where the sand met the dirt. There were people gathered around a fire but it wasn't quit dark yet so I could make out some familiar faces.

There was Sam Uley sitting next to Old Quil and Billy Black who was seated next to the Harry and Sue Clearwater, all members of the council. Then I saw Paul sitting on a log a little down from Emily Young, Sam's fiancée. There were a few others scattered about that I didn't recognize. Jared walked over to Sam and Emily and they stood up immediately.

"So this is the Kim Jared's been talking about all week! Nice to meet you," Sam's stony face broke into a grin that made his whole face look a whole lot younger. I looked over at Jared as I shook Sam's hand and his face had the most adorable red tinge to it.

"This is my fiancée, Emily." Emily smiled at me and shook my hand as well.

"Nice to meet you, Emily."

"Yes, nice to finally meet you, Kim. Jared has _not_ stopped talking about you. Would you like something to eat; you'd better grab something before the boys eat it all, they're like savages," she laughed in a motherly way and I was instantly attracted to her. Jared blushed a little darker.

"Trust me, I know. I've never seen someone devour three trays of cafeteria food each faster than Paul and Jared have." She laughed and I smiled at the good start we were getting off on. Jared began talking to Sam as Emily led me over to the tables of food. I got a good glance at her face up close and nearly shuddered at the thought of what happened to her. I didn't stare though, everyone knew what happened to her and it's not like I hadn't seen her before around town. She even came down to Split Tree with her nieces once.

"So tell me, what do you think of Jare-Bear?" I laughed at her nick-name and tucked it in the back of my mind for later. I didn't know how to answer her question, though. I couldn't just tell her I've been in love with someone that I made up in my mind that was essentially Jared for more than four years.

"He's…I don't know. He's just Jared, you can't really explain him." I smiled.

"Oh, come on Kim! I'm _dying_ here! I haven't had a good girl talk in a long time! All my friends and family are up in Neah Bay on the Makah rez.! Please, I'm begging you!" I couldn't help but laugh at her need for some company and conversation. Sam doesn't exactly look like the talkative type.

"Alright, alright. I don't know, we've always hung out in the same circle of friends. _We_ just never actually hung out. But if you want to know a secret, I've had my eyes on him for _at least_ a couple of years." I tried to make it sound like I wasn't totally in love with him and give Emily something to go on at the same time.

"I swear that boy is oblivious! It's really hilarious; he cannot stop talking about you. And to think you guys have been friends with the same group of people for so long."

"I blame the Y chromosome. I have patience, thank God." She laughed and we proceeded to talk about this and that and I couldn't help but really like Emily. She was a lot like Mina-impossible to dislike. She talked about Jared in a motherly way, almost, and I loved her nick name for him. Jare-Bear. It really was putting some cuteness into his absolute sexy and it only attracted me further, if that was possible.

Emily and I had just finished eating and we were talking with Jared and Sam when Billy Black cleared his throat, silencing us immediately. It was weird that any member of the elders had that ability. A commanding presence about each of them, it seemed.

And then Billy Black started to talk, reciting the legends perfectly in a majestic voice that captured the attention of everyone on the beach. I only knew a few of the legends from what my mother used to tell me but I could tell this was different. There was an ancient manner that took over the air around the beach, excluding us and taking us into the stories like a time machine. And I was incredibly happy that Jared was the one sitting next to me.

Before I knew it, Billy's voice faded and the air became normal again. It was lighter and calmer. Jared nudged me from my revere and asked me to take a walk with him.

He led me into the woods, his huge calloused hand clasped around mine. My head was still reeling from the stories told in Billy Black's rupturing voice. My stomach was full and the warmth of flames made my body feel flushed. The heat was bringing about a friendly feeling of fuzziness that engulfed my whole body. Jared pulled me further into the forest, not enough for the voices of the bonfire to fade out but just enough that the silence of the wooded area was noticeable.

The fuzziness was accompanied by anticipation. Jared's pressure on my hand was growing as he led me further along the path that lay parallel to the coast line, pulling branches out of my way and steadying me on the uneven footing. I knew this path well, having traveled it on horseback and sometimes with Mina but it felt different with Jared somehow, like I didn't know where I was going in the darkness, that I would be lost if he weren't here leading me.

We reached a log on the outer edge of the path and he settled himself, my hand still attached to his. I sat next to him and played with his fingers so that they were laced through my mine and started to draw patterns on the large expanse between his wrist and knuckles. His hands were _huge_. He took a deep breath but didn't say anything. I knew he brought me out here to tell me something and it was obviously important so I gave him time to plan out what he was going to say.

We sat on the log for a few more minutes until he spoke. "What if I told you the legends were true?" He asked, his face completely serious.

"I'd say you need your head examined." Well that was extremely tactful...not.

"Okay that's expected but you need to hear me out and not run or ask any questions until I'm done," he said. Done with what? Why the hell couldn't I ask questions? If I was going to need to ask questions, I wasn't going to remember them all if I had to wait until the end of what he was indicating to be a long speech. He took another deep breath.

"You know how in the legends the men could shape-shift?" I nodded. "Well, I'm a descent of Taha Aki and because we are threatened by the 'cold ones'- I'll explain about them later-I can phase into the form of a wolf and I exist to destroy them. I belong to a pack, the alpha being Sam, and we exist to protect the tribe, just like the spirit warriors did. I know it's a lot to take in but I'm telling you this for a very important reason."

I was momentarily stunned by his proclamation. And then my body was engulfed with fury, all traces of the earlier warmth and excitement gone. "Are you _fucking_ kidding me? That's just low, even for you. I know you seem to think that you're better than everyone because you know how to throw a _fucking football_ but to think that you are allowed to get a laugh at _my_ expense is absolutely unacceptable, _you ignorant asshole_,'' I raised my voice at him and stood immediately, hoping to channel rage into my words... I wasn't exactly threatening at my 5'3'' stance but maybe my words would bring shame and humiliation instead of intimidation.

The least I could do was wound his ego and maybe insult his intelligence. Had this whole week been planned out with him and his friends because they were bored? Was this amusement to them? That was the only logical explanation. I knew this was too good to be true.

I was overwhelmed by the urge to hit him really hard. I mean really, was he serious 'Oh, I'm a werewolf'. Fucking idiot. I knew that I was strong, wrestling around with 1,500 pound animals does that to you, but Jared was _ripped_... I definitely could not do any damage and I probably couldn't out-run him. I had wrenched my hand away when I stood and I wound it back and slapped him hard across the face. Too bad I hit a freaking cement wall. "Mother Fucker!" I screamed. He winced like he was in pain. Good. I hope he felt that, because I sure as hell did. He was trying to get some words in now. "Wait, Kim, no! It's not like that, I'm telling the truth! What kind of jerk do you think I am?!"

"A really big one, and I can't believe I was so stupid to trust one of you. God, you are all just a bunch of self-centered, selfish, oblivious, arrogant _morons_!"

"Kim! Wait! Stop!" He was trying to grab my hand again, but I was already walking away. I hate Jared Taylor with an ungodly passion. And now my hand was throbbing. God-dammit.

Jared had tried to follow me and kept telling me his bullshit story. I bet he had a camera in his pocket or something that he could show to his friends later and they could all have a laugh about it. I finally told him that I would call the police if he didn't stop following me. He finally slowed from my speedy pace and slunk into the woods.

He actually looked really sad... like he wished he had gotten me to believe him... probably so he could tell me I was really a witch with super magical powers; my reaction to that would have been _really_ funny. Yeah, he forgot that I wasn't part of his fucking bimbo filled fan-club - even though I swooned at the near thought of him - and actually had a brain that I utilized often. _God I was so pissed_.

When I reached the bonfire, I grabbed my bag and thanked everyone for having me. Emily gave me her number and told me to call her if I ever needed anything or just wanted to hang out. She really seemed nice enough and Sam looked like a no-bullshit kind of guy, so why was Jared such an ass? Before I got a chance to say goodbye to Paul he glared at the space next to me and sighed, jogging into the woods presumably to look for Jared.

My hand was still throbbing as I walked into the makeshift parking lot. I contemplated keying Jared's car but that seemed childish and immature... which I was totally okay with but my anger levels were receding marginally so I decided against it.

Split Tree was only a ten minute walk from first beach, barely a half-mile in distance. I walked with my arms crossed the entire time, scowling into the darkness. How could I have been so stupid? We had had a great time the past week. I bet that was all part of the plan. 'Let's see how long we can get Kim to think Jared's into her and then we'll try and get her to believe some stupid story about spirit wolves so we can record it and make her look like a fool!' I don't care how nice Jared's smile is or how dark his eyes, I was not one to be toyed with. I wasn't here for Jared or anyone else's entertainment. Just thinking about it made my blood boil. I needed to expend some energy before I hurt someone.

I needed to ride. I could ride Nova, an old friend; someone to enjoy myself on. I could ride Fiona who would probably not appreciate being ridden at this late hour. Or I had Jazz who was perfect for getting the hell beaten out of him. He was too hard headed to be a good boy and since he hadn't been ridden for a good long time today he was sure to be full of energy. Jazz it was.

I headed into South Barn and flicked the switch. The sudden light didn't seem to bother the horses and I was grateful that it was just me in the barn. I hurried into the locker room and opened the big wooden box that held my clothes. It was late, so I doubted that anyone was here. I changed quickly and threw my hair into my helmet, picked up my tack and made my way through the aisles of West Barn until I reached the last stall in the furthest aisle down.

Jazz was munching his hay happily, looking excited to see me. He approached the gate and lifted his head over, obviously wanting a peppermint or at least a carrot. I opened the wrapper of an old starlight mint and held my palm out for him to take. His ears perked forward even more, if that was possible. I laughed when he licked my hand, a 'more, please?' gesture. I opened his gate and slipped his halter on, running my hand over the name plate, 'Adrenaline Rush' it read.

Adrenaline rush was right, if you could stay on long enough to get one. Jazz and I had reached an agreement a while ago on who was boss, I still have the bruises to prove it. His head was already held high and I could tell he was gonna be full of himself when we got to the ring. He'd be upset that he didn't have an audience.

I took my time brushing off Jazz's dark grey coat and tacking him with my best stuff. He pranced to the ring, giddy and excited. Good. I was in need of a challenge right now, something to take my mind off of Jared and his stupid stories that were nothing but legends. I pulled the stirrups down and climbed atop the mounting block. I already knew what was coming. Before he could bolt, I placed my left foot in the stirrup, swung my right leg over, and put a tight hold on the reins. Jazz was _not_ happy. He made it known by bucking all over the ring. It was going to be a long ride.

An hour and a half later, Jazz was finally tired and I was ready to drop dead. I had managed to stay on and get some hardcore training in and my body was feeling it. I was barely paying attention as I walked Jazz back into the barn, heading for his stall. I only noticed Jared when he cleared his throat; I nearly jumped out of my skin. He had a habit of doing that to me. "Jared! What the hell is wrong with you?!" I shrieked. Yes, I am ashamed to say, I shrieked. He looked angry. Good. I hate him.

"Well, since you don't believe me, Sam said I have to show you."

"Wait a minute, Sam is in on this?" I asked.

''Of course! He's the alpha, I told you that!" There was absolute truth burning behind his words, something that was hard to ignore. Goddammit. Before I had time to protest, Jared bounded across the aisle and threw me over his shoulder. Oh, that did it. "Jared Taylor, you put me down this instant, you insufferable, arrogant, conceited, cocky, self-important son-of-a-bitch!" I nearly screamed. He brought me out of the aisle and past the row of turn-outs, to the edge of the forest line.

"Now, I can guarantee that you're tired and want to go home, so if you can just listen to me and let me show you before coming to _uneducated_ conclusions, then we can get passed this and I can tell you why, out of all of the girls in the whole of the world and beyond, you get to know this." The 'uneducated conclusions' part pissed me off... more than I already was. I crossed my arms and raised my chin, indignant.

"Fine, you want to make an idiot of yourself, Jared, go right the fuck ahead, but so help me God, if this is some sort of joke, you're going to need a lawyer."

" Fine," he said, looking relieved, "but you're going to be eating your words. Now, don't move," he said, almost excitedly, jogging into the tree line while taking his shirt off.

"You have 20 seconds!" I yelled after him, making sure he knew that I would not sit here and wait for any significant amount of time for him.

...12, 13, 14, 15- I finished counting when a huge figure, the size of a bear, with shaggy, deep brown fur came walking slowly out of the forest edge. I almost lost my composure. This creature. Huge. And walking towards me. He was horse sized, I laughed at that. Only I would compare a freaking bear to a horse. I wasn't worried about his size. I was worried about the canines sticking out of his muzzle. Those were freaky.

The wolf, I guess it was- judging from the shape of his head, took my laugh as a queue to come a little closer. His tongue lolled out his mouth and he took a tentative step forward. He looked like an old dog I had, Spanky, with his ligh fur. I was comforted by my association and I took a step forward as well. The wolf, now fifteen feet away, bounded over to me and stuck his nuzzle under my hand, asking to be pet.

I could believe in this creature, but I could not believe he was Jared. Something about his animalistic behavior was making him a comfort to me but I still couldn't find Jared in the huge wolf. I looked at his face and his features; the sharp nose, the intimidating canine teeth, the dark fur. I finally met his eyes, really looking deep into them, and I could finally see something in them that made me realize that this was really Jared. They were far too intelligent to be animals; they were kind, like a horses, but held a certain all-knowing presence. It snapped something within me, and I felt the need to talk with him... if this was actually him.

"Go... be a human again," I said, not quite sure how to phrase it. He turned too quickly for my eyes to see and was gone before I could blink. I waited patiently again for him and he came out of the woods a few seconds later. His head was lost in his shirt and he was stumbling blindly over to me. It was comical to watch him, just a normal teenage boy, with such a huge secret. If the legends were accurate, he also had a huge responsibility.

"Told you you'd be eating your words," he grinned down at me. I was still trying to gasp the situation with little success. "You're right, I owe you an apology, and I'm sorry, Jared. I guess it was just so ridiculous and I know how you and your friends like to make fun of people so I jumped to the wrong conclusion," I responded, trying to sound genuine; even when I was, it always came out wrong.

"I understand," he said, taking my hand and leading me back into the barn. "I know how it sounds, and I knew it was going to be difficult, I just figured I would come right out and say it and then I would show you."

"I need you to tell me more, help me understand better. It still seems that wolf and you aren't connected."

"Okay, well you can feel my skin, right? Wolves run at a toasty 108, 109 degrees," he said, holding up his hand, still linked with mine. "And we can run really fast, and we have amazing sight and hearing. It's really incredible, Kim. And the fighting is great for my youngin' self," he was getting really excited now. "Oh! And we can phase at any time, like, just 'poof' and I can turn into a giant fur ball!" He said, throwing his free hand up for emphasis. "As you can see, I have a fantastic body, not to be cocky or anything, but freaking _look at me_! And that's not even the best part! But we'll get to that later. Patrols suck, but running is fun. Sometimes it feels like I just want to explode and I can't keep myself under control, but keeping calm has become easier. Oh! And when we're all wolves, we can read each others minds, which made for a very awkward couple of weeks..." he babbled.

Silence...

"Any questions?"

"...The fighting?"

"... Well, that's the reason we exist, you heard the stories. 'The Cold Ones'…vampires."

"...Vampires." This wasn't making sense at all. Giant wolves, vampires, what was next? Witches and fairies? _Where the hell was I_?

"I know, weird right, I was like '_what the fuck?!_ ' when I first phased, but since I could see inside Sam's head, it was much easier to believe after I had calmed down. It only took me three days..." he said the end sarcastically.

It was hard to take all of this in, but I felt like I knew more and that was comforting to me. I liked knowing everything about everything. It was a slight draw back, but helped me keep myself on the ground. Information was like oxygen, I needed obsessive amounts of it to function. Whatever, it makes me good at school.

"Now, I have to tell you why, you, dearest Kim, get to know all of this," He said. We were now in the aisle and Jazz was waiting patiently for me at the cross ties, ready to be brushed off and put back in his stall. Jared slid down the wall next to me and watched me for a few moments, waiting for a response.

"Why do I get to know?" I asked cautiously, almost afraid of the answer.

"Well, us wolves have this imprinting thing going on, like Taha Aki's third wife. I could live forever if I wanted to, our bodies don't age if we keep phasing, that's why Taha Aki was able to outlive his first two wives, but I have been lucky enough to find my 'third wife' so to speak. It's called imprinting, like I said."

What does that even mean?

"...And you're my imprint..." My thoughts didn't even know where to start.

"I'm not explaining it right. It's like _you're_ the imprint, like a stamp, I guess, forever claiming me. I'm yours, totally and completely, one-hundred-percent Jared is all for you, Kim. When I looked in your eyes in AP US, It was like you just took this huge rubber stamp that said 'Kimberly Morgan's' and that was it." More babbling. More information. Feeling better.

"What do you mean you're all mine?"

"Well I can be whoever you want me to be, a brother, a friend, a confidant... or more. I'm your personal, well, person; I'm completely attached to you. I think you're beautiful, I think you're smart, I think you have a set of balls that are bigger than mine, and I think you should give me a shot. Remember, I'm form fitted to you, so even if I didn't want to, I couldn't stay away from you. But I don't. I want to be right here with you, I want to learn all there is to Kimberly Morgan, and I want you to want the same thing." He said, looking up at me. I could almost feel the confidence building in his voice.

A friend, a brother, a confidant, or more... He's all mine, I could be all of his. He wants to know everything about me, more information, like oxygen, for him. He wants to be here. He's forced to be here. He doesn't get a choice. That's not fair.

"But you're forced, in a way; you have no choice but to need to be here?"

"Yes, and I wouldn't have it any other way."_ He wants to be here more than he's forced_, I told my self, justifying wanting to love him back-being selfish and accepting him being here, instead of letting him go and pushing him away, making him see reason like I should; going against believing in falling in love, not being forced into it. I wanted him to be here, I wanted him to be a brother, a friend, a confidant... and more.

________________________________________________________________

_"I can't remember when the earth turned slowly, so I just waited till the lights come on again, I lost my place but I can't stop this story. I'll find my way but until then I'm only spinning."_

My phone went off loudly on the night stand next to me. I groaned lightly and stretched my arms above my head before getting out of bed. It was my day off but my dad was coming for dinner, like he did every other Sunday, to check up on me. I checked the clock: 9:30. It usually wasn't a problem to wake up but Jared and I didn't go home until around three in the morning.

I fully understand this werewolf thing now. I knew what happened to Emily and how the wolves themselves didn't necessarily dislike what they were, but they didn't want the same fate for their friends. Jared and I talked for three hours in the barn and he walked me home. He kissed my forehead when we reached the door and said he'd see me tomorrow.

I walked around my bed and jumped when I saw Jared spread eagle on the floor, snoring lightly. It's a wonder I didn't hear him before, since I usually sleep in a very quiet house alone. He still looked tired so I didn't wake him. I skirted around his body and he twitched slightly but didn't move otherwise.

He looked peaceful, younger than his recently acquired twenty-something. He looked like a normal seventeen-year old boy... except the massive body.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt from the oak dresser that Jared was in front of, making it hard to open the draws while leaning over him. I looked at his face again, still peaceful. I swear I could watch him sleep all day. It was like being able to observe him at his most vulnerable, when the carefree smile and the loud laugh took a rest. He didn't look so tough and rugged like he usually did. I was lost in my daze of openly staring at his face that I almost tipped the dresser onto him. _Snap out of it! _

God I was becoming one of those girls, you know, the ones that have their hearts turned to puddles when they look in their boyfriends eyes and think everyone should eat rainbows and poop butterflies and say 'Thats Hot!' or 'OhEmGee'. I hate those girls.

It was hard to wrap my head around the imprinting thing. Jared had explained it thoroughly, don't get me wrong, but I had never had a boyfriend. My horses were always enough for me. And now, someone was in love with me, when we had only first spoken to each other six days ago. I tried not to focus on that. I also tried not to focus on the part that Jared didn't have a choice in this. I felt bad, here I was, 'well just look in my eyes now and I'm going to take away all of your time and effort because I'm your stupid imprint'.

I was scared too. Not for me, but for Jared. How was he coping with this? He had patrols in three hour shifts, sometimes four shifts in one day. And school? How was he going to keep his grades? He was only three weeks into this whole thing and now he had to deal with me as well? And don't even get me started on the vampires. I nearly passed out (because passing out is much more acceptable, in my book, than fainting) when he told me about the stupid leeches; yeah I hated them now... I didn't even know any of these vampires but I hated that they were the reason Jared had to exist as a werewolf. I hated that they took away his choices.

At the same time, life was offering me an 'out' so to say. I held Jared's heart and soul in my hands. He adores everything about me so there is no pressure to have to be what he wants or needs me to be anymore. I can be me, and that's what he is form-fitted to. Just me. That was a good feeling.

I had to, quite literarily, shove Jared out the door after breakfast. He finally woke around 11:30, smelling the lasagna I was making for Dad's Sunday visit. I had made three dozen chocolate-chip pancakes (his favorite breakfast food, as discussed last night) and refused to let them go to waste. I told him I would save some lasagna; it usually got thrown out at the end of the week anyway.

It turned out that he had to fill in for Embry for three hours last night, not that there was much action for any of them... yet. He just happened to be in the vicinity of my house when Paul phased to relieve him and decided he was too tired to go all the way to the other side of the rez., not that its more than a mile walk, and he wanted to check on me. I told him we have a guest bedroom, fully stocked. He said he felt safer when he was closer to me and didn't mind sleeping on the floor.

Everything had to be in tip-top shape, as usual, for Dad. The Lasagna was baking in the oven, the salad was in the fridge, I made iced tea and brought out a bottle of my dads favorite Port Wine. I made all of his favorites, not that my dad needed to be buttered up, but I only saw him once every two weeks and I'm pretty sure it's the only home cooked meal he gets. I put an easy listening CD on and went up stairs to change.

After settling on a turquoise baby-doll top, a pair of skinny black slacks, and ballet flats, I settled on the couch to read. I heard a knock at the door only a few minutes later. A pimply faced guy around my age was standing there with a bouquet of flowers.

"Um Miss. Kimberly Morgan?" he asked.

"Yes."

"These are from a Mr. Jared Taylor."

"Oh, thank you." I said grabbing the flowers from him and handing him five dollars from the side table.

The flowers were gorgeous. He remembered that my favorite flowers are Dahlias and he had them in every color. I smiled at the thought of him calling the florist and asking for Dahlia's. It's not like they were roses or lilies, easy and affordable. There was a small card that read "I love chocolate-chip pancakes, you love Dahlias." Well, I don't think it's necessary to say SA-WOON.

**A/N: So? So? So? What are you thinking? I know how you can tell me! They're called reviews and you see that button down there, click it and tell me what you think, please! :) **

**what Kim's wearing... **

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	5. I'm Okay

**A/N: Hey guys! Again, thank you to all who review/favorite/subscribe; you're awesome! This chapter is sort of a mental breakdown, and it's a little intense. It's all over the place too with the switching of POV's so I'm sorry and it won't happen again but... I like it this way. My favorite wolf to the rescue! Please, if you favorite, REVIEW! I really appreciate it. It makes my day! Okay, no more stalling :)**

"What makes you think you are invincible? I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure." -Secondhand Serenade, Vulnerable

KPOV

I walked my dad to the door and kissed him goodnight, pleased at his acceptance of the meal and the house that he had left in my care. I felt a small weight lift off my shoulders as soon as he pulled out of the driveway. It was releiving to not have to find something to talk about while simultaneously ignoring the big purple elephant of my mothers death in the room. I checked everything over - the stove, the oven, the oil burner, etc. and made my way to my room to change into a pair of sweats and a tee shirt.

I slipped into the master bedroom quietly and grabbed the blue quilted blanket from the closet. The one that was drenched in her smell. I held it close and walked quietly back down the hall and into the pale yellow room, filled with her art, her perfume, her aura; just filled with all that was my mother. I don't visit the grave, only on the anniversary and to keep up the plants. I come into her studio. That's where she is, where I feel her the most.

"Hey, Mom," I whispered, as I slid down the wall next to the door. When she would come in here to paint I would sit against this wall, in the same spot, and watch her paint for hours. "I miss you. I had a good week. Remember that AP Chem. test I told you I was nervous about? Well I got an eighty. I just don't understand electrochemistry. It's okay, I still have an A, I promise. I know you want to know about Jared, but I think I need a little more time to catch my breathe about the whole thing. I'll come back tomorrow. I have to check the gallery. Mr. Peters keeps asking me for more pieces but I don't want to give anything to him. It's yours, Mom, I feel like I never give him the stuff that you would have wanted to put there. Mina's okay. She has a new crush, Jared's friend, Paul. He's okay, got a bit of a temper, but other than that, they're good for each other. I saved a lot this week in groceries. I had time to cut, like, a zillion coupons. You'd be proud," I smiled.

"Dad's okay. He landed a really big case. I don't think he's happy." Cue breakdown. "I'm so sorry Mom. I try, really I do. I try to say something every Sunday but I just don't have the words. I'm such a horrible daughter," I whispered brokenly. Cue tears. "I wish you were here. Why did you leave? You didn't deserve it!" Cue Anger. I wrapped myself in the blanket and started sobbing, like every Sunday at 8:09 pm. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm so sorry. I miss you." I repeated like a mantra. My heart ached the familiar dull ache and I couldn't breathe for a minute.

I was so wrapped up in my self pitying that I didn't notice the door open to my left. I did feel arms move me into a warm lap. I knew who it was immediately. "I'm okay, Jared. I'm fine. Just-just-I'm fine." I sobbed against his chest.

I wasn't okay, I knew that, but he didn't have to. I could feel that I was making his naked chest wet. I was making a mess. I tried to pull back but his arms just held stronger. I cried harder. I wish my Mom was here to hold me. I wish I wasn't such a weakling. I wish I could just get over it. My mom died, I should have just mourned and moved on, but I was stuck in the fact that I not only had no mother but that I was failing at keeping my dad happy - something that I should have stepped up to. I was so lost in my own pity-party that I was being inconsiderate to my dad. Why couldn't get over myself? I cried harder.

"Jared, please," I sobbed, "I'm fine, I'm okay. You don't have to stay here with me. I'm being weak," I cried.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kim." He kissed the top of my head and held me closer. It felt good. Good enough for the broken side of my heart to stop throbbing so incessantly. I sat in Jared's arms for what felt like hours, reveling in the warmth that I was such a comfort I began to cry again. It felt good to stop trying to hold myself together and let someone else take the burden just this one Sunday night. I was emotionally exhausted and I let sleep painfully take me into its deep waters.

"If ever your will starts crashing down, whenever your will starts crashing down, that's where you'll find me" -OneRepublic, All Fall Down

JPOV

I should thank her for letting me sleep in her house - not that she knew I was, but for not freaking out when she found out - and for the pancakes. I don't think flowers convey enough gratitude. Now, if we're talking on a completely honest basis, I really just want an excuse to see her. I jumped out of my window and phased quickly, grabbing a pair of pants from under the window. I phased back right before I hit her driveway and started walking up the dirt road.

I could hear her as soon as I hit the mailbox and sprinted the rest of the drive, nearly a half-mile. She was sobbing, it sounded like. The most heartbreaking sound I'd ever heard. I didn't bother knocking. We didn't have time for courtesy if she was in trouble. I made my way up the stairway and hesitated in opening the whitewash door where the sobs were coming from. I opened the door and my heart clenched painfully. My Kim was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, weeping. She was apologizing, for what or to whom I have no idea, but the mere sight of her in any kind of pain, much less this kind of evident pain, was enough for me to pick her up and set her in my lap. She didn't startle or scream, she just cried harder.

I didn't know what wrong but it was killing me. I was finding it hard to breathe. "I'm okay, Jared. I'm fine. Just-just-I'm fine," she sobbed. I didn't know what she was talking about but if she thought I was moving, she was wrong. I could feel her tears on my skin. Her pain was almost tangible. It was coming off of her in currents, the next wave hitting me before I could recover from the last one. I couldn't imagine how she felt. She tried to pull away but I held stronger, knowing that what I was doing was good for her, even if she didn't know it. "Jared, please," she sobbed again, "I'm fine, I'm okay. You don't have to stay here with me. I'm being weak," she cried even harder.

I still didn't know what was wrong but I knew that my Kim was _not_ a weak person. I did know she was being too hard on herself. All of the words that flooded my mind at that moment seemed inadequate so I didn't say any of them. "I'm not going anywhere," I whispered and kissed her head before I could help myself. She relaxed but kept up a steady flow of tears.

Eventually her breathing evened out and she relaxed completely against me. She was hot; I could feel the combined heat of the blanket and me now engulfing her. I removed the blanket, trying not to jostle her, and picked her up. I placed her on top of her lavender bed and I lay next to her. I stayed awake for another hour but the rhythm of her even breathing made my eyelids heavy. I was hoping she was having happy dreams. The ones that made you smile in your sleep and hit the snooze button a few times in the morning to try and keep up the feeling. I knew it was a far stretch, seeing as how she was crying her heart out just a few hours ago.

I assumed the room with the white wash door was her mother's room. It was covered in beautiful works of art and supplies everywhere. I couldn't figure out why she was saying she was sorry, though. I could understand 'I miss you' but not 'I'm sorry'. I was burning with curiosity, among other feelings - sadness, exhaustion, worry - but I was getting more tired by the second. I let sleep take me, ecstatic that Kim was in my arms, if not completely happy but safe.

"But you really need to listen to me, because I'm telling you the truth. I mean this, I'm Okay, trust me...I'm not okay." -My Chemical Romance, I'm Okay

KPOV

I woke up half sprawled across Jared's chest as the memories of last night came flooding back quite unpleasantly. My head was situated perfectly on his shoulder and my arm was resting on his abdomen, my right leg hanging over his. His right hand was tangled in my hair and left hand was entwined with mine. My lavender bedding was all over the room and I could care less right now because my body was perfectly warm with the heat that Jared was radiating.

I didn't want to move, not even a little, but there was no way I was going back to sleep. We had probably fallen asleep sometime around nine last night and it was 4:30 in the morning right now. My body was perfectly attuned to my rigid schedule. I detangled myself from Jared quickly and padded my way down the hall and into the shower.

I took my time and let myself wander back to last night. I hadn't wanted him to see my like that - so vulnerable. It wasn't weird at all to have been connected to him like that, not when I needed it nor when I had woken up this morning. It felt… right? Yes, it had felt like he was a part of me that I knew. It was like when I had Mina for a sleepover, we always slept in the same bed and we knew what to expect in the morning - Mina to be sprawled diagonally across the bed, me to be curled up in a ball in the small amount of space that she didn't occupy. It felt like it was expected that we were to be tangled together.

I finished up in the shower and stepped lightly down the stairs to the laundry room where I had a fresh batch of clothes in the dryer. I dressed quickly and went into the kitchen. I was early; it was only 5:30, so I used my time to make ten scrambled eggs, eight pieces of toast, two glasses of orange juice, a pound of bacon and three muffins. I knew to be prepared at this point with Jared's eating habits. I could tell he wasn't much of a Raisin Bran kind of guy anyway.

It was 6:00 now and I just decided to let my hair dry and wake Jared up a little more nicely than with the loud blow dryer. I walked lightly back up the steps and into my room. Jared was still spread across the bed; he barely fit on it even though it was a queen sized mattress. I leaned over the bed and whispered into his ear, "Jared, time to wake up, I have breakfast." He groaned lightly in response.

"Oh, come on. I have eggs and bacon and banana nut muffins..." I whispered again.

"Alright, I'm up, jeez." He didn't open his eyes. He did, however, wrap his arms around me and pull me on top of him. "Good morning, sunshine," he said as he kissed my cheek lightly.

"There is nothing good about Monday morning, Jared," I laughed.

"Yes there is, actually. This particular morning, I happen to have been awoken by not only the delicious smell of breakfast but I also have the most beautiful girl in the world in my arms," he smiled. He really was just too sweet. It was horrible, criminal even, for him to be so happy. I giggled (yes, giggled) and kissed his cheek this time. I grabbed his hand then and yanked him or, more accurately, attempted to yank him, out of bed.

He followed me down the stairs, his hand still in mine and whimpered as he caught sight of the buffet in the kitchen. I smiled at his enthusiasm and lead him over to a chair.

"You're a goddess and I've gone to heaven, right? I mean, this is incredible. What time did you get up? This had to have taken, like, three hours," he looked admiringly at the huge amount of food that I had already piled on his plate.

"I got up at 4:30 and no, I am not a goddess, nor is this heaven because we have school in like an hour and you need to go home and shower and change. So hurry up and eat." I didn't need to tell him twice and he dug in, nearly inhaling all of his food in ten minutes.

Jared apparently didn't have any clothes, which meant that he had to walk out of my house in a pair of boxers and one of my dad's old shirts that was _way_ too tight. I would have preferred it if I could just see the beautifully ripped muscles naked. He walked over to the driver side of The Beast and motioned for the keys.

"Absolutely not! She is mine and no one can drive her but me, not even Mina."

"Please?" He did the puppy dog eyes and the pouty lips and I almost caved… but then I remembered that my truck was my baby and I shook my head again.

"No way! You can walk home and I won't give you the lunch I brought for you." He scowled but slid into the passenger seat anyway and I just smiled innocently at him.

We made our way to his house where I could hear him being ripped a new one for ten minutes straight at a pitch that probably would have shattered my eardrums had I not been outside in the driveway. I wanted to come in but Jared said it was probably not a good idea considering he was probably in a boat load of trouble. So when he came out fully clothed I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"I'm sor-"

"It's not your fault, she's been a little crazy lately… and the added stress of her not knowing when I'll be home or when I'll be going to school is putting a toll on us both," he said. He was unhappy and I felt the urge to smooth out the wrinkles of his face that were pulled together in a small frown. He recovered quickly and looked at me with a new seriousness.

"Are you okay…about last night, I mean? If I intruded, I didn't mean to and I just heard-"

"It's okay; it happens every Sunday after I see my dad… or if I have a bad day. I know it's stupid and childish but it helps a little," I tired to explain it to him. I was grateful that he had come last night. It felt good and my body felt stronger than it normally did on Mondays. "Thank you, by the way. You didn't have to do that."

"I know, but I wanted to. And it's not stupid or childish, it's mature. You can grieve healthily, I respect that. I wish it didn't hurt you as much, though. Oh, why were you apologizing?" His question was tough; I didn't know how to answer in a way that he would understand. We were in the school parking lot now but neither of us had to be into homeroom until 8:00.

"Well, my dad doesn't live with me really - don't tell anyone - and I'm pretty sure it's my fault that he is a workaholic. I want to help him, make him deal with it - not that I'm dealing with it appropriately myself - but I don't know how. I don't know how to tell him that I miss him - the old him that used to be so much…happier. He's all emotionless now, I can't seem to find the words, though, and my mom would be disappointed. But I'm just being a baby, don't listen to me."

I hadn't meant to let myself say those things, let him know how inept I was at holding a relationship with my own father, how I thought my mother would be so disappointed in me, how that disappointment hurt like hell. I tried to downplay it but he already had the gist of what I was saying and how deeply it effected me.

"You're not a disappointment. You're doing what you can, and I'm confident that you'll figure it out, okay? Don't be so hard on yourself, just relax and let it not matter for a little while."

"Don't you see though, that's my problem, I should be able to freaking step up and be there. I should be able to be the bigger person. I tell myself that I'm responsible and that I'm mature but here I am hiding from everyone and everything, including my father."

"That's not irresponsibility or immaturity, it's grief, and it's allowed. It's healthy and its part of being a human. Everyone knows that you're strong, no one doubts you. Listen to what I'm saying; you need to relax about it. Stressing out about something that is out of your control is immature, that's irresponsible. If you need to cry, then cry, if you need to scream, then scream, if you need to throw yourself off of a fifty - foot cliff, then by all means…but don't do it without me 'cause the rip tide will take you under," he smiled at me.

It was oddly… helpful. He wasn't full of shit, which was more than I could say about everyone else. I let the words sink in, _'it's grief and it's allowed'_. I liked that. I lifted my head from its previous place on the steering wheel and leaned over to press my lips lightly to his cheek. It felt natural so I lingered a little longer and his breath hitched. We hopped out and he grabbed my hand as we walked through the pouring rain together.

**A/N: You see that button down there... no, not that one - yes! That one, the one that says 'review'. Click it! K, thanks 3 **


	6. Weightless

**A/N: So there's like 1580 references to movies/books/TV shows and a lot of this stuff I'm realizing I might have pulled from memory and it's a bit fluffy. But I like it. Read and reveiw? Kay, thanks :)**

"I wanna be reckless, wanna live it up just because, I wanna feel weightless 'cause that would be enough." -All Time Low, Weightless

KPOV

"Go out with me this Friday." It wasn't a question; it was a statement, cement in its meaning.

"The last time you invited me somewhere I had to watch you and four other large males ingest ridiculous amounts of food, get all hopeful that you were going to kiss me only for you to tell me some _werewolf_ story, _and_ I almost broke my hand. Why the hell would I go out with you again?"

Jared and I were sitting on my back porch eating Chinese food and watching the sunset… it was all very cliché. Chinese food and sunsets, I mean. He was sitting right next to me, his feet propped up on the small table in front of us. His extremely hot leg was touching mine and every time he shifted to reach for food or laughed or just moved any part of his body, I felt my skin tingle even with the two layers of clothing in between us.

"I'm serious, I want to go out this Friday and I want to have _fun_. I can't remember the last time I had some real kick ass, tear the walls down, screaming, yelling, kicking _fun_!" He was gesturing with a carton of beef and broccoli in his hands which promptly went flying all over the place as he made his point.

"You used a lot of adjectives that really aren't adjectives in that sentence..." "Stop avoiding the question! I want to go out! And you are coming with me. I asked nicely and now you have no choice. We are going to have _fun_."

"Okay, Mr. Fun-Pants, what is it that you would like to actually do for fun?"

"I want to… go to the beach! And have a party and get totally irresponsibly wasted and jump in the freezing cold water 'cause some jackass dared me to and I want to spike the non-alcoholic drinks just to be an asshole and I _really_ want to go cliff diving. Yes! We'll go cliff diving! And we can get really good food and make an awesome bonfire and play stupid games like 'charades' and 'Never Have I Ever'. Oh my God! I just remembered! That opening summer carnival in Port Angeles! Yes we'll do that too!" He was on top of the world now and I smiled at his child like attitude. He seemed to notice me then and his excited state grew a little. "You wanna do that right? You wanna have fun with me and do stupid things, too, right?"

"Yeah, I want to do stupid things with you. And yes I'll go out with you on Friday."

"Good. 'Cause like I said, _you_ no longer have a choice."

I was utterly amused at how Jared's mind worked. He rambled and made sense all at the same time. We could banter back and forth for hours and then he could say something serious and it would tilt my world upside down for a minute.

He was everything I wasn't - funny, personable, warm, infectious. I wanted to be around him all the time. He knew when to be quiet and he knew when to joke. He was perfect. We were fun together, even Mina noticed it. I smiled more often and it wasn't the fake 'I don't actually like you but I'm going to appease you because it might benefit me later' smile. It was the 'I'm happy so lets party and spread it around' smile.

I was hella confused, though. I had no idea what Jared and I were. I'm assuming we just left it up for grabs the night of the bonfire. It's not like I've been able to get rid of him; he comes home from patrol and usually slips into bed next to me or ends up somewhere in my house. He's with me every possible second in school and when he can't come to school, I'm always thinking of him anyway.

I would have thought him being in my house would be incredibly weird, since I haven't lived with someone for three years, but it wasn't. I could barely remember going to bed with the covers on even though I did just last week. It was easy as breathing - making three times the amount of food for dinner every night, printing out two sets of homework and changing the answers for his so he wouldn't fail out of school, leaving notes for him around the house when he couldn't call me. It was like everything I imagined my relationship with 'Dream Jared' to be was what it was with real Jared.

We hadn't actually gone out since he asked me to the bonfire and that was kind of a disaster. I didn't know how to _go out_. _What does that even mean?_ I was so not into boys for the past three years and all of a sudden I have a Jared. I went to the same idiodic parties and I watched the same jackasses make fools of them selves as him and we drank from the same keg on the same beach but he was part of that while I just watched.

I was confused as to what I was supposed to be to him. We just kind of fell into place with each other and it was… relaxing. I had set him up in my mind so realistically that it felt like I already knew him. I loved everything about him because he was everything I wasn't.

_FRIDAY _

What the hell was I supposed to wear? I mean really, Jared wasn't very specific about what he exactly wanted to do. He just kind of word vomited all over the place about having fun. I had a general temperature range; Jared's heat was like a tropical wind surrounding me at all times in the cool La Push air, but that narrowed it down to half of my wardrobe. It felt like I had a thousand choices and nothing to wear as I looked through my closet and dresser.

I walked down the hallway and into the master bedroom, heading for the walk-in closet. I flicked on the light switch and started ruffling through my mother's racks of clothes, organized by season. There were capri pants that felt like summer and soft linen shirts, silk blouses and satin dress-pants. There were clothes of all different colors and material. Some were crazy and looked like they belonged to an artist. Others were classy and elegant and looked like they belonged to an accomplished business woman. My mother had been both and it reverberated through every aspect of her life, including her clothing.

I looked through the tie-die skirts and the silky evening gowns but could not find one thing that was even mildly appropriate. I was just about to give up when I spotted a light purple tank top in the summer section near the back of the closet. It was pleated with an emblem in the middle of the bust. I wondered where my mother would have worn it and with what. I could just imagine her at the gallery, pencil in hand and her wild mess of curls in a bun atop her head, her tongue sticking out in concentration, the beautiful purple tank top splayed out around her.

With that image, I decided that this was what I would wear matched with a pair of light washed jeans and sandals, just like my mother would have. I changed quickly, threw on some perfume and makeup, and skipped down the stairs, nervous and excited - the same feeling that I had when we went to the bonfire.

I jumped around the house, dusting this, cleaning that, organizing something else...going out with Jared should not be this unnerving. I looked myself over in the mirror the same way that I had the night of the bonfire, analyzing and assessing once again. The door opened and Jared called out, "Kim?"

"Yeah, I'm here," I replied, distractedly picking myself apart in the mirror that ran along part of the wall in the den. I could barely hear Jared's footsteps as he neared yet I could almost feel how excited he was... or maybe that was just me. He appeared in the mirror behind me suddenly and I watched as his eyes widened.

"You look...wow," he smiled that gorgeous smile at me and I turned around to look at him and get the full effect. He was wearing my favorite jeans again with a white tee-shirt and a pair of running shoes.

"Very articulate, Jared. But thank you. You're wearing my favorite jeans." I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around his waist. His arms came to rest on my back.

"These are your favorite jeans?"

"Yeah. I've dubbed them your party jeans."

"Huh. I guess I never really noticed but now that you mention it..." he trailed off. I kept my arms around him for a few more seconds, enjoying the feeling of the warm almost summer air and his warm skin. It was making me feel fuzzy.

"So where are you taking me, Mr. Fun-Pants?"

"We are going to the Port Angeles Welcome Summer Festival. Sound good?"

"Absolutely." I would have said yes to him asking me to go dig six-foot deep ditches with him if he had asked. He lead me out of the house and into his big black truck. I watched him as he pulled out, the contours of his chest as he turned around to pull out of the driveway. He was the most amazing thing to watch. No wonder I had done it obsessively for a good four years. I loved the way you could see this one big vein in his arm and I loved the way I could hear him breathe and how the muscles in his neck moved. It gave me the most peculiar feeling to observe him. It was different before, like I was looking from the outside in. Now I was on the same level and I could see with clarity who he was and how he operated.

"What are you staring at?" He glanced over to me from the main road.

"You." I answered confidently. I had caught him too many times doing the same thing to feel embarrassed.

"What do you see?"

"Happiness." It was true; he was radiating it. He looked contemplative. And then he nodded.

"That makes sense; I'm always happy with you." If he kept saying things like that, I was not going to last through the night.

We laughed and joked the whole ride after that one serious remark. It happened like that a lot. It was serious one moment and light the next. I could barely keep up but I liked it. It was distracting and focusing all at once. It wasn't planned and expected. It kept me on my toes and no matter how much I tried to tell myself that having a plan and a schedule was the better way of doing things, I really enjoyed being reckless.

The magic of a carnival was in the air. It was something about the colors and the music, the food, the smell, the people, that made you feel like a child. I couldn't tell if the feeling it was giving me was a good one or a scary one. Childhood was scary; memories of childhood were scary. But the bubbling feeling in my stomach wasn't frightening, it was liberating. It was freeing in a way that I had never experienced before. I felt younger, for some reason. Careless, almost. I liked it as much as the reckless feeling.

Jared parked a few blocks from the fair grounds and lead me excitedly to the ticket booth where he bought a ridiculously large amount of tickets.

"Is your objective to ride every ride and play every game?" I asked jokingly.

"Nope, that's yours. Mine is to win you lots of stuffed animals."

"Oh yeah? Says who?"

"_I_ am Mr. Fun-Pants! You even named me that! That means I get the job of handing out responsibilities of participants of the fun!" I had to laugh at that. He was right though, I _had_ named him Mr. Fun Pants.

"What's first, then, Mr. Fun-Pants?"

"Uhm....uh... I don't know, why don't you choose?"

"Because I'm the most indecisive person to ever live. That's why. With great power of being 'fun director' you have great responsibilities. Now lead the way." I said, very decisively (contrary to what I was saying about myself).

"Alright then, I say we head east to west and end the night with the ferris wheel, sound good?"

"Sounds great."

We headed towards the first ride, the one with the things that made you look like you were paragliding. Then we went to the one that spins you around really fast and makes you want to throw up. And then we went to the one that looks like a pirate ship that swings back and forth like a pendulum. Those were nice rides, the ones that made you feel like you were flying. That's when Jared had had enough of the fun rides; he wanted to try the one that dropped you from fifty feet in the air that continuous screams were heard coming from. I've never screamed louder in my entire life.

Then we headed towards the games, the ones that required little skill and a lot of luck. He played the one where you throw the balls at the bottles and knocked them down on the first try - shattering the _plastic_ bottles. He didn't get a stuffed animal...

We played the game that you had to squirt the water in the bulls-eye and he let me win.

"You can't do that! No cheating!"

"I wasn't _cheating_...I'm just not good at that game...that's not cheating, really." He smiled, knowing full well that he had cheated. Werewolf super powers make you good at everything. I played the game that you have to use the mallet to hit the platform and make the bell ring. I smugly handed him a stuffed bear when the bell rang clear through the air.

"Fine. My turn." He handed the ticket collector the ticket and swung the mallet forcefully. The bell _broke_. This ticket collector was much better humored this time and handed Jared two stuffed animals, one of a gigantic bear and one of small pony. He handed those to me with the same smug face I wore earlier.

"Stupid, show-offy, werewolf," I muttered and glared a little at him. He just smirked.

We played a few more games and every time he won something he handed it to me and kissed me on the cheek. It was getting harder to hold the amount of stuffed animals Jared was winning for me...it was getting harder to keep my legs from being wobbly every time he kissed my cheek. His lips would linger a few seconds longer with each successive game won. I was tempted to just pull him down and kiss him senseless, but I restrained myself...with difficulty.

I watched Jared ingest four funnel cakes, two ice cream cones and _a lot_ of fried dough. It was slightly disgusting yet oddly familiar at once. I guess you get used to that after three weeks of it.

Finally after a few more rides and a lot more games, both mine and Jared's arms were full with stuffed animals of every sort. He had even won me a fish which I affectionately named Fred. I was getting tired but I didn't want to leave. It was something about the way Jared looked at me every time he won another stuffed animal or right after a ride when his eyes were so bright his whole face glowed. I could stare at him all night when he looked like that.

Finally we stashed our merchandise in a bush and headed for the ferris wheel. Jared's hand never left mine while we boarded the cage-like contraption. My stomach plummeted as the wheel turned and we rocked back and forth. I clutched Jared's hand in a death grip, nearly jumping into his lap.

"Are you scared?" He asked, I could detect a small amount of amusement in his voice but I was too concerned with the increasing distance between us and the ground to be annoyed.

"Me? Scared? I'm not afraid of anything." Yeah, except heights, apparently. Jared wrapped an arm around me anyway and kissed my temple, sending my heart stuttering. He chuckled. Stupid werewolf hearing. We were only half-way to the top and every time the operator stopped to let someone on, the cage would rock and I would squish myself a lot closer to Jared than I thought possible. We were at the top for a long time and my eyes were closed in concentration. I was trying to think that I wasn't a zillion feet in the air and that my stomach had left itself somewhere on the ground. Jared used the hand that wasn't holding mine to run his fingers down my cheek, effectively making my eyes pop open in surprise.

"Look," he whispered and gestured to the sky where the ever present clouds had parted to reveal a full moon. It was breathtaking, absolutely gorgeous. My body instantaneously relaxed at the distraction and I pushed myself to a more appropriate proximity to Jared. I glanced at his face and he was just as mesmerized. The moon light was the only source of light this high up and it illuminated his features beautifully. He looked at me then and we were closer than we had been before, our faces only a few inches from each other.

He smiled as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. I knew what was coming and, quite honesty, I couldn't wait any longer. It had been building since I had first seen him in the mirror looking at me. I had imagined how his lips would feel, how they would taste on mine a thousand times in the span of a few hours and now I was tired of waiting. I didn't want it to be slow and filled with anticipation. I wanted him to kiss me and I wanted him to do it _now_.

"You have something on your shirt," I said, and I pulled myself a little closer to him. I made like I was going to wipe it off with my thumb but I grabbed hold of his shirt at the last minute and pulled him towards me. It happened fast, just the way I wanted it to. I brought him to my eye level and glanced at him, then my lips were on his. It took him a second to respond but he did. And my God when he did I could almost feel myself being lifted into another world - utterly and completely weightless. He moved his lips against mine and I instinctively pushed myself closer. His hands were everywhere, they were cupping my face and then they were on my neck and then they were in my hair all at once. It was intoxicating having him closer than ever before.

That pesky need to breathe got in the way eventually and I had to pull back a little. He rested his forehead on mine and I caught the light in his eyes. I laughed, I couldn't help it. I was filled with happiness and I just felt the need to laugh. Jared laughed too.

"I don't know why I'm laughing but I'm just happy," I giggled.

"I feel the same way," he laughed back. And then he kissed me again. And again. And i felt like flying. The feel his hands on me everywhere pulled something deep in me, straight out of my body that had been waiting to be released.

I didn't know what it was, maybe it was the imprint thing at work, but I felt like I was floating. I was no longer held tight by my plans and security and insignificant control over everything. I could feel myself detaching from a feeling of protection that came with the expected and the ordinary. It had started with Jared and it was ending with him now. My best laid plans, the ones that were thought out and practiced, executed precisely, were no longer important; they weren't holding me tight to my spot, Jared was.

It was transitional. I could feel it when he said my name, I could feel it when he hugged me, and I could feel it now with him kissing me. It was over though, the stripping away of my old ways was over, this was a new feeling that I wouldn't get rid of. I didn't need to control, to plan, to organize, to methodically and systematically lay out everything.

I was liberated. I was losing all control and it was the most wonderful feeling ever, for once.

**A/N: There's a link to what Kim's wearing in this chapter, check the pro, please. If it doesn't work... sorry. Okay. Reveiw? Maybe? :) **


	7. Here In Your Arms

**A/N: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff. I felt like writing fluff, obviously. Don't hate, please. To all that reviewed/favorited THANK YOU! :)**

**PS: I haven't been doing this lately (I think I did it in the first chapter) but I disclaim. Everything belongs to SM, but my characters are mine and I like them so don't steal, please. **

_"I fell in love, in love with you suddenly. Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms." -Hellogoodbye, Here In Your Arms_

JPOV

_Dude, you need to stop thinking about her, you're killing me, _Paul thought.

_Sorry, man. You know I can't help it._

Paul and I were running the midnight patrol and not being in bed next to Kim was... exhausting. That pulling sensation in my chest whenever I wasn't around her on top of running for six hours straight was tiring me out big time.

_Alright, guys, head home and get some sleep_, _sorry_ _I was late, _Sam came to relieve us, thank God. I wasn't too upset though. I could see snippets of him and Emily fighting earlier threading through his every thought.

I headed straight for Kim's, not even stopping by my own house. I felt bad, not seeing my Mom or Dad, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I would feel if I didn't have my Kim next to me at night. I phased quickly and grabbed a pair of shorts that were under Kim's window. I jumped into the tree and opened her window noiselessly, sliding in easily and closing the window behind me.

I turned around, expecting her to be in bed, sleeping peacefully. But she wasn't. She was sitting against the headboard, knees drawn to her chest, dark eyes fixed directly on me. The bed was completely made; she hadn't slept at all since I had left at six after dinner.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Was my first question.

"Who are you, my father?" She snapped. I've seen her be nasty when she needed to be. But having it directed at me was another matter entirely.

"What's wrong?"

"You're late. You're not supposed to be late _ever_. Do you know how worried I was?" No, I hadn't realized she would be so upset about me being a total of fifteen minutes late.

"Why were you worried? And you never answered my question, why aren't you sleeping? Do you know how late it is? Don't act like you're not tired; I know you are," I rattled, off. I couldn't understand why she was worried or why she wasn't _sleeping! _I climbed into the bed next to her and attempted to kiss away what ever was worrying her but she wasn't having any of it.

"Jared Michael Taylor! Do not try to get away with that! You can't do that to me! I don't think you realize how many images of you bloody and dyeing with some..._vampire_ over you have been running through my mind. I just...don't do that again, okay? Make sure you're on time, please." I hadn't realized the extent to which she worried about this."Yeah, okay. I'm sorry I made you worry. If it makes you feel any better, it wasn't my fault."

"Whose fault was it?"

"Sam's...and Emily's, technically. They were fighting and he didn't want to leave whatever it was unresolved."

"Oh. Okay, turn around, I want to get my PJ's on." I noticed that she was fully clothed, pants, shoes, shirt and all. And that's when I felt absolutely horrible. Worse than horrible. She had been doing the school work of two, cooking for two, add worrying about me and she was sure to be exhausted.

"Come here," I told her as soon as she was done. She complied and walked over to where I was sitting on the edge of the bed. I wrapped my arms around her torso, feeling the muscles contract and her breathing hitch. I smiled into her shirt as she wrapped her arms around my neck, now standing between my legs.

"I'm sorry I scared you." I whispered.

"I forgive you. I hope you realize that if it were anyone but you I'd make them grovel for forgiveness and not talk to them for a week. But you are Jared and you have super ears so you know that my heart rate just about reached a deadly state and I can hardly breathe and that you are forgiven because you have that effect on me." God she was perfect.

"Yeah, I know you forgive me, but that doesn't mean I still don't feel bad." She untangled her arms from around my neck and threaded her hands into my hair. That sent every nerve there on fire and I had to hold back whatever was about to come out of my mouth. She held me solidly and brought her lips to mine in a sincere, light kiss. I wasn't having any of that so I deepened it and she responded immediately, parting her lips a little. I traced them both with my tongue and she pushed a little harder, the need to be close coloring every move. I pushed even harder and when she met me I just about lost it. I explored every part of her, reveling in the sweet, icy feeling around me. I had to pull back because I needed to breathe and rested my forehead on hers, my arms still securely around her waist. That was our first... really _intimate_ kiss. Ususally it was just small pecks, little chaste snippits. This was a full on, mind blowing, _kiss_.

"That was..."

"Yeah, I know," I finished for her. And then I kissed her again. I couldn't help it. Really, I couldn't. I definitely just discovered my favorite pass time. Not that we had that much time to pass; it was already half past midnight and I could feel every kiss getting less and less enthusiastic.

"You need to go to bed," I whispered.

"Mhm, whatever you say," she said and then kissed me again. She wasn't going to give in that easily. If there was one thing I learned about her in the three weeks that we had been spending every waking moment possible together, it was that she was undeniably stubborn. About everything. Even if it didn't make sense and there was another way to do something, she stuck to her guns like superglue. It turned me on, regrettably. So when she didn't stop kissing me, I knew my battle was already lost.

She trailed her lips up my cheek and to my ear and whispered, "Okay, we can go to bed now."

"Yeah, that's probably in our best interest," I said back, taking advantage of her exposed neck and nuzzling it. That sent her heart rate flying again.

"Or not," was her response.

"Mhm, whatever you say." I copy-catted her reply earlier. She untangled her hands from my hair and ran them along my shoulders, leaving a trail of goosebumps along my skin. I breathed in heavily at the sensation and I could practically feel the smirk forming on her lips. Her hands were not tiny, small yes, but not tiny. And they were strong. They should have been ineffectual and cold, but hey were white hot against my skin and instantly began messaging away the knots and tension. She trailed them over my neck and back, kneading and rolling, easing away every worry.

"You're going to put me to sleep," I said groggily. It was true, she was relaxing me that much.

"Good, you need some sleep. You're working too hard. I'm going to have to call Sam and tell him to lay off."

"Mhm. You do that. You're very intimidating. All five-foot-three of you."

"Yep. I have this brand new whip I just bought. A crow bar on my side wouldn't hurt either. I'm very good at acquiring leverage."

"You probably have Paul and I on your side as well. We're both dead tired."

"Poor Paul doesn't even have anyone to rub his shoulders for him."

"Yeah he finds his tension release in... other ways." I left out the part about him screwing everything with a skirt and a pair of legs. She didn't need to know about that. Her hands became lighter, tired at the effort of battling with werewolf muscles. Her head dropped to my shoulder, my arms now the only thing holder her up. I didn't need to ask, I lifted her easily onto the bead and laid next to her. Encircling her body with my arms as her went around my neck as she placed her head on her favorite cushion - my chest.

It was perfect, that place, the one where we stayed in eachothers arms. We had many different ways of being comfortable. Sometimes she would have her head on my stomach, perpendicular to me. I liked it that way because I got to study her face more intricately. Sometimes she would just hold my hand while she slept a few feet away. I didn't like that one as much. Most of the time she was in my arms, one way or another, ending up tangled in each other. That was my favorite way to wake up - surrounded by everything Kim. In her arms, her embrace, her aura. It was like she had an orbit all of her own that I was so happily a part of.

The most accurate analogy I could come up with was the Sun and the Earth. She was my Sun, without her I couldn't exist. I was her earth, a part of her gravity and space but not necessary for her. I was lucky to have a Sun. She just got something to have floating around her. So that was why laying in her arms was my favorite place to be - I was completely captivated by her.

I wanted each and every one of them. The Bull Mastiff puppy with the tan fur and black face was calling to me. I was still holding onto the black, white, and brown Australian Sheppard, however. The spotted Great Dane was sleeping at my feet while I rubbed the Golden Retreiver's belly. I wanted all of them. I could only choose one, though. They were all big dogs, just like I needed. I wanted one that would protect her when I wasn't there. One that would be loyal yet low maintenance. It was tough, they all swarmed to me, begging to be part of my pack, their instincts telling them that I was Beta and to be not only respected but looked at for guidance. I had all of them in a frenzy to get out of their cages and into the play pen with me.

I only chose the big ones, the ones that would scare off any _human_ threats. I liked the Great Dane, he was noble looking... too noble, though. The Australian Sheppard was too excited, though still one of my favoirtes. The Golden Retreiver needed a lot of attention from the moment I had stepped into the pen. The Mastiff had eyed me curiously, waiting and assesing and when he approved he had come over to be pet. I liked him, he was careful even at a young age. He was noblelooking like the Great Dane, lively yet not as playful as the Australian Sheppard or the Golden Retreiver. He was sitting a few feet away from me on his haunches, ears forward and tounge lolled out. Kim would like him, I decided. From the hour that I had been playing with the puppies, he was the one that was interested yet had kept his distance, just like Kim. He would know when to be a companion and when to be a silent guardian. He was the one.

I chose him, smiling as he settled comfortably into my arms and promptly fell asleep, very tired from all of that playing. I spent a good amount of money on toys, food, and other necessities. He stayed asleep the whole time, not stirring even when I brought him out of the comfort of the pet store, the only place he had known of for the past month and a half. He was bred in the pet store, his mother being one of the owners dogs. I met her, the Momma Dog. She reminded me of my mom, cool and collected. We bonded over a milk bone and called it a day.

The puppy didn't even open an eye as I switched him from my arms and into my lap in the drivers seat of my truck. I really hoped Kim wouldn't be upset, I hoped she knew why I was doing this; I didn't like her in that house alone. Kim was under the impression that I was patrolling but I got off early thanks to Sam making up his twenty minutes and more as a sorry for last night. It gave me a good two hours to get to Port Angeles and check out the pet store. I didn't expect to actually get one... I swear. I just like him a lot. I really hope Kim does too. She didn't get home until six today. She had a rough schedule on Saturdays, waking up early and working non-stop all day.

I had plans with her later but if I couldn't have her all to myself on my time off then I figured I could just follow her like a lost puppy - excuse the pun. I pulled up at my house. My mother's car was in the driveway which wasn't supposed to happen. I was just going to drop the puppy off, let him sleep in my bed for an hour and then come get him. But my mother had an uncanny talent for knowing when I'm up to something. It's made sneaking alcohol out of the house in my younger years very difficult.

I hopped out and made my way up the porch steps soundlessly. Those werewolf super-powers (yes, they are super-powers) were going to be put to good use today. I opened the door, still yet to make a sound. I checked to the left, then the right, feeling like a super-cool spy, and finally caught the sound of her humming somewhere outside in the garden. That was good. I could be in and out in thirty seconds.

I placed the puppy in my room, surrounding him in pillows and blankets before closing the door after one last peek. I spun on my heel and nearly jumped at the sight of my mother standing in front of me, hands on hips, foot tapping to the "You're Caught" song.

"Hey, Mom. How are you?" I said, kissing her on the cheek.

"What's in your room?"

"Well, that's great Mom! I'm good too. I've got to go, though. Werewolf stuff, nice seeing you, though. See ya!" I tried to sidestep her but she was faster, unbelievably. I guess it would have to do with the fact that she could usually guess my next move three seconds before I made it. Yeah, that got pretty annoying.

"Don't make me ask again, Jared." Her tone was deadly.

"There's nothing in my room, I was just...uh - replacing some clean clothes."

"Where are you doing laundry?" Mom still didn't know about the whole imprinting on Kim thing yet. It's not that I didn't want them to meet or anything... I just wasn't ready for that kind of stress... and I just hadn't gotten around to it.

"Mom, listen. Let me catch my breath. _I_ barely know what's going on. All I can tell you is that I'm safe and someone is taking care of me. I need you to be patient for a little while so I can figure things out." That was the best I could do - ask her to wait and let her know that I was safe and sound. She sighed and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I miss you Jared; you're never home any more. And on top of your..._problem_, there's something else taking you away from me?"

"I'm sorry, Mom. Just a little while more, I swear." She was breaking my heart as I hugged her back. Literally driving a splinter right through the middle.

"Okay, just not much longer. I can't help but worry."

"I know." She let me go and kissed me on my forehead. "Be a good boy," she finished and walked back through the back doors. I very nearly teared up there and that is _not_ cool. I shook off the depressed feeling with the thought of seeing Kim as I drove down to Split Tree. I had only been there once. Everyone knew there was a horse farm near first beach, everyone knew that is where the snobby upper-class La Push population went to hang out. We used to make fun of those people. But Kim was a part of them so there would be no making fun any more.

I pulled into the parking lot and jumped out of my truck. The pulling sensation was a good way to know where my Kim was but I didn't think it was proper to just waltz right in like I owned the place so I made my way over to an official looking building with a large, pofessionally decorated sign that read "Split Tree Farm" with the picture of one half a tree standing the other underlining the words. That was probably my best bet for someone who would know where Kim was.

I opened the door and was greeted with a "Hello, how may I help you?" immediately. The woman that asked was a tall blonde dressed in the same clothes Kim wore a lot.

"Uh, yeah. Do you know where I could find Kimberly Morgan?"

"Of course! She's a popular girl today. Go straight to the indoor arena, she should be on a big black horse." That put me on the defense. Who had been to see my Kim?

"Thank you," I said as I slipped out the door.

"Hey wait!" I turned as she called, "You might want to wait a while, she doesn't like anyone bothering her when she rides." Would she mined me?

"Okay, thank you." I followed the pull toward a massive wooden structure and located an entrance near the front, doing my best to stay out of sight and quiet. I lifted my head a little over a small door and peered into the dark arena. There was only one horse, a big black one with some white on it's nose and legs moving swiftly and delicately along the wall. There were mirrors everywhere along the wall and I briefly wondered their purpose before I caught sight of who was riding the big black horse.

Kim was atop the huge animal, eyes focused and narrowed, muscles taught and fluid at once. She didn't look like she was moving, her body so still and tight. I looked over the whole of her. She had her hair up in a helmet that made her face look severe. Her white polo shirt and immaculately clean attire was piercing in the dark arena. She was absolutely concentrated, putting all of her effort into something that I wasn't sure of just yet. She shifted her left hip forward a fraction of an inch that would take a werewolf's eyes to see and the horse moved into a different movement, this on more graceful and more comfortable looking. And then they were skipping around the ring. It was fluent and consistent with the movement of her hips, her arms moving only slightly with the horses as her legs remained glued to their spot. They skipped all around the arena, changing direction and circling in different places. Then the horse stopped from the skipping as Kim's arms stopped, neither one moving even a little. I wondered if she was even breathing she was so still.

And then she leaned forward, patted the horse on the neck and relaxed her body position, the horse relaxing with her. It was amazing how in-tuned they were. Every move Kim made the horse made a reciprocating action not a beat later.

"Good boy," she murmured and patted him on the neck again. They walked and her body started moving again. She placed her hands on her thighs and took a few deep breaths, wincing every time she inhaled. The pain written clear as day across her face was unnerving. She walked for a few more minutes, the horses deep breathing becoming more regular. She tightened her abdomen once earning an immediate halt from the horse as she dismounted and walked away, the big black horse following her like a puppy even though she wasn't leading him by anything. She approached the door and spotted me at once. Her cheeks turned a little red and it sent my heart flying in tune with hers as soon as she had spotted me.

"What are you doing here? I told you I'd be home at 6, am I late? I'm never late!"

"No, you're not late. I just... couldn't wait to see you," I stuttered out. Her presence made me unable to speak a lot.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to see you put on a beautiful show." She blushed a little darker and I felt a small bit of smugness at making her like that.

"Oh, that was nothing. I was just... I don't even know. I guess I was just playing around with Nova."

"So that's who this is? _Super_nova?"

"Yeah, this is him," she said fondly as she patted his neck admiringly. This was the one that was her friend; the one that she had built from scratch into a top competitor in the Pacific Northwest. He was on rest though, she had told me. I noticed the difference between this horse and the one that I had seen her ride the night of the bonfire, which we have taken to calling the Night of Disaster. He was taller, built more. Bigger and broader in a sense. The grey one was more lean and muscular. They both reflected Kim, however. She was quick and agile, as demonstrated in a game of flag football we played a few days ago with everyone at an end of school BBQ, like the grey one yet she held that elegant presence like this horse, Nova.

And now these thoughts had to stop. Comparing my Kim to her horses as she had explained them was a bit much, even for me. We walked into the barn and I watched her take all of her stuff off, clean Nova and kiss each of her horses on the nose before taking my hand and leading me out into the parking lot. It was nice to see her soft side more often. In school she was hard in determined with the work ethic of a queen bee and one hell of an attitude to go with it. She was only soft and gentile with these horses... and me. I liked that. The fact that I had some part of her reserved only for me was exciting.

We didn't talk a lot, preferring to convey important things through important words instead of meaningless conversation. Sometimes she felt like talking though, just shooting the breeze. Most of the time she was quiet and reserved but I liked it that way because trying to figure out what she was thinking about was fun, like a puzzle. She had a good poker face but her body language gave her away a lot. So as her hand gripped mine I focused on her shoulders, the way they were tight and tensed. Her legs moved stiffly and she looked uncomfortable. Something was bothering her, something she didn't want to tell me.

I didn't spot her car so we walked over to mine and she climbed in, her body still radiating a bothered aura. She was looking down at her nails, picking at the perfectly manicured squares with disdain. I lifted her chin with my finger and she looked up immediately.

"What's wrong, Kim?"

"Nothing," she answered without hesitation. I had tried with little success to rid her of that habit, of burying her feelings and letting them seep. She was too hard on the outside, too emotionless. She was a very passionate person, I knew. But she rarely ever showed that. I liked that side of her, however, and I got her mad a few times just to see it.

"Kim," I sighed, "please?"

"I just... I don't know, Jared. I chose to have my horses at Split Tree instead of some elite barn in Seattle because I don't like people judging me when I'm not perfect. I like going to horse shows because I know that I'm flawless, that I've mastered. I don't like it when someone important is shown the process. It's not usually pretty..." My heart swelled at the idea of me being an important person.

"But I wouldn't know either way and to me your the best rider to ever walk the face of the earth." She blushed at my sincere words and her posture relaxed a little. "You're perfect to me Kim, you know that right?"

"Yes. I don't know why, though."

"Because I am Jared and you are Kim and that's that." The imprint didn't matter to me. All that mattered was Kim. And me. So the simple equation was Jared + Kim = Perfection. She winced as her shoulders met the back of the seat, the relaxed position doing nothing to ease whatever pain she was in.

"What hurts?"

"Nothing," she answered again without hesitation.

"Kim!"

"Sorry! My back is killing me. I got launched off of Jazz a while ago and definitely did some damage." The thought of her falling that hard from something so high made me want to be sick. I controlled myself and asked if I could do anything before I took her to the emergency room. I constanly had to make sure I didn't overreact with her.

"No, I'm fine."

"I have something that will make you feel better, though," I said smirking. I had almost forgot about my little adventure this afternoon.

"Yeah, and what's that?"

"A surprise."

"I hate surprises." I had figured that.

"Yeah, well, this ones good."

"Mhm," she replied, resting her head on my shoulder. Her eyes drifted shut and as I pulled into my driveway and I told her not to open them. She made a noise of conformation and pressed her head against the seat as I got out of the truck. I ran into my house quickly and grabbed the puppy - who was still sleeping-and placed him in the back seat where Kim couldn't see him.

"Do I get to see my surprise yet?" She murmured.

"In a little while. How about I order pizza? You look tired," I said.

"No, I can cook. I can do it."

"I know you can but you don't have to and I don't want you to. You're tired.""Jared, I can cook," she said tightly. She didn't like when I asked her to slow down. She got hella stubborn and belligerent.

"I'm ordering pizza, end of conversation."

"Fine," she relented, which was both good and bad. Good meaning she wasn't angry. Bad meaning she was really exhausted. That reminded me, "Who came to see you today, the lady in that office thing told me you were busy today."

"Yeah, I rode Fiona and Jazz, then Finn, Corey, and Twister. Then some people came in for lessons, specifically requesting me. I think it's my dad's doing, him wanting me to 'branch out'," she said using air quotes. The answer put my mind at ease about people coming to see her.

I insisted on carrying her into the house to which she nearly took my head off. I did carry a bundle of blankets, she thought, into the house and told her to sit on the couch. She cooperated, albeit unhappily, and crossed her arms. I unsheathed the still sleeping puppy. Her eyes widened and she _smiled_.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"If you're thinking a puppy then yes," I said nervously. I was yet to guage her reaction. She had smiled, yes, but she also smiled when she was put into stressful situations. She gave a whole new meaning to 'Grin and Bear It'.

"Let me see him." I handed the soft little creature to Kim and he settled into her arms easily, nuzzling into her embrace and falling asleep once more.

"We don't have to keep him. I just don't like you alone and this is the best I can do without hiring a team of security personnel." She looked him over and smiled again.

"I've been meaning to get around to a new dog..." she trailed off. She pet the puppy affectionaltly on the head and he pushed himself a little closer.

"So is that good? Can we keep him?" I felt like a child that had found a stray.

"Yes. Thank you, Jared." I loved when she said my name like that. She sort of whispered it. She was smiling still, full on grinning now. "He's adorable," she murmmered. And then her eyebrows scrunched together in thought. "I don't have anything for him, though. No food, no toys, no place for him to sleep..."

"Taken care of. I just wanted you to say yes before I brought everything in." She smiled again and I kissed her forehead before running out of the house to gather all of the things I bought for our little puppy.

"What's his name, Jay?" I loved when she called me that. It felt personal.

"Doesn't have one. They called him 'Number One' at the pet store, if that helps."

"Well that won't do at all," she tutted and kissed the little puppy.

"Think of one while I set this up." I pulled two loads of stuff out of the back of my truck ranging from treats, food and supplements to toys, beds and a crate. I even bought a play pen. I watched her as I set up everything. She was thinking and stroking the puppy's soft pelt absentmindedly. It was beautiful. I was pathetic. She could be doing the chicken dance in a hamburger suit and she would still be beautiful...

I ordered two large pizza's for delivery before collapsing on the couch next to Kim who had not moved. She snuggled close to my side, making my stomach clench, and I fitted my arm around her.

"Maximus...Max," she said. I thought of the movie _Gladiator_. I liked it, though. I would like it if she wanted to name him Godzilla.

"Why Maximus?"

"Because Max is cute and when he's bad I can use his full name." I loved the way her mind worked.

"Max," I said and the puppy's ears perked forward. "I like it." She set Max in his two-hundred dollar bed in the three-hundred dollar pen and the simple act of watching her interact with such gentleness made it worth every penny.

We ate our pizza and promptly went to bed at eight on a Saturday night, seeing as how we were exhausted from being werewolves and imprints and all... She glanced at Max and then me briefly before grabbing him and leading the way up the stairs. We collapsed into bed and I automatically wrapped my arms around her waist, resting my head on her abdomen as Max rested on her chest, his head atop of mine. And it was perfect because there was no other place I'd rather be than with my Kim and our new addition.

**A/N: I have a bull mastiff puppy named Tucker and he makes me feel safe at night when my parents aren't home. He's a big teddy bear... big being the key word. Kim loves animals so a dog will do her good :) **


	8. All Hail The Heartbreaker

**A/N: I've been delaying this chapter, I know, bad Meaghan, but it's a rough one and I wanted to let you all revel in my fluff for a little. Please don't hate me after this chapter. If everything goes according to plan, this wouldn't be a story, now would it? **

**Read and Reveiw, even if you hated it. I promise next chapter will be better! **

**PS: I disclaim; everyone who you recognize is SM's. **

_"I will breathe in the moment, as long as I keep my distance. I wouldn't want to go messing anything up. " -The Spill Canvas, All Hail The Heartbreaker_

KPOV

I had one of those things to go to. I hate those things. Those _stupid_ things. The dinners, the banquets, the balls, the soirées. The parties where I was expected to act proper and mingle in a tight evening gown and four inch heels as the daughter of Hank Morgan of Morgan LLP. The only good thing that came out of going to those things was that I got to see my cousin Lily.

Jared watched me as I brushed on some makeup and pulled my hair out of the curlers they were previously occupying, petting Max absently who was asleep in his lap. He closed his eyes as I stepped out of my bathrobe and slipped on the dark purple satin dress. It was probably the color this week. We had a clothing coordinator, Natalie, who sent me a dress that was in my general size range to be tailored every month along with a pair of shoes and a bag. The dress would match my cousin Lily's and Aunt Sarah's in material and color and Uncle Mark and my Dad's ties. I only saved the dresses I really liked and gave the rest to the Salvation Army.

Jared opened his eyes as the zipper came up. "Beautiful," he stated simply but it made me blush nonetheless. I had never blushed before Jared had come along and it had become very embarrassing. I walked over to him and he fitted his arms around me. I pulled my light pink polished nails over his scalp and he breathed in deeply. I loved that I had that effect on him, the ability to make him feel just as good as he made me feel just by one simple action.

"The limo's going to be here soon," I whispered.

"I wish I was going with you..."

"I know. I'm just not ready for that. I know you understand that." We've been 'together' for a month already and he still hasn't told his mother that we were. I could understand why. We were both fairly independent people and for me to have to introduce him to my father and uncle at one of their dinners dedicated to some rich employee was not something I felt like facilitating right now. School just let out and I was determined to have a stress free summer.

"Mhm. I just... It's not _safe_ there. It's not safe for you anywhere that I'm not."

"I've been to hundreds of these things. You don't need to worry about me." I loved when he did though. It felt good to know that someone was worrying about you. He kissed me soundly, nipping at my bottom lip lightly. He was intoxicating, like an overwhelming poisonous gas that once you breathed it in, there was no getting away from it. I couldn't stay wrapped in him forever tonight, as much as I wanted to.

The car outside beeped once and I groaned lightly. Jared kissed me one more time and I hurried down the stairs, grabbing my purse and jacket on the way out. I scrambled into the car swiftly and said my hello to Rodrigo, my chauffeur for the past three years.

"You look beautiful, Seniorita."

"Gracias, Rodrigo. You look handsome as always." He smiled and told me to knock if I needed anything as he closed the window between the driver and passenger side. I poured myself a drink and tried not to wince, the raspberry flavoring doing nothing to stop the burning in my throat. I don't normally drink but I had a four hour car ride in a tight dress that had to be worn until at least elven tonight and would much rather be in a pair of old sweats sitting on my comfy couch watching some stupid movie with Jared - sue me if I wanted a little liquid comfort.

I began to reflect over how much things had changed already in the past month since I had really met Jared. We spent every minute together. I had never realized how attention starved I was. I should've been unnerved with the proximity that we had grown to, the closeness that our relationship so far has been based on, but I wasn't. Not one bit. It was relaxing to cook dinner for him, to wash his clothes, to help him study for his finals. The interaction was warming. Personally, I was a fan of the kissing. I could kiss Jared all day everyday and never tire of it. I loved learning about him. I loved knowing every thought that passed through his head and he in turn loved listening to me. It was as easy as breathing to be around him, to talk and interact with him. It had never been that easy with anyone, not even Mina (who was galavanting around Mexico for the next month).

I was dragged out of my thoughts as we pulled up to some over the top venue and I got out, not excited for the onslaught of camera's and reporters that were sure to be gracing the sitars and pathway to my destination. Rodrigo opened my door and I kissed his cheek before sliding him a tip and walking swiftly toward the large marble stairs that were littered with people. Vince was at my side immediately.

"How are you, Miss Kim?" he asked as he shoved numerous people out of the way.

"I'm good, Vince, how are you? How're your little ones?" Vince was my body guard of over ten years and I had basically grown up with him. He had brought his kids with him once and I had discovered them in a coat room, instantly recognizing their faces from the many photos that he had shown me. Their babysitter had cancelled and he couldn't afford to not be here, him being a single parent. They were both adorable and I offered to keep an eye on them for Vince, the best body guard in the world. I fell in love with them, Jordan and Alexa, and asked about them frequently, even coming to visit them a few times.

"They're good and they told me to tell you that they miss you."

"Tell them I'll come for ice cream soon," I said as I kissed Vince's cheek, sliding him a tip as well. He sighed but took it anyway, knowing I wouldn't let him give it back. I walked swiftly into the main room and spotted my father by the doors with a cocktail in hand, chatting up some important client. I didn't see Lily or her family anywhere so I reluctantly walked over to my father, the doorman taking my coat and purse before I could get away. I smiled at some people I didn't know that obviously knew me and they began whispering behind their hands almost immediately. I rolled my eyes and picked up the pace, sliding up next to my dad.

"Kim-bean! I was just wondering where you were. You remember Mr. McDouglas?" My father asked as he held out his arm.

"Of course, Sir, how are you?" I smiled my best 'I hate you' smile, the one that they always thought meant 'I love you', and latched onto my fathers arm.

"I'm well, Miss Morgan, how are you this fine evening. Your father sure knows how to throw a party." No, my father's people know how to throw parties that attract the right type of guests.

"He always has! Could I get you another drink, Sir?" I asked noticing his nearly empty Mohito.

"No, thank you, dear. We don't want the Mrs. to worry now, do we?" I ignored the fact that he would be plastered within the next half-hour if he wasn't already and that the Mrs. was probably screwing the hot doorman in the coat closet.

"Of course not. If you'll excuse me, I just spotted my cousin headed for the ladies room."

"Yes, dear. It was a pleasure to meet you again Miss Morgan," Mr. McDouglas said as he kissed my hand with his chapped, alcohol coated lips. I fought a grimace and smiled despite the urge to vomit. I hadn't spotted Lily at all but I had only needed to let my father know I was here. I was free to do whatever I wanted to now. I walked up the right wing staircase and headed for the end of the hall and onto the balcony. There were was no one out there and no media coverage either, the east wing always got the attention.

Lily was seated at a small table near the railing in an empire waist dark purple dress in a soft satin; almost the same as mine. She had her head resting on her hand, both admiring and frowning at the view of the city.

"Hey, Lil." I sat next to her and she sat back and smiled.

"Hey Kim. Nice dress, copy cat."

"I definitely got mine first," I said grinning. We fought like cats and dogs but she was like a sister to me.

"Yeah, whatever. Did you see Lorena? She came out of the ladies room thirty seconds before Marco did. I swear they're even stupider than they look. Everyone saw them," she said in her best gossiping voice. I pretended to look intrigued and even leaned forward to whisper, "Really? She was with Sebastian last I checked."

"Yes, well, that was last month. She's with Marco now. You know, _Marco_. Because they all have different personalities and different qualities. Mhm: snobby, stupid, more snobby, and more stupid." We kept up a straight face for another couple of seconds before cracking up. It was funny, really; the way that they all galavanted around with their different assortment of boys that were all the same with varying hair colors.

We laughed and joked for a while longer, just acting like cousins on the balcony of the west wing. I decided not to tell her about Jared; I wouldn't be able to explain it right. I wouldn't be able to tell her everything about it, all of the dynamics, so it wouldn't be worth it. So we sat for hours just talking, discussing horses and both the life that we shared and the one that we lived away from each other. Eventually it got late and we sent Vince (who had joined the conversation at least an hour ago) for food and drinks, him being the best bodyguard in the world and all.

I had just finished all of my Red Pepper Halibut and was on my way to go throw out all of our plates when I spotted my dad's purple vest and tie out of the corner of my eye. It wouldn't have surprised me to see him in the corridor at all... that would be if he didn't have his tongue half-way down some lady's throat and his hand up her shirt. I tried very hard to control the outrage; he had the right to be with whoever he wanted to be with - it wasn't any of my business. I inhaled sharply and walked quickly down the staircase, desperately trying to control the hardwired tears.

I grabbed my purse and coat and paged Rodrigo, calling him to the west wing exit. He pulled up swiftly, thank God. I wasn't sure if I could handle the questioning look. He opened my door and said his usual "If you need anything, Seniorita, just knock." and I climbed into the back seat of the car, not exactly sure how to stop the steam coming out of my ears. I had no right to be mad, to be upset, to be frustrated, to be bothered. None at all. It wasn't logical for me to be. But I was fuming. Absolutely livid. I was almost hyperventilating at this point and we were barely on the 101.

The image was dirty and it was seared into my memory, burned into the forefront at this moment. The way he held her against the wall, the way his hands moved over her body, the way her leg was hitched over his hip, the way her hands tangled in his hair. _Slut_. No matter how many times I tried to think about something else - anything else, Jared, Nova, Fiona, Jazz, Lily, AP Chem, counting sheep, the way the cucumber had looked a little too green in my salad, Rodrigo's new suit, Vince's kids, the crappy over-used music in the dining hall that could be heard from the balcony - anything that would stop the stupid broken record of that one image. Nothing would though. I poured myself a double and tried to calm my nerves which were on fire right now.

927. That's the number of times I saw my father and the other woman before we arrived home. I tipped Rodrigo and made my way onto the porch. It was a little easier to breathe here. The air was cleaner, lighter. Not thick with memory. I took my shoes off lightly and worked my way up the stairs, trying very hard to not wake Jared who was sure to be fast asleep. I didn't want him to see this - how these things make me. I started to breathe deep again as I pictured the same image I'd seen the whole car ride, only this time against the dark wood wall in the den or the whitewash door of the studio, agianst the black marble countertop, on the mahogany wood of the desk in the office. I pictured my mother walking in on them, even though she's not even alive anymore. I felt betrayed and terrified all at once.

I was close to tears, too close for comfort and I refused to let them fall, taking in big gulps of air to try and stop the urge. Jared wasn't in the bed so I assumed he left for patrol. I stripped quickly and changed into jeans and a tee; I was too upset to sleep. _Upset_. When was the last time I'd been upset over something like this? A long time ago. If there was a problem, I dealt with it. I didn't understand why the same dynamic didn't apply to this issue. It wasn't even an issue! I felt like a little girl; like a hormonal, upset, immature, little girl. That was _not_ okay.

I felt so out of my element. Everything was supposed to be tight, structured, and routine. This whole new feeling, weightlessness, the freedom, the spontaneous, was screwing me up. Big time. And I knew the cause. And I didn't want to do what I knew I would have to do.

I had to... alienate _him_. Take _him_ out of the equation all together. At least until I figure out how we can coexist without me losing myself to _him_. And by _him_ I mean Jared. Jared who I had been in love with since I was thirteen. Jared who I have simultaneously imagined and copied perfectly. Jared who has both helped me and destroyed me.

I had softened in my desire for him, totally and completely dissolved into someone that wasn't me. But it had felt _good_. _Too_ good. And now I was coming back together, solidifying, like a saturated solution that was suddenly disturbed by an overwhelming amount of solute and has started to re-crystalized. In other words, the precarious balance has been violently ruptured by just one, tiny realization. I breathed deeply, it seems I have been doing that a lot lately.

I stripped my bed and washed everything, scrubbed the floors upstairs, and reorganized the attic. It didn't make me feel better. Since I was feeling like a child, maybe I should act like one. I tried to push the tears out but they wouldn't come now. It wasn't that type of emotion. It was so intense, so sinking, so full of despair that there was no room for tears. I sat at the kitchen table in silence and sipped a glass of iced tea. It made my stomach churn tightly. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to stop the feeling. I wanted to crawl in it, wrap myself in it and go to sleep forever.

I thought of his lips, eyelashes, his skin. His eyes, his arms, his neck. His fingers, his hands, his wrists. I thought of how I'd miss all of that. I thought of the way human interaction had warmed me and how it had brought out a side of me that I didn't know. I was afraid, I'd never admit it, but I was terrified. Kimberly Morgan was never scared but this was not just a normal afraid. This was a crippling fear and I wasn't about to show it to anyone by addressing it. So I rationalized it by saying that I needed to work on me before I could work on us.

_I needed to work on me before I could work on us._

Yeah, that's what I would say. The door closed lightly and my heart jumped into my throat. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to lose him to my own devices. A tear formed in my eye but I shook my head as he walked into the kitchen.

"Hey honey. You're up late." He smiled and kissed my forehead immediately. And then my heart started ripping down the middle just a little.

"Jared," I croaked out.

"What wrong, are you sick? You're eyes look a little glassy and you look a little pale," he said as he felt my head, realized that was stupid because of his abnormal temperature, and moved his hands to rest on my neck as he felt my glands. His overwhelming concern ripped another seem in my heart. I placed my hands on his and guided them back to his sides.

"Sit down." He looked worried. This was going to be horrible. I didn't say 'we need to talk' because those are never good words and I wanted to keep him happy for just a few more seconds, at least. "I - I don't think I can - I can't... I'm sorry Jared, but I don't think we should keep seeing each other." I finally spit out. _Rip_, there goes one more seem. Shock, pure and utter shock. Then Denial.

"You don't mean that. Are we moving too fast? I can slow it down - we, _we_ can slow it down. Am I too intrusive? Am I too annoying? Am I too..._Jared_? Is that it, because I can change." _Rip_.

"No, Jared. It's not you. It's... I'm not-" God, the 'it's not you, it's me "- I can't explain it but... I'm so sorry Jared. I was leading you on; I was pretending to be someone that I am really not. Maybe that's who you imprinted on - the other me. The public me. I don't want to, I _can't_ show you the private me. That night, the one in the studio? That wasn't even the half of it. And I can't subject you to that. I'm sorry, Jared. So incredibly sorry." I swallowed the huge lump in my throat and looked at my hands, closing them into fists and then flexing them, making sure I didn't feel numb. He sat silently, not even breathing. I held mine too.

"No. I won't let you." Why was he making this harder for me? For himself?

"You don't have a choice."

"I do. I have a say in this. Give me something to go on. Tell me why. Tell me!" He started shouting and I winced, still looking at my hands. He yanked them towards him but I refused to look up. _Rip_.

"Don't, Jared." It was a conviction. I said it confidently even though I felt like I didn't know what I was talking about even a little.

"Please, Kim. Don't do this to me." I don't have a choice, don't you see that?

"Goodbye, Jared." I emptied my glass in the sink, my fingers shaking as I placed the glass gingerly in the dishwasher and walked around the table to get to the stairs. He grabbed me around the waist and whispered in my ear, "Please." I knew what he wanted: an explanation, a discussion, a reason, _anything_. But I delicately removed his arm with my violently shaking fingers and walked up the stairs.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and I knew he could hear me. My shoulders began to shake with an empty feeling that I knew too well. I was angry that I couldn't just get over it._ Get over it._ It seemed like nine hours ago was a lifetime away, when I was running my hands over his soft hair, reveling in the feeling of his arms around me.

I grabbed a blanket from the closet and made my way into the art studio. I hadn't done this in nearly a month; I had a distraction. Now it was time to get back to normalcy. Normalcy as in a tightly wound spring, ready to explode at any minute over any little thing. Normalcy as in misery. Normalcy as in back to the way it was. Back to my regular nasty, hard-ass, disagreeable self.

***Dodges hateful glares* **


	9. A Lack Of Color

**A/N: BIG shout out to SweetandSpicy180 for giving me some awesome help last chapter and a great reveiw and then indulging me in my obsessive author-ness! Okay, now that you've all festered in anger for a while, let's get this show on the road so you can stop being mad at me and/or hating the story. Read and Reveiw? **

**I disclaim: If I were SM, I'd sue all of the people that made the movies and demand a re-make. But I'm not, so no one who you recognize is mine.**

Part I - A Lack Of Color

_"I'm reaching for the phone...But I know it's too late. I should've given you a reason to stay." - Death Cab For Cutie, A Lack of Color_

KPOV

I flexed my right hand and added my inside leg, tightening my abdomen and taking a deep breath. Her stomach bent around my leg to make a crescent shape as she rounded the corner. I dropped my stirrups and let myself sink into the saddle, twisiting my hips to the right end tightening my left rein as we danced along the straight. I stilled my arms and tightened my abdomen further, effectively bringing Fiona to a stop. I leaned back a little, and she moved backwards as well. Once I leaned forward, I shifted my hips and picked up a canter, trying to still my lower leg against the saddle. But it wouldn't. I stopped more abruptly and Fiona threw her head, causing me to snap the bit a little painfully in her mouth. I shifted my hips once more and continued my path around the arena.

I took my time and slowly tightened my legs, lifting myself out of the saddle and positioning myself to hover in complete balance over her shoulders. She extended her stride, taking bigger steps until we were cover ground fairly quickly though at a slow pace. My leg was still not tight enough and I gently eased back into the saddle, Fiona collecting her stride with the new pressure. That was good, she had been ignoring that signal for the past week. I decided to end on that and let Fiona walk on a loose rein to relax her back and neck muscles. I took a deep breath and my back cracked painfully. I was in pain, not just physical pain, but emotional as well. It was horrible, this empty feeling.

It was unnerving more importantly. I was supposed to be imperturbable. Call me Brutus. But I was altered, completely changed, like an element that had undergone only half of a reaction, only half bonded. I had _felt_. Not the 'sad' I felt when I missed my mom. Not the 'hurt' that I felt when I thought about how I was a failure as a daughter. Not the 'frustration' at people and their stupidity. Nope, I had felt weightless, delirious, distracted, so high above my old self, I had thought. Obviously not. I missed him like crazy... not that I'd admit that outloud. But I did. I was always cold now. Always empty. But I didn't show it on the outside. I wasn't weak. Nope, not me. I had done what I needed to do - remove him. But then why did it hurt so much whenever I thought about _that_ night? Why did I still _feel_?

I finished up with Fiona and cleaned all of my stuff, taking extra long to distract myself. My truck felt empty without Jared's huge presence to fill it up. I hated that. Why did he have to go and change of the things that I loved most? God-dammit.

You see? Yes, that! _That_ is what I hate. Let's just switch emotions like underwear. I mean really? What the hell had he done to me? This was not me! This is not me! I do not go from empty to frustrated, back to empty and then to angry. And then I sighed and decided not to feel. Just like before, right? Wrong. I felt everything, ten times worse than it already was.

I made my way back home slowly, trying hard to concentrate on the wet roads while my emotions raped my chest cavity, from empty to lonely and back a thousand times. It felt like every time they crawled their way up, they just skidded back down, rubbing the area raw with their claws. And then I started to cry before I even got up the driveway. My arms shaking as I sobbed into to the steering wheel. I opened my door, desperate to just get inside, where no one could see me.

My legs were weak and unstable. And I was angry that I couldn't even support myself, and I was frustrated at what a stupid little girl I was being, and I was nauseated at the very thought of going into my mothers art studio to sob to her, and I was _so_ cold. My body was convulsing in the cool summer air, trembling from the force of this _complete_ _mental_ _breakdown_. Actually, this past three weeks has just been one huge mental breakdown.

My key shook in the lock as I hastily undid it, breathing deep as the tears started to come in thinner tracks down my cheeks. Max sleepily walked down the hall and into the foyer. I quickly gathered him in my arms, still clad in my boots and chaps as I sat down on the love seat, desperate to hold onto something. I buried my head in his soft fur and he licked my cheek. I didn't even have the energy to be worried about how unsanitary that was. I didn't really care, either. There was something concrete and soft and warm in my arms.

I eventually unzipped my boots and curled up into a ball with Max still attached to me, making little puppy noises once and a while. It was hard not to picture Jared whenever I looked at his big brown eyes.

Jared, Jared, Jared. Ouch. I missed him. I wanted him. But I didn't like to feel the way he made me. I had let my guard down and now I was feeling everything I tried so hard to not for so long. Ten times worse. One hundred times worse. I didn't even have the energy to get up and make myself dinner. I didn't want to go read my AP Bio reveiw book. I didn't want to reorganize the tupperwear cabinet. I didn't want to clean the laundry room. I didn't want to wash the curtains in the dining room. I just... didn't want to. I wanted to call Jared and beg him for forgiveness. But that was against the Kim Rules. I didn't beg and I when I made a decision, I stuck with it. I was headstrong and decisive. But with each passing second the rules started to seem more and more stupid. The phone was right next to me. It was sitting there waiting for me to call him. I stretched my arm out. So close.

And then there was a knock at the door. A loud, _one_, _two_, _three_. I could feel it, the pull in my chest, right where my heart was. I got up and walked down the hallway to the door. And even though I was kinda falling apart and I was starving for those arms, I held my head confidently and acted like I didn't want him here. Because those were the rules.

Part II- So Obvious

_"I'm losing my mind, broken inside...It's obvious that my heart beats for you." -Runner Runner, So Obvious_

JPOV

I was broken. I was bleeding and seizing and convulsing with every passing second that I stared at the wall next to my bed. I couldn't get up. Couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't breathe, couldn't feel anything. Everything was numb and cold. I vaguely recall Sam coming over and talking to my mother about what had happened. I vaguely remember her trying to get into my room to talk with me but my door was blocked by the bookcase, the dresser, and the armoire. I vaguely remember her trying to talk to my dad about it through her hysterics. I wish I could do something, wish I could make it stop... but it only got worse. I laid there for so, _so_ long. I tried to bury myself under the mattress, tried to crush the feeling away. I tried to curl into a ball and wish it away. But it just wouldn't leave. The big gaping hole in the middle of my stomach that was sucking everything into it, I mean.

There was a big bang on the door and Sam came crashing through the book case, landing next to the dresser with an 'oomph'. I didn't look at him as he got up and dusted himself off.

"Jared?" No, the tooth fairy. "Jay, I can't even imagine how you feel right now." Yay, a lecture. This one was _definitely_ planned out. Sam can't talk about this stuff without stumbling all over his words and getting red in the face. "You need to fix it though, and I think - "

"Okay Sam, thank you but I can handle it from here," my mother cut him off abruptly.

"Sure thing Mrs. Taylor." Sam walked out the door and my mother's scent filled the room. Her hesitation was evident.

"Honey?" Ow, that hurt. My mom was sad too.

"Yeah Mom?" My voice was scratchy and cracked. Her weight shifted the matress a little and I felt her hand come over my shoulder. It felt cold like everything else. But it was my Mom so I turned over and hugged her like a little boy.

"Oh Honey, I'm so sorry." I tried not to crush her but she kind of felt like something solid to hold onto when it felt like my whole body was falling to pieces. "I know you don't want to talk about it, sweetie, but it's been nearly three weeks. Tell me please, tell me everything. Let me help you, Jared." I forgot how to make my voice work so I nodded but didn't say anything for a while.

"Kimberly Morgan. Imprint." Ow. Fuck.

"I see." She said, contemplating her answer. 'Okay... well, it makes sense. Sam told me that she didn't want to see you anymore. That's all he said. But I think, given the circumstances, that I understand why. Do you remember the funeral, Jared?" I nodded into her and she stroked my hair like when I was little. "Well Kim was always quiet but I think now there's more to it, honey. She doesn't like to... feel. She felt vulnerable when she saw how much you loved her, I think. She didn't like that, Sweetie. People like Kim like to be perfect and imperturbable. They don't like to be human. It hurts too much for them, honey. Do you understand, Jared? You didn't do anything wrong." I didn't do anything wrong. _I didn't do anything wrong_. But how did she know that? How did she know that I wasn't just the worst excuse for an imprint _ever_?

"What if you're wrong?"

"I've known Kim a long time, Jay. You know how Mrs. Morgan and I used to work at the studio together? Well I used to watch Kim somedays for her when she got busy. You were always out playing sports and hanging out with Paul, so you don't remember, but I know how Kim operates. She was a project of sorts, when I was taking that Child Psychology class at the community college. I analyzed her." How had I not known such an important piece of this puzzle?

"Tell me more." I sounded like a caveman but the slight possibility that I may be able to fix this was making me hope beyond reason.

"Well, I'm not a psychologist, Hon, but Kim's the type of person that's going to need a lot of love. She's hurting, even if she pretends she's not. It's the way she survives. You survive by ignoring and avoiding. We all have different defense mechanisms, Kim's are just more prominent because she's had to go through a lot. Like I said, Jared, this isn't your fault."

This wasn't my fault. It really, honest to God wasn't. Well, I didn't do anything _right_ either. So I was neither right nor wrong... where the hell did _that_ leave me? It didn't matter.

I should've realized this earlier.

This was my Kim. She had baggage, and battle scars, and she was vitiated and I needed to figure out how to deal with it, how to work around it. I wouldn't have it any other way. It was like a puzzle, figuring out my Kim. An extremely hard puzzle that kept changing it's picture, shape, and size. Part of me loved the challenge but I hated the time it took to put some of the peices together - I wanted everything to be alright and put together right now. Not when I finally had a 'eureka!' moment... or when my mom had the 'eureka!' moment. I took a deep breathe and reveled in the feeling of everything going to be okay. The muscles in my neck and back that had been taught with stress these past few weeks without my Kim have caused released a bit.

Back to the point: this wasn't my fault. God, that was just such a good feeling.

She had felt susceptible and valnuerable and if there was one thing that Kim hated, it was feeling ripped open and exposed. I loved that about her, it made her a strong person, but right now it was an issue in our relationship. I wish I had figured that out instead of having to go to my mother. How had I not seen it? I felt a little inept but it was nothing compared to how elated I was about finally figuring out how to fix this. I kissed mom goodbye and let the drizzle shower me, cleaning my body and my mind.

I jogged the path towards the north side of the rez. and ended up on the big white porch sooner than I normally would've. I was a little nervous, some of the tightness returning to my body. I ran my hand through my hair and knocked on the door.

The cushions on the couch became light with her weight gone, socked feet made light steps down the hall way. A deep intake of breath, a hesitant glare, and a shake of the head. She opened the door confidently.

God she was so beautiful. But too thin. The once smoothed over muscles were now taught against her skin and her bones protruded sharply wherever they found the chance. But she was still gorgeous. She cleared her throat and stared up at me as she ran a hand through her beautiful dark hair.

"Hey," I kind of half whispered-half breathed.

"Can I help you?" Ouch. Her voice was hard and cold.

"This isn't my fault," I said, making my voice overly warm and happy. Going to fight ice with fire.

"Excuse me?" Ouch. She was overly formal and completely fake.

"_This is not my fault_," I repeated slowly.

"I am aware of what the words mean. I do not, however, understand how they pertain to your current position on my porch."

"You don't have to understand. I'm just letting you know that this is not my fault and that I will not let you push me away anymore. I'm here to help you; I'm not the enemy." It was plain and simple. Please believe me.

"You're entitled to feel that way but you don't really get a choice in-" _oh really_?

"Nope, actually, I do get a choice and I choose you. I fully understand the problem now so don't try and pull any of that 'you wouldn't understand' crap. If you don't know already, let me lay it out for you: you feel vulnerable and too soft and too human and that scares you because the only way you know how to deal with problems is to take an apathetic approach." Take that Dr. Phil. I should get my own TV show. "Now I don't know what happened to set this off or how exactly I'm going to fix it but I do know that you're trying to shut me out and I - " I didn't know what to say: I love you, you're everything to me, I need you - "I can't live without you." My heart beats for you, how do you not understand that?

I felt like I had the upper hand somehow. Like I knew all the answers and I just had to explain it to her. All in due time.

She didn't know what to say. Which was odd because I'd never even seen her once at a loss for what to do or say.

"Now let me in so we can talk." I didn't give her much of a choice because I pushed passed her and grabbed her hand, leading her into the kitchen. Her hand felt good in mine and I squeezed it. She didn't squeeze back but that was okay because I was going to make it all better. I was going to fix this, I was going to fix her. No matter how long it took. I grabbed the pitcher of iced tea out of the fridge and poured us both glasses. I made Kim's with extra ice because that was just how she liked it.

She was leaning against the table, her arms crossed and her face unreadable. I handed her the glass and she sipped it elegantly; she did everything elegantly. The image of grace. I cleared my throat and pulled out her chair for her. I put my glass on the table, shuffled my feet, scratched my neck - trying to find the right words.

"Tell me what happened." I didn't demand it, because that would get me nowhere.

"Nothing," she sighed looking away.

"Kim, please," I whispered. It was getting hard to just sit here and not touch her, not gravitate towards her. I walked over to her and crouched down in front of her chair, placing my hands gently on her cheeks. She didn't protest, but her jaw tightened under my palms.

"Please," I pleaded once more.

"You were right... before, when - when you said that I don't like to be v-vaulnerable. I don't like to feel." She looked away and my heart broke because I knew a lot of the reasons why she didn't like to feel. And I had made her feel. I was simultaneously proud of myself and ashamed. I rubbed small circles on her silky cheek and tried my best to not kiss her right then and there.

"When did you decide... _how_ did you make the decision to... cut me out." She closed her eyes and leaned into my hands that were still rubbing her cheeks as I cradled her head.

"I thought it was your fault," she whispered meekly. My Kim was strong and my Kim was rock solid... or so she thought.

"I'll take the blame if you want me to but," how did I convey this to her? How did I tell her how much of my world she was? "My heart beats for you; don't push me away."

"I won't anymore. I promise. I was three seconds away from calling you anyway." God, that felt good. I wasn't the only one who needed the other. I had broken her resolve, finally. Maybe it was the combination of my hands and my effective words, or maybe my confidence and my absolution. I didn't care what it was because I loved her and everything was going to be okay.

"Tell me... when I came her and you were... what happened that night?"

"I - I don't want to talk about it."

"I don't care." That was a lie, I cared very much but I needed to know what happened in order to fix it. I leant my forehead against her, and she grabbed my forearms. I hoped that meant that she wanted to have me as close as I wanted to have her.

"That night, when I went to that dinner thing... I saw my dad... and he was - he was with..." she was having trouble getting whatever it was out but I had a pretty good idea at this point.

"He was with another woman." She nodded and leaned in further to me. Her eyes were closed but the tears still fell.

"I shouldn't be upset. I just felt like if you weren't here I could deal better. I wouldn't have to pretend that everything was okay."

"You never have to pretend with me. You're my imprint. If you hurt, I hurt... only ten times worse." Something clicked because she opened her eyes and looked at me. Really looked at me. And then she launched herself at me. I didn't want to hurt her so I fell with her and we ended up on the floor, her arms so tight around my abdomen that I shouldn't have been able to breathe. She buried her head in my chest and my shirt was instantly soaked. I sat up and pulled her into my lap, holding her in my arms like if I let her go she would disappear. I ran my hands over her hair, her back, her shoulders. I didn't quite know what to make of the situation but I did know that if I didn't do something soon, I was going to go into emotional overload. There were too many things that had just happened. She had hated me, she had confessed to me, she had touched me, she had cried to me, and now she was hugging me. Wow.

She cried for a while and with every tear a knife twisted in my gut. I didn't know how to help. So I kissed her. I kissed her cheeks and her forehead and her shoulder and her neck. And eventually she stopped crying. I pulled her face to look at me and finally kissed her where I wanted to most, putting everything into it. And she kissed me back. Like she had never wanted anything else in her life. And we were together. And her body against mine was enough to make me forget about three weeks of pain.

**A/N: So? _So_? Still mad?? Reveiw!! **


	10. The Sound Of Settling

**A/N: Fluff, again. I have something coming, something big, and it was going to be in this chapter but I got carried away with fluffiness so it'll have to wait till next chapter. Once you read, you'll know what this big thing is and I hope that you enjoy some suspense! Read and reveiw, por favor. **

**And I disclaim. All Characters you recognize aren't mine, they're SM's.**

Chapter 10- The Sound of Settling

_"My brain's repeating, 'if you've got an impulse let it out'." - Death Cab For Cutie, The Sound of Settling_

KPOV

The phone rang loudly in the kitchen, disturbing the silence. Jared groaned and lifted his arm off of my stomach to let me up. Who was calling me at eleven on a friday night? The caller ID said Dad. My chest instantly contracted in that second of panic that you feel when something could be very, _very_ wrong.

"Dad?"

"Hey Kim-Bean, how are you?" Fake happiness.

"I'm fine. And yourself?" Awkward.

"I'm well, thanks for asking. I have something to tell you." No shit.

"Okay..."

"I'm, um, going to be bringing someone to dinner with me on Sunday. Is that alright? Will you have enough food?" _Someone_. Did this _someone_ have bleach blonde hair and a fake nose?

"Of course Dad, that would be nice. Should I make something special?"

"Well... they like seafood, the person that I'm bringing, but you don't have to go out of your way."

"Okay, sounds good Dad."

"You bet Kim-Bean, I'll see you on Sunday."

"Okay," I said into the phone but he was already gone. There was a million things going through my mind: Who was it? Why did he say 'they' instead of 'she'? What about seafood do they like? Can you tell something about a person based on what food they like? What can I make? Swordfish? Chilean Sea Bass? Mahi Mahi? Should I decorate? Does this _really_ need to be happening right now?

I poured myself a glass of iced tea as all of these questions flew through my head at top speed. I started planning out dinnerware and an outfit, the table settings and the plates I would use. I could feel my back and neck tightening the more I thought about it. I didn't even notice Jared come down the stairs. His arms wrapped around my middle and squeezed lightly.

"It's going to be okay. Just... breathe." His warm breathe on my neck made me shiver and I forget about my current predicament. I was tired again; that's how easy Jared distracted me.

"Can we go back to sleep now?"

"Yeah." But I couldn't just shut off my brain like that, no matter how distracting Jared was being. I laid in bed, my body entangled with Jared's as I tried to just _stop_ thinking. He wasn't sleeping either; I could tell by his shallow breathing.

"You have a lot to do tomorrow, Honey, please try and go to sleep," he said pleadingly.

"I just... _can't_."

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered the question into my neck.

"S-stuff," I stuttered out as he ran his lips from my ears to my shoulder and back.

"What _kind_ of stuff?" I couldn't even answer this time because his teeth made contact with my ear and made all coherent thoughts and speech nonexistent. He ran his hand over my arm. "You never answered my question." How did he expect me to answer when he was doing that? If you were to ask me just one month ago if I could melt into a boy, I'd tell you you were crazy. But right now, in this moment, I was a liquid pool of Kim that was dripping onto the wood floor. "Kim?"

"Yeah?" My hands moved into his hair as he rolled us over so that he was hovering over me, his lips making trials along my cheeks.

"You okay, Honey?"

"Yeah... just don't stop doing that."

"No problem." He kissed my nose and finally made it to the place I wanted him most. I let him take control because he was just so good at it and... I really liked that he was dominant. It made me feel safe and protected and it was... _hot_. Yes, _hot_. Not that I'd ever _admit_ that. So I let him slip his lips between mine and kiss me like I was the only thing that ever mattered to him.

I needed to be closer. I had been so far from everyone for so long that now I needed to _feel_; not that type of feel that had disconnected me, but the good feel. The Jared feel. I arched my back into him and scraped my nails along his scalp. His hair was so soft. He kissed me harder and moved to rest his weight on his forearms, bringing himself closer to me. His body was radiating heat like a fire. I ran my nails from his hair, down his shoulders, and over his chest. He kind of growled into my mouth and it caused a vibration that was ridiculously hot, so I did it again. We broke apart, needing oxygen, and he breathed heavily in my ear.

"We need to stop," he whined.

"I don't want to."

"I know..." I mean really, was there a need to stop?

"So we shouldn't. I don't want to think anymore. Kiss me," I pleaded.

"I know, I know... but..." He pressed his lips to mine hard for a second but broke away quickly.

"But _what_?"

"I don't want to move too fast. I mean, you're in your pajamas - very _small_ pajamas - and I don't have a shirt _or_ pants on for that matter, _and_ I am _on top of you_, in your bed. We are moving too fast. _Way_ too fast." What was supposed to say to that? 'Well, I haven't had any affection or personal relationships except for Mina in the past three years and I have this ridiculous need to be near you at _all_ times and all I want to do all day is _kiss you senseless_.' Might as well say 'I'm a whore now have your way with me before I spontaneously combust.'

But instead I said "Fine." and left it at that, rolling out from under him and out of bed.

"Come on, Honey, don't be like that."

"Whatever, Jared." I was simultaneously embarrassed and offended... and ashamed. I mean, I just got rejected, essentially. And I seemed desperate and _slutty_. I had plans to make anyway; I had a guest that was coming in two days. A guest that apparently was important enough for me to meet her. I walked swiftly out of the room and padded down the stairs. I heard Jared coming after me but ignored him and moved into the kitchen. There was a recipe box above the kitchen sink and I reached to get it but big russet hands had already closed around it. Jared moved it to the counter and placed his hands on either side of me on the kitchen sink, trapping me.

"Look at me," he pleaded softly.

"No."

"Kim."

"_No_."

"_Honey_."

"Back. Off. Jared."

"No. Stop it and look at me." I hated him.

"_What_? What do you want me to say? What is so important to you at twelve-thirty in the morning - " but I didn't get to finish my little rant because he kissed me so forcefully that I had to steady myself by grabbing his shoulders. He cupped my face and ran his weathered fingertips over my cheek bones. He moved his tongue between my lips and traced the roof of my mouth as he moved his fingers through my hair.

"That's what," he whispered softly as he rested his forehead against mine. I was a bit lightheaded so I just closed my eyes and leant further into him. "You can plan and be OCD tomorrow. Come back to bed and lay with me. You know I don't sleep well without you." And there went every angry, upset, or hurt feeling. I both loved and hated that he could do that to me.

"Okay." Did that make me weak? Did that make me unable to even make my own decisions? Did that make me a follower? "I'm not like this for just anyone, Jared. You - you... I don't know what you do or how you do it but... I just have the urge all the time to make you happy... and I like it." _Epiphany_! The way I felt about Jared was genuine. It wasn't fake and unreachable like pleasing my dad was. It wasn't me covering my bases and making sure I was pleasing everyone. I really wanted to keep Jared happy (when I wasn't being a selfish idiot). No matter what it took. _That_ was why our relationship was so easy. I loved doing his laundry and folding his socks the way he liked and making his favorite food and just living for him. It wasn't living for me and then living for everyone else. It was living for us. And I loved that. I _loved_ it.

Maybe I didn't love Jared quite yet but I loved being his person. His confidant, his comforter, his object of affection. I starved for him to tell me things, tell me anything, about his life and his world. I was connected to a human being. We were together, with something air-tight, steel wired, and solid between us. A bridge that was impossible to destroy. I held him tighter and he kissed my forehead. Yes, we were connected by things that were stronger than cold hard facts and truth.

**_________________________**

I woke up early and headed to the barn, making my rounds and just doing regular endurance or fitness tests to gauge which horses' schedules needed to be changed. I cleaned and organized and did my OCD thing. But it wasn't exhausting. I was well rested and this was calming. I ran my hands over my tack, feeling the supple leather under my finger tips and inspecting every crevice of every saddle and every bridle.

I ran my hands over Nova's coat, who relaxed appreciatively under my touch, reaching back with his head to nudge me in happiness. He was so expressive. I moved to the next stall, Jazz's, and scratched his ears. Jazz loved to be touched all over his face, from his ears to his joules, he loved to just be admired like the show-off he was. His dark grey coat was shiny and thin and I ran my hands over the slick hair, removing a small film of surface dust. I moved to Fiona's stall, whistling a little to get her attention, my delicate little mare. She was prissy and a bit difficult but she was my little girl. And when she moved across the arena it was like watching the ballet. Fiona liked her attention focused on her main and tail, her thick beautiful hair shined in the dim light of the barn as I ran my fingers through it. She nickered lovingly and I smiled.

These were my babies. My reason to keep moving. They were strong and powerful and I tailored them each to their specific needs and they kept me human. They gave me their hearts and I gave them my promise to keep them safe, healthy, and happy. My horses were happy, they were healthy and conditioned to a tee; my horses were part of me.

I moved down the aisles, giving out peppermints, checking water buckets, and rubbing noses. This is what connected me to the world, this is what kept me sane. I looked at them now and smiled at my horses. All of them. The hard headed ones, the perfect ones, the dull ones, the ones that needed some work, the ones that were hurting, and the ones that needed stability and I smiled my first smile without something causing it. I was happy. Happy and light. And it was because I was near the things that I loved; not because I was endorphin high or slap happy.

By the time I got back home it was already noon. Jared would be home in a half hour. I heated up left overs on his plate, stuffed ravioli and spinach salad, and set to work calmly on my plans for tomorrow's dinner. A chopped salad with crabcakes for appetizer, Spicy Cod fillets with a white cream sauce as my entree, and fruit cakes for dessert. I ran this by Jared who was too busy inhaling his food to answer.

"Sounfs goo."

"Swallow, Jay."

"Sounds good. Are you nervous?"

"Not anymore. I will be, but not right now." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but walk over to him and run my hands down his shoulders. So broad and muscular. It felt like I had this new ability to see and feel things so I touched whatever I could find, like a child. I kissed his neck and squeezed the space between his neck and his shoulders, feeling the muscles move, feeling the skin contract there. He made a small noise and dropped his fork.

"So tired..."

"I know. I need to talk to Sam. I mean, I'm all for hard work and go till you drop but with only the three of you? We need to go make one of the elders' sons angry or something. Can we do that?" He mumbled something along the lines of 'not unless you want to be shunned' and promptly feel asleep, eyes closed, mouth open, half a plate of food still uneaten. I ran and grabbed a pillow from the den and placed it behind his neck... could werewolves get neck aches? Whatever, better safe than sorry.

Max walked lazily into the kitchen and yawned tiredly. Looks like my werewolf isn't the only pup that was tired.

"What have you done all day that is making you tired except for sleeping?" I picked him up and he snuggled happily into my arms. He was so warm and cuddly. I just wanted to go snuggle with him. I wanted to go wrap myself in all of the things that were making me happy right now and never come out. But I had responsibilites and company tomorrow... was it weird that I regarded my own father as company in his house? Probably. I settled Max into Jared's lap and his didn't stir once. I watched my boys sleeping and my heart nearly burst; it wasn't used to all of this stretching.

I prepared the meal and pre-cooked what I could for the rest of the day, caught up on bills and files that needed to be organized, and read. Jared awoke eventually and collapsed onto the couch next to me, bringing max with him and resting him on his chest as he placed his head in my lap.

"How's your neck?"

"Mhm mmm... mhuh."

"Oh really? Could you translate that for me? And when's your next patrol?"

"It's fine. That means that I'm too tired to process the question, much less answer, and... at midnight," He yawned and snuggled closer to me. He was adorable and genuine. Like a child; an innocent little boy that just wanted to spend the day with his puppy and his girl.

"Okay. Are you hungry? You didn't finish your ravioli. Was it bad?"

"Nothing you make is ever bad. And no. Even if I was, I'd be too tired to get up right now; too comfortable."

"Me too." I ran my fingers through his hair and memorized the softness on my fingertips. So beautiful. I flicked on the TV and ordered a movie, something to laze around with. I drifted between reality and dreamland and eventually went up to bed with Max when Jared left for patrol. I wasn't nervous or anxious about or even anticipating tomorrow. I was at peace; relaxed. The past seemed so far; the hurt seemed so far.

**__________________________**

I awoke early, having gone to bed early, with Max licking my face. "Gross, pup." He wined a little and hopped off the bed. I followed him down the stairs and let him out the back door, watching as he sniffed around for a place to do his business as the warm summer air, scented with the salt of the ocean, hit my face. I breathed deep, feeling a strong sense of calm. Until I remembered that _company_ was coming today. And then I breathed deep again, this time to relieve the tension, not to revel in the calm that had just dissipated. Max trotted up the back steps and into the house happily and went immediately to the door. He barked his tiny little bark and a second later, Jared was there to pick him up and snuggle.

"Hey," he whispered. There was just something about the morning in La Push that made you want to be quiet. Especially in a big old house.

"Hey," I whispered back and walked over to my favorite person.

"You look beautiful." I nearly laughed. My hair was probably frizzing out in all directions and my eyes were crusty.

"Lies, but thank you." I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. It was so hard, yet so soft at the same time. He put Max on the couch and fitted his arms around my shoulders. They were heavy and strong, like steel bars.

"How was patrol?" I mumbled into his bare abdomen.

"Meh, I'm tired. Not too bad. How long did I sleep yesterday?"

"A good five hours. Did it help?"

"Yeah."

"Good." We stayed like that for a few minutes as he ran his hands up and down my arms, warming them in the slightly chilly house.

"Breakfast?" I loved cooking for Jared.

"Yes, please." I released him and lead him into the kitchen.

"What do you want?"

"Anything. I'm starving." So I made pancakes and fruit salad and fresh orange juice, enough to feed four people. He sat there the whole time and watched me. Jared offered to help me cook once, but I wouldn't let him. It was something that I did by myself and imprint or not, there were just some things that were to be done alone. For me, cooking was one of them. We ate in silence, just our bare feet touching under the table as we ate. I used to have music playing all the time. From classical to rock to alternative. All the time. But now, there was no need. I had a body, a someone, a perfect someone to share my silence with.

We finished out our meal in peace and Jared fell asleep on the couch as I rubbed all the tension out of his neck and I left him there snoring. I played some soft music from my laptop as I began preparing dinner and setting the table. I had started out relaxed, content mixing the ingredients together in bowls and dancing a little to The Audition but as the clock moved my nerves started to kick in. Who was she? Was it even a she? What if he's gay? What if it's a man? That'd be better than a woman, right? Are they judgmental? Will they hate my food? Do they hate the color blue? Because that's what I set the dining room table in. What about drinks? Should I serve wine? Cocktails? Shots? I'm totally not prepared for this. I'm really not.

The telephone rang loudly and I jumped about a foot in the air. _Dad_.

"Hey Dad, everything okay?"

"Of course Kim-bean! How is everything on your end?"

"I'm doing fine, thank you."

"Okay then. I just wanted to call and let you know that I'm leaving now. Okay?"

"Alright, I'll see you in a few hours." And then there was silence. Four hours. I had _four_ hours and the Cod wasn't even finished marinating. I had four hours and the fruit that I was having delivered wasn't here. Three hours and fifty-nine minutes and I didn't even have my centerpiece. My hands started to shake. I had four hours. If it was a she, how was I going to keep my cool? If it was a she, how was I going to stop from ripping her throat out? How, how, _how_?

I grabbed the bottle of vodka from the liquor cabinet and poured myself a shot. It was times like these that I absolutely loved living alone. And my _God_ that stung. But it got me back to the ground. I was going to be fine. I was going to make dinner, set up the table and I was going to be just fine. Just like always. Stop hyperventilating, stop shaking, and get it together. In through the nose, out through the mouth. I've become skilled in the art of preventing a mental breakdown.

I finished cooking and took a shower, dressed and tied up loose ends. Jared was still fast asleep but Max had joined me on the love seat as I read and waited for the Cod to finish. One hour. Jared awoke with a start all of a sudden and was up on his feet in less time than I could even look up at him,

"What's wrong?"

"I have to go. I - I'll call you later." He was almost out the door but then he turned and kissed me hard on the lips. "I'm being called. Don't leave the house."

"Okay." he was being called. _Called_. Called as in there was an emergency. Called as in he didn't have time to even tell me what was going on. Now how was I going to make it through dinner? I watched as he jumped off the porch, one second human, then next a big brown wolf and just a pair of shredded sweat pants laying on the ground.

**A/N: For those of you who don't know, owning a horse and being responsible for another life is... hard. But so incredibly worth it. It's impossible to describe the way the connection between a horse and a human comes about, but I tried. Maybe if you have a child, that's what it's like. A horse and it's rider as so in-tuned to each other; like one body. Like I said, impossible to describe. But through blood, sweat and tears (cliche, I know), when you're reveling in each other's presence, that's when you realize that you've given your heart to something that will never break it. I promise; I know firsthand. **


	11. Fix You

**A/N: So this chapter... is scary. And a bit controversial. But this is life and I'd like to think that this whole story is about Kim facing her issues with Jared... No, not **_**with**_** Jared but as in him being there by her side. Okay? And there's some stuff that needed to be addressed. Remember Mystery Woman? PS: there's a lot of violence... so be warned. Read and reveiw please? Thank you :) **

**I disclaim, by the way. **

KPOV

I paced up and down the hall, listening, looking. There was no one there. Max followed at my heels, pacing with me. He was was worried about Jared's absence as well. A car pulled into the driveway and it wasn't Jared's, Sam's or Paul's. But it was a long black one. That held two passengers. Oh boy. There was too much going on inside of my brain. Every other thought was Jared, Jared, Dad, Mystery Person, Jared, Dinner, Dad, Jared, vampires, Jared, wolves, Mystery Person, Jared, and back again.

Two doors shut. Two sets of legs made their way up the porch. Two knocks on the door. Deep breathe.

"Hi Dad," I smiled and kissed his smooth after-shave smelling cheek. Which was oddly comforting.

"Hi Hon - " But he didn't get to finish because something was attacking his leg. Something small and furry and emitting little intimidating sounds as he did it.

"Hey! Stop that. Maximus!" Good dog. I detached Max from my Dad's leg and tapped his nose. "Don't do that!"

"What the hell is that?!"

"It's a puppy. And he's just doing his job. Isn't he cute?"

"Yeah, sure. Does he have a crate?" I sighed and shooed Max up the stairs, closing the gate to the stairs, closing off his exit. I could expect to wash my sheets tonight... and my carpet. Dad was never one for animals.

"Let me take your coats." I realized that didn't even look at her yet. She was hidden behind my Dad, completely veiled. I could practically smell the bitch coming off of her in waves. She was medium height, bleached blonde hair, pretty top, dress pants, and pointy shoes. Heavy blue makeup, one inch nails, sharp angular face, sharp nose and botoxed lips. Ew.

"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Kim."

"Hi, I'm Vicky, _so_ nice to _finally_ meet you." She talked too slow, like her lips couldn't keep up with her brain... or the other way around. We shook hands and hers felt like dry paper in mine. _Ew_. My mother's hands were always soft. Calloused, but soft.

"Could I get you anything to drink?"

"I'd love a martini, dry no olive." Who the hell did she think I was? The fucking bartender? Ordering me around like she owned the damn place.

"My usual Kim-bean." Dad always started the night with Bacardi on the rocks.

"Alright, there are starters on the table." I made my way into the kitchen and started mixing the drinks. How the hell was I going to make it through this? I wanted to put her on a platform and pick her to pieces. I wanted to put her right next to my mom just to see how many worlds apart they were. I shook my head on put on my party smile.

"These are great Kim-bean!" Dad smiled at me through a mouthful of crab cake as I handed him his drink.

"Thanks. They were fairly easy to make."

"You _made_ these?" _Vicky_ asked surprised.

"Yes, why?" I couldn't keep the tone out of my voice.

"They're... good. Really good." Her left eye twitched. Not a lot, just a little to let me know she was lying. How dare she? Lying to me in my own home, and so obviously?

"Thank you," I said tight lipped, radiating ice through my eyes. "Are you guys ready for salad?"

"Yes, that'd be nice, Kim." Her voice was ugly and nasally. I walked into the kitchen quickly, trying very hard to keep my cool. Yes, the feelings that Jared brought with him were real. And I loved the affection and the joy and the happiness but this was anger. And it wasn't like before that I could just ignore it. I felt it. And it was _infuriating_. It was real. And real emotions are ten times worse than the muted ones.

I violently mixed the salad, taking my frustrations out on the stupid lettuce. But then I heard something. And not just the microwave beeping or something stupid. I heard something that made your chest cavity constrict with panic. It was the howl of a wolf. A loud, terrifying howl. I dropped the salad forks and listened again. But there was nothing but a small amount of chatter from the dining room. I walked quickly into the foyer and onto the front porch. It was a stupid idea but I needed to see, needed to distinguish, what I heard. But there was nothing. Just the soft patter of rain and the wind in the trees. The trees that were hiding what I wanted to know.

Where was my Jared? I stood on the porch, shaking. There was a rustle in the trees, but it was gone by the time I looked hard enough. My heart was beating out of control.

There are times when there is something scary, maybe even terrifying, that's going to happen. Something that is out of your control and out of your power. But you know it's going to happen. Other times you have no idea what's going on. Those are the scariest. There's no way to prepare for what may or may not take place right in front of your eyes.

I should've gone inside. Should've let Jared and the rest of the small pack worry about it. But something was standing in my way. I couldn't look away from the trees. And if I had, I would've missed it. There was a distinct white blur. And there was a distinct brown blur. And they were mingled. For only a second, they were right in front of my eyes, just in front of where the tree line met the front yard. Only fifty feet away. There was a snap of jaws and a scrape, like metal against metal, and then they were gone. Right back into the tree-line like nothing happened. There was no trace of them being there; no marks on the grass, no broken branches.

I didn't realize how long I'd been standing out there. But apparently it was a while because one second I was staring at the trees and the next Dad was standing in front of me.

"Kim-bean?"

"I - uh... sorry. I'll be right there."

"You okay?"

"Uhm, yeah... I just thought I saw something." I walked into the house, my legs still shaky and my hands still quivering. But I didn't have time to think because I had company. I had a dinner to serve. I just had to get through this and then I would be able to worry all I wanted. I put the salad out on my mother's finest china and moved on to dinner quickly. I didn't even care about Vicky anymore. I didn't care about it or her or the situation. I just wanted my Jared.

I had no choice but to put time in between dinner and dessert. My leg wouldn't stop shaking and my eyes kept winding up at the window.

"Kim?" I mean, what if I just saw one thing? Just a muzzle or a tail. Something to let me know that he was okay.

"...Kim?" It might even be better if one of them howled again.

"Kim!" Well that brought me back to planet Earth.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay? Is there something outside that you want me to look at? You keep staring at the window..."

"I uh... no, no there's nothing."

"Why don't you show Vicky around? I have to make a call."

"Okay," I said a little faintly. How the hell was I supposed to concentrate on what could be happening outside. I moved my chair out quickly and set my napkin on the table. "We'll start in the den." Vicky followed me out, her sharp heels clacking loudly on the hardwood floor.

"You have beautiful floors."

"Thank you. My mother loved contrast. Dark wood floors, soft colored walls."

"What's this?" She pointed to the statue of a mother and a child, made from mango wood, just like the floors.

"It was her first statue."

"It's... beautiful... " She didn't mean that. You could practically hear it her voice. She was being polite, yes, but she was a horrible liar. "And the painting above the recliner?"

"Hers as well. It's the garden outside in summer... but if you look hard enough, there's a brighter light about it. Like in the winter. It was her way of confusing everyone. She loved mystery." I don't know why I had felt compelled to tell her that. Maybe it was just to show her that if she planned on taking her relationship with my father seriously that she had some huge, insightful shoes to fill.

"Oh really?" She didn't understand. She was fake. "Now that is just plain ugly," she said with disdain, gesturing at the vase my mother painted sitting on the armoire.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean look at it. It's painted with those awful colors. Not pretty at all." Resist. The. Urge. To. Kill.

"Not all art is supposed to be 'pretty'. Art conveys feeling. She painted that after my grandfather died. In between fall and winter, when everything is dead and not covered in snow, so it's barren. It has it's own beauty." There. That was nice, right?

"Oh, well, I don't like it." Thanks for your input, oh ye wonderful world class art scouter.

"Let me show you the studio. That has all of her good work in it." I turned back towards the stairs and ascended quickly, stealing glances at every open window I could. There was nothing.

"What an odd door." I ignored her even though I had so much to say.

"Her best work, in my opinion, is organized on the right." The huge studio was covered in paintings, sculptures, photos, multi-media projects, canvases, paints, and supplies.

"Well, it certainly isn't very organized."

"An artist doesn't need to be organized; they work better in chaos. Organization doesn't inspire."

"I can hardly walk."

"You're not supposed to walk, you're supposed to look."

"I don't see anything that I like." I tried, I really did, to keep myself under control. I had explained and I had countered every negative thing that she had said about my mother's work that was sold out in places as far as New York. I had pointed out perspective, and color, and shape, and composition and all of the things I was taught. And for her to ignore it? That was just the icing on the cake.

"If you don't like it, get out. You're not needed here if you can't appreciate someone who was obviously an important part of both mine and my father's life. I don't know your intentions but I suggest you rethink them because you have enormous, gorgeous shoes to fill. Not tacky, fake leather ones like yours. Now get out." Venom and ice; I still had it in me.

"Your food was distasteful and overcooked, you stupid little girl. Learn some manners." Oh now that was it. My arms shook, my neck strained. My tension was released in a loud smack that reverberated across the studio.

"Get out!" I roared. Literally, roared. Not screamed or yelled. I was a lion protecting my territory. She was in shock. The fake, ugly, plastic, slut was in shock. And there was a glaring red hand print glowing on her gross, wrinkly, cover-up slopped face. Her eyes were wild. She couldn't decide if she wanted to hit me back or if she wanted to run. Run, you stupid little bitch. Run, before I come after you.

She finally walked unsteadily out of the studio and straight down the stairs, out the front door, and out of my sight. But only a few seconds later my Dad was thundering up the stairs.

"Who in the hell do you think you are Kimberly Ann Morgan? What gives you the right, what gives you the _audacity,_ to hit someone that you have just met as a guest?" he screamed and suddenly I couldn't think of an answer. My father hadn't ever screamed at me. I had been so emotion riddled and so pressured that I couldn't exactly give an answer.

"She insulted me _and_ my mother in _my_ house. Remember her? Remember Camilla? Your wife? She died! Do you remember that? Or has being a big-city sell out consumed all of your time?" I was done holding my tongue. I realized, a little too late, that this had noting to do with Vicky. This had to do with my mother, my father and I. There were things that needed to be said. And I wasn't going to hide anymore. I was done.

"You have no idea what it's like to want something. You have gotten everything you have ever asked for! How dare you tell me that I am selling out. I am working for you; for your life!"

"Oh really? Because last time I checked, you were the one who moved out and into Seattle before I even owned a horse! Before I took care of this house, before I cleaned, and cooked, and took care of the bills and raised myself for the last three years. Where the hell have you been? And your going to sit here and tell me 'How dare you?'. Well how dare you tell me the proper way to act! It's not like you ever taught me! It's not like you don't go on five vacations a year to places that make the French Riviera look like a motel. It's not like you don't live in a goddamn pent house in upper seattle. Good try, though. Telling m your working for me. You stupid, ignorant bastard." That was too far. That was _way_ too far.

He was suddenly so close that I couldn't breath, couldn't prepare for what was coming.

"You disrespectful little bitch. I'm ashamed to call you my daughter." And with that, his hand came over the sides of my face, three times. His big, calloused hand, beating like a drum over my face. My hands came to shield me but they were just knocked away. And it was over as soon as it had started with the slam of the studio door. The stairs shook, the front door slammed, the car started, the doors closed, and the gravel crunched under the tires.

I moved my shaking hand to my face. My face that couldn't feel. I couldn't breathe. Something had just happened, something that wasn't finished. Something that I had started.

"Ow," I whispered into the empty studio as I pressed my fingers into the swollen side of my cheek. Deep breaths, don't cry; deep breaths, don't cry. Don't cry. Too late. And my mother wasn't here. She wasn't here wrapping herself around me when I needed her. The studio was cold and dry. My lungs couldn't warm the air, couldn't grab the oxygen fast enough. I couldn't feel. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move.

I stumbled numbly into my room. It was odd, this sensation. I couldn't feel anything, yet every nerve in my body was on fire; adrenaline kicking in a little too late. And then I could breathe just fine. Thank you reflex hormone. My thoughts moved so slowly still. I moved to the bed and collapsed. Sat bewildered and completely enlightened at the same time. I needed some direction, some inkling on what to do next. But I couldn't move.

* * *

_"And I will try to fix you." - Coldplay, Fix You _

JPOV

How could I have let this happen? How could I have been so stupid? Let him get so close to her house, to my Kim? Close enough that she saw something? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was an idiot. I'd make it up to her. I'd - I'd... I didn't know what I was going to do. What I did was unforgivable. How could I have not realized that we were so close to the center of my world? I was focused so closely on killing, on destroying something that was threateneing my Kim that I didn't even realize the danger I had put her in. I was mentally killing myself. My head hurt so bad.

I didn't bother with the front door, opting for the open window. She was sitting on the bed, just sitting there. She didn't look up when I came to her side.

"Honey?" Now generally, that's a pet name, right? There should be no crying, right? Right?! But as soon as the words left my mouth she was sobbing. I walked to her side of the bed and turned the light on the night table on. And then I saw why she was crying. Both of her cheeks were bruised faintly, her eyes completely red. Her hands shook at her side.

Something started to build in me. Something that wasn't going to be able to be stopped when I let it loose. And I _was_ going to let it loose. My body shook, shook so hard that the floors rattled.

"Wh - who did this to you?" I demanded. Her eyes were scared but her face was dead. "Answer me!" There was no time for this. I needed to kill, to tear apart the person that did this to her. I was going to watch as this person wished they were dead. That's what they would feel. They were going to wish they were dead. Buried ten feet under, when I was done with them. My Kim was done being hurt. I was tired of her being hurt. And whoever had hurt her was going to die. "Kim!" I shouted again. Her hands moved over her face.

" I - I...Ow," she whispered. The anger was still there, my God was it still there, but my heart broke, moving the anger aside a little and making room for sympathy.

"I - I'll deal with that tomorrow. T-Tell me what to do Kim. Tell me and I swear I'll do it. Tell me how to fix it. Tell me how to make it stop hurting." When will my Kim stop hurting? She didn't say anything, just reached for me. So I came. I came to her and I held her. I would hold her together until she was fixed.

I removed her shirt and replaced it with a comfortable one, undressed her, took her shoes off, unmade the bed and I held her.

"I love you." That wasn't what I had meant to say... but I wasn't embarrassed or surprised. "You don't have to say it back. But I want you to know. I want you to know that I'll always be here for you. For anything. I'll always love you and I'll never stop. I won't ever leave you. I promise. I promise so much that it hurts. Okay?" She nodded into my chest and that was all the conformation I needed. I was going to fix her. I was going to take all of this hurt and these broken pieces and I was going to put them back together. No matter how long it took. Because that's what you do when you love someone and they're hurt; you put them back together.

**A/N: ... *hesitantly smiles* so? I'm TOTALLY against domestic violence but Kim's dad is a barbarian incapable of feeling or using his words. And he's a little like my dad so it's easy to write him. Kim is SO new to all of this that she went a little too far, obviously. Oh, and, if you haven't noticed, people change when put into different situations. I hate that. Noticed how Kim's dad was nice in front of his important client and now he's an ass? Constructive criticism only, no flaming, please. Thank You to all that reviewed/favorited/subscribed. REVIEW!**


	12. The Adventure Finale

**A/N: Hello nice people that read my story! How are you all? Good? I hope so. I'm not. But writing helps me escape for a little while, so please, take the time to reveiw! Now, I have a few words: I think chapters 1-11 were of Kim... breaking. She's like a bone that healed all wrong and had to be re-broken. And that's what Jared helped her do. He helped her get over her whole 'water-bugging' (basically when someone just represses and shies away from anything that makes them feel) thing. And he helped her realize just how nice it is to have someone that loves you. He's helping her re-heal, step by step. Perhaps 12-23 will be of Kim healing? So three books? The Re-break, The Healing, and The Revival? That's just what I've been playing with. Your input is helpful, so reveiw!!!**

**PS: I disclaim. I don't own A&A OR Twilight. But, I do own everyone who you don't recognize, so no stealing. Borrowing with permission? Absolutely :)**

KPOV

I woke up a little disoriented. And not in my pajamas. And not in my bed. And___definitely_ not in my room. But there were familiar warm arms around me. Which prompted me right back to sleep in this strange bed, in this strange room.

"Baby? You awake?"

"No..." Jared chuckled and I felt the vibrations on my hand, which then must be on his chest. I tried to feel my other body parts. The skin on my face was on his... arm. His bicep. My leg was thrown over his hip. I'd worry about that being risque but I was just too tired right now. His hand was... tangled in my hair. So I was essentially laying on him. I didn't want to open my eyes; it was just so comfortable.

"Honey... if you don't wake up, I'm going to have to resort to some not-so-honorable ways of getting you up..." Jared trailed off as he kissed the top of my head. Right now, some not-so-honorable ways were looking pretty good. So I kept my eyes shut and snuggled a little closer to his body, if that was possible.

"Kim, wake up," he sang as he ran his free hand over my eyes. They fluttered open on their own and focused on his face. His beautifully angled face.

"Do I have to?"

"Well, you've slept a total of nearly twenty hours, so yeah, I think you should get up." _Twenty_ _hours_? Holy shit! I have school, and horses, and homework and Max! When was the last time my poor puppy had been fed?! And - and what's the day?! And what the hell time is it!?

"_What_?!" I shreiked as I jumped out of the strange bed in the strange room.

"Whoa, calm down, okay? It's Monday, August 25th, 2005. I called Monica and she's taking care of everything down at Split Tree. I checked all of your files, no bills are due until next week and I had a cleaning crew go to your house today. Max is here. Everything is clean, neat, coordinated, and organized. Okay?" I honest to God had the best soulmate to ever grace the face of the planet. I collapsed back onto the bed, not so alarmed anymore.

"Thank you. Thank you, _so_ much."

"Of course, Honey. You didn't think I would forget about all of the things that are important to you, did you?"

"No... no, I just... I don't really know where I am. An overview of the last forty-eight hours would be great," I said as I dug deeper under the covers and back into his side. He didn't answer.

"Jared?" I honestly didn't remember anything... He exhaled loudly and my whole body moved with his.

"I don't know... I don't know if I can tell you what happened without getting a little upset. So maybe - maybe we should just wait a little. Are you hungry?" I _was_ hungry but I wanted to know what was going on.

"Jared, please tell me - " but I was cut off by a barrage of images, voices and sounds. Dad, crab cakes, Vicky, shoes, art, fists, and the slam of a door. And suddenly I couldn't breathe. My lungs were taking in air but it wasn't going anywhere. There was blood rushing somewhere, I didn't know where, but all I could hear was the pulsing of my heart. "Kim! Kim, breathe!" So maybe I _wasn't_ breathing. That would account for the lack of air. Jared crushed me in his arms, literally held me so tight, so hard that I couldn't... freak out. I couldn't do my Kim Thing and throw a fit or a tantrum or any other detrimental thing.

"Wh - what's happening?" Why the hell couldn't I... feel.

"I'm repressing your nervous system. Just for a little while, I swear. I'm putting large amounts of constant, deep pressure across your body so that your pulse rate, your metabolic reactions, and your muscle tone decreases, thus repressing your nervous system. I'm compressing your central nervous system, slowing your heart down." ...uhm what?

"Way to go all Doctor Jared on me." I said a little sleepily.

"Yeah, well, you have a tendency to get a little ahead of yourself and I - I'm going to sound like a perverted douche bag, but I researched ways to... naturally calm someone down. So when you freak, I can help you. I can do something besides hug you. But then my mom found me and told me that when I hugged you, that I really _was_ helping. I just needed to hug you harder... and longer."

I didn't know what to say. But whatever he was doing was seriously making me very relaxed... so I kind of just nodded a little and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry if I... if I shouldn't have done that but I wanted to help and -"

"Stop, Jay. Thank you. Thank you _so_ much, again. You're... you're the best person in the world right now." He really was. He took time to learn how to freaking r_epress my nervous system_ so that I wouldn't freak out and make stupid/rash decisions that I would regret.

"I just wish I had known this earlier." _Ouch_. Those stupid three weeks where I actually thought I could stay away from my Jared.

"I'm sorry about that. You know I am. I _really_, really am. I'll spend the rest of forever telling you that - " ...had I really just used 'forever'? I mean, I thought about it, of course. But I had never actually said it. He was mine... forever. He had told me so, but that didn't mean that he wanted me forever. I tried to look up at him but I couldn't really move my body in his iron tight hold.

"The rest of forever with you sounds really good," he whispered. I've never met anyone more perfect.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Then I do believe we have a deal for eternity."

"Sounds... perfect."

"I concur." He chuckled and kissed my temple lightly. Oh how wonderful it felt to finally have his lips on me. I wiggled a little, trying to tell him I wanted more. Human affection was awesome. How the hell had I not had this before? Jared kept his arms around me for a while. He said that it worked better if the pressure stayed on for a while. I didn't mind. I don't think he did either. We just laid there and I didn't look around. I didn't see anything. I just felt. I used my whole body to feel Jared's presence around mine. It was beautiful.

Eventually he started running his hands up and down my arms, sending warmth everywhere. I finally got my senses back, my sight, my hearing. I took a look around. It looked like a boys room. Pictures of cars and boats and planes and some pictures of friends on the dark blue walls, no doubt framed by his mother. And there were a few pairs of cut-offs thrown over a gaming chair in front of a large TV with several gaming systems. The bed was large, seeing as how we both fit comfortably in it. I liked it. It felt like Jared. Warm, relaxed, welcoming.

"I like your room."

"Really? It's kinda messy. And you've been sleeping with Optimus Prime for a while..." I failed to notice the Tansformer sheets but they were just part of the charm. His beautiful, child like, innocent charm.

"I like Optimus Prime," I smiled as I stretched into the really comfortable and sweet smelling mattress. I felt like liquid, limber and fluid.

"... Why doesn't my back hurt?"

"Uh, well this might be weird but... I moved you. Every hour. I made sure you didn't stay in the same position. And when you were laying on your stomach or your side I messaged it so that it wouldn't be sore when you woke up. I had to leave for patrol but I put a heating pad on so that everything stayed warm for you. I know that's really awkward but... I know that you have some issues - which we're going to go see a specialist about soon, by the way - so I just wanted to make sure that you were as comfortable as possible." I have never met someone so... caring. So willing to go out of their way for someone else's happiness. I felt like I was going to cry.

"Thank you... I - I... I don't know how to tell you how much everything you do makes me so incredibly happy. You're perfect. And I just wanted to let you know that." He flipped me over so that I was facing him and kissed me. Kissed me so hard that there was no room to move.

"You're welcome. For everything. Because when you're happy, I'm ecstatic." I laughed and kissed his nose. Because it was perfectly shaped and fit right on his beautiful face like the rest of his features. His stomach rumbled loudly and I laughed again.

"Hungry?"

"Starving."

"Okay, so lets get food. Direct me to your kitchen, love."

"Yes ma'am." He was just so amazing.

* * *

JPOV

"My mom wants to have dinner with us tonight," I said as I swallowed Kim's famous pancakes. Her body tensed. When she was stressed or nervous, she didn't gulp or change her facial expression in any way, she just... tensed. Her whole entire body. And you could feel it. It was painful. I was contemplating lunging at her and doing the whole pressure thing again but she relaxed and shook her head.

"Okay. I can do that. It must be hard for her to not have you around like she used to." I let out a breathe I didn't know I was holding. Thank God. I had some things to attend to anyway. It was three right now... I could be back by six.

"Okay, here's what we're gonna do... if you want, of course. I'll drop you off at your house and you can go and do your Kim thing and I - " I should really learn how to think before I speak..."I - I have some pack stuff - _things_ to take care of. Pack things. Mhm."

"You're a horrible liar. I don't want to know what exactly you're going to do just - just promise me that you won't murder anyone."

"I promise." Now I would never lie to my Kim but... I couldn't _really_ promise that. Not one-hundred-percent.

"Okay." She knew I wasn't exactly being truthful... but she let it be. We finished breakfast and she walked around my house for a little. Smiling at the various baby pictures and admiring some of my mother's art. I had to force her out when it started getting late so that I had time to... take care of who needed to be taken care of. She kissed me before she went inside... and then she kissed me again. I was glad that it wasn't just my favorite thing to do on a daily basis.

I suddenly remembered something, something that I had said last night. I had said that I loved her. I had said and I had explained it but I wasn't sure if she remembered. And I couldn't tell if I was embarrassed or not. I had her pinned against the front door. Thank God her driveway was really long and no one could see us...

Her hands had pulled me by the color of my shirt towards her and I instinctively followed, catching her bottom lip between mine. Sweet, soft, gentle. Once, twice, three times.

"Do you remember what I said last night?"

"Not really..." she whispered as I ran my lips over her pulse point.

"Okay. Let me go, I have to go do something." I said 'Let me go' like it was actually possible.

"Yeah, okay," she said as she ran her hands down my bare chest. There was a part of me, the feral, completely animalistic part of me that wanted to stay here and ravage her, as creepy and barbarian as that sounds. And there was another that needed to go kill the fucker who had hurt her. And one last part that just wanted us to be together anywhere doing anything. But I needed to take care of what had happened. It was one thing for Kim to be emotionally hurt and another one entirely for her to be physically hurt. And there was hell to pay for both. So I left her pouting on the porch and raced off towards the forrest line to phase and run to Seattle.

I ran quickly through the forrest, grabbing some clothes in a bag that I secured around my leg and pushed my legs as hard as they would go. I started hitting suburbs and it was getting harder to stay concealed deep in the woods. I phased back and ran on foot until I hit the city limits. I knew the address of the building that I wanted but I didn't plan past that, stupidly. When I had figured out what had happened, it was really hard to control myself. Really hard. As a matter of fact, I didn't really. I phased after I had made sure she was okay and brought down a good portion of forrest before I could even register my brothers' thoughts trying to calm me down.

Could you blame me? Besides the ridiculous immorality of domestic violence, that was my imprint. _Mine_. And just the thought of anyone even entertaining the notion of hurting her made my spine tingle. I get that it's animalistic and barbaric but she was mine. And the whole point of her being mine was so that I could protect her. All of her: mind, body, and soul.

I found the apartment building I was looking for and entered quickly through the back. You would think that a big Native American guy sneaking around some fancy uptown Seattle neighborhood would be a bit suspicious but no one seemed to be interested. It was easy to follow Kim's Dad's scent all the way to the top floor and the door wasn't exactly made to keep a werewolf out. The apartment was cold and modern. Black and white squares and circles littered the hard white walls. So impersonal. There were no pictures, nothing of color and nothing of importance. I made my way through the tiny one-room apartment and snooped. The closet was full of expensive clothes, expensive shoes, expensive jewelry. I walked back into the small living room and sat on the couch, opening my ears and concentrating on the world. The city below moved fast but inside the building was quiet; muted almost. The elevator moved from somewhere in the middle of the building, a soft dinging and the shift of cables.

The door creaked open and hesitant footsteps made their way in. I stood and crossed my arms, completely ready.

"H-hello?" I didn't say anything. The lights came on. He walked unassumingly into the living room. He jumped back once he saw me.

"Who the hell are you?" He was acting tough. He wasn't a small man, probably six-foot. But I was six-four and built. His heart beat became faster. He moved back. But I was already at the door, closing off his only exit.

"What do you want? Y-you can have everything. There's Rolex's in-in the bedroom and Armani suits and-and here's my wallet. There's got to be at least a thousand in bills. You can have it." He tossed me his wallet and I threw it on the couch.

"I don't need your money."

"Then what do you want." He took his jacket off, obviously feeling a little confident... stupidly.

"Well, I'd like to kill you but you're Kim's dad so I can't do that." He obviously thought I was kidding because he sighed and picked his wallet back up.

"How much did she pay you to come _intimidate_ me? Stupid little girl..." My hands shook. He opened his fancy wallet and walked towards me. Within arms reach. Idiot. Before he could even finish counting his stupid money, my hands were around his neck as he hung from the wall.

"Listen, you stupid, idiotic, barbaric moron. If you ever, _ever_ fucking touch my Kim again I swear to God I will rip you limb from limb. Slowly. I _will_ kill you. If you even think about her wrong, I will destroy you and everything you love. Do you understand me?" I spat out pure venom. My hands were barely letting any air in, as loose as they could stand to go. They ached to rip. They wanted murder. The wolf in me wanted murder. Jared didn't really want to control him, but I did. I pressed my hands more firmly into his neck, blocking off all air until he was nearly blue and then I let him go. I was out of the door and running top speed down the stairs towards the exit before he even hit the ground. I didn't need any police complications.

The run back to La Push was... easier. I felt like I had gotten what I needed off of my chest. I should've broken something... but I didn't. I meant what I said. If anything like that ever happened again, I would kill him. I would tear him straight down the middle. My rage was a little more muted with the thought of the bruises that will cover the bastard's neck. I pushed my legs faster, wanting to get back to Kim. There was always someone patrolling, but that didn't mean that it was safe for her without me.

This wasn't over, obviously, but I loved my Kim and sometimes when you love someone, you have to be irrational to show just how much. If she hadn't wanted me to, if she wanted me to be responsible and fix it some other way, then I would have. I would have controlled myself. But she didn't. She knew what I had to do and she didn't stop me. Which I was grateful for. Someone who hits their kids, no matter what they said or did, needs to be brought down a couple notches. I have no tolerance for unnecessary violence.

I wasn't all that dirty so I just threw on the clothes that I had used to get through Seattle. Kim was looking at herself in the mirror when I opened the door, a frown gracing her beautiful face.

"I look like a freak."

"No, you don't." I said confidently as I kissed her nose. Kim needed to be sure, absolutely positive. There was no room for hesitation, so I said everything like it was absolute truth.

"You look beautiful, as a matter of fact. Lavender is your color." The light purple seemed to illuminate her skin like a glow about her whole body. She smiled up at me as I wrapped my arms around her middle.

"You ready for dinner?"

"Yeah," she whispered. Our ride was quiet. Not contemplative or tense... just quiet. Our hands were laced together like the chords of a net; inseparable. I cut the engine and looked over to her. She was beautiful.

"You sure? Cause if you don't - "

"I want to. You're with me and - and as long as you stay, I'm fine." She was insecure.

"Look at me." Her eyes were drawn to her lap where small hands fiddled with mine. I used my free one to lift her head. "You're beautiful. Beautiful doesn't cover it, actually. I don't have a word. So don't be insecure, okay? My mom loves you. And she doesn't judge you." She nodded her head and smiled.

"Okay. Thank you, Jay. You're really good at that. You - you can't see anything on my face?"

"No problem, love, and no. Nothing. You look amazing." We headed into the house and my mom was the first to greet us.

"Hello Kim! How are you? I'm so glad you came!" Kim's relief was obvious.

"Thank you for inviting me Mrs. Taylor." She smiled and my mom pulled her into a hug. I was nervous. Kim wasn't good with physical contact outside of Mina and I. But she hugged back and they walked into the dining room together where a table of food awaited us.

"Hello there, Kim. It's good to see you again!" My dad may not be ideal or even model but he was a good man and I respected him for being personable.

"Hi Mr. Taylor, how are you?"

"I'm well, and how are you?"

"Good, thank you." My family made idol small talk about this and that. And it was comfortable. Maybe not loving or as comfortable as it should be but it was good enough for me. I was thanking my lucky stars that no one had stared at her face which was bruised black and blue even through the makeup. Soon the plates were cleared and everyone was sitting outside on our small deck where dessert was being served.

"Bathroom?" Kim whispered in my ear.

"Down the hall, second door on the left."

"Thanks." She parted with a kiss to my cheek. Her lips were soft but firm. My mother and father were instantly by my side.

"What the hell happened to her face!" My mom whispered angrily at me.

"Her - her dad, he - "

"Oh my God,"

"Why in the world - ?"

"I took care of it, I took care of it," I tried to confirm that more to myself than to my parents.

"What do you mean you took care of it, Jared Michael Taylor!"

"I mean that I - it doesn't matter what it means! We'll talk about it later." Both of my parents looked quite upset. And that meant they cared. I smiled despite the fact that even the mention of what happened made my blood boil (higher than it already was). Kim came back from the bathroom and took a seat next to me. And just like that it was normal. My parents were good at putting on a show. Dessert proceeded much like dinner. I wasn't completely satisfied, but it would do for now. Besides me, Kim wasn't good at getting attached, understandably.

We left at around nine, Kim noticing me yawning and motioning for the door. My mother followed us out.

"You've become such a beautiful young woman, so much like your mother." Mom said as she cupped Kim's cheek. She seemed fine.

"Thank you Mrs. Taylor, that means a lot to me." Kim smiled and hugged my mom again. Good, it was less detached than dinner had been.

We made our way home in silence, just reveling in each other's presence... or at least that's what I was doing. Silence. It was a powerful thing. A lot could be communicated with silence. Felt more than communicated, I guess. Either way, I felt a lot the whole way home and when we got ready for bed. But no matter what I had felt, I wasn't ready for what was about to happen.

* * *

KPOV

_"Hey, oh, here I am. And here we go - life's waiting to begin. I cannot live, I can't breathe, unless you do this with me... Hey oh, here I am, do this with me." -Angels & Airwaves, The Adventure Finale_

Although dinner didn't go as spectacular as hoped, it could have been worse. It's not like anyone on the outside could tell that we were faking. It looked like a guy and his girlfriend having a nice dinner with his family. But Jared and his mother were amazingly perceptive. They could tell when something wasn't real. When I wanted something to be genuine, aside from Jared, it took a lot of effort. And I just didn't have it in me tonight. It was so much easier to slip on the mask. He pulled me against his chest as we climbed into bed. Solid and warm.

"I know it didn't go wonderfully and I understand why. I just want you to know it's okay. And I know it's going to take some getting used to. So don't stress about it, okay?"

He always knew the right thing to say. I loved this man. I loved him. He was... perfect. In every way. So strong, solid, so amazing. And even though I wasn't half of the human being he was, I had to let him know something.

"You're solid, you know? Like a rock. You'll never change. You see everything in black and white - you're morals, I mean ... I want to, too. So badly. But I don't. I see everything in shades of grey. Some are darker and some are lighter and they're never consistent. And I - I have no idea what I'm saying but... does it make sense? I'm not good at this Jared, but I just wanted you to know. That I love you. Because I do. Just... try not to break my heart, okay? There's not much left to break, anyway. But the little bit that's there is yours. It's not much, but it's what I have to give." It felt... liberating to say that. Straight up like it was. That was it. I was his. All that was left of me was his. I couldn't be without him; there was no way I could go back to the way it was. It was time to move forward. It was time to stop being stuck in the past.

"I love you too. I swear that I'll always be here. No matter what, I'll always love you ten times more each day. I'll love you until I die, and even then, after that? I'll still love you. I'm yours, really yours, mind, body, soul. All of it. And since you're mine, nothing will ever come between us. Okay? Okay," he whispered the last part, like he couldn't quite catch his breath. Just like me.

"Emotional overload," I breathed out.

"Agreed."

"Sleep?"

"Absolutely. I love you."

"I love you, too." And then he kissed me. And he put more into it than he ever had.

**A/N: REVIEW! OH! And whoever can guess where the whole 'Repression of the Nervous System' thing came from will be awarded 10 cool points :)**


	13. AN: BE WARNED!

A/N: I am a HORRIBLE person. I know, I know. Throw rocks and books and anything else you can get your hands on….

Done?

Good.

Now, onto business. The Pieces is currently on a SMALL hiatus because I've incurred a personal… we'll say issue (Which ultimately leads to pent up emotions and powerful writing) and I've been SO busy. I plan on writing A LOT over holiday break so I'll be updating again after the first of the year, okay? Again, sorry for an update that isn't actually a chapter. Have a happy holiday if you celebrate!


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